Okokaykay
Member
- May 10, 2023
- 96
I don't want to be lectured on how dangerous all of this sounds, btw- It's gotten to the point where I don't care if something bad happens to me.
I hate myself so much, to the point where I'm repulsed by absolutely everything I do. Everything I do, I pick apart and I don't entirely understand why.
And I'm always throwing myself at people, letting them do to me as they see fit and doing my best to do whatever it is they want to make them happy. Even though I've always been a people pleaser, it's gotten to the point where I entertain literally anything as long as I feel wanted in some way. Whether it's with creepy men or friend groups or whatever, I'm constantly seeking validation or closeness. I'm starved for any simple touch or friendship, and this is the best I can get.
Since I've grown more certain in my decision to cbt, I've only gotten more impulsive over it all. It's wrong and it's gross- I feel worse than ever.
I hate myself so much, to the point where I'm repulsed by absolutely everything I do. Everything I do, I pick apart and I don't entirely understand why.
And I'm always throwing myself at people, letting them do to me as they see fit and doing my best to do whatever it is they want to make them happy. Even though I've always been a people pleaser, it's gotten to the point where I entertain literally anything as long as I feel wanted in some way. Whether it's with creepy men or friend groups or whatever, I'm constantly seeking validation or closeness. I'm starved for any simple touch or friendship, and this is the best I can get.
Since I've grown more certain in my decision to cbt, I've only gotten more impulsive over it all. It's wrong and it's gross- I feel worse than ever.
