hikikomorizombie

hikikomorizombie

Ouch
Jan 15, 2024
771
i'm curious to see what my fellow Suicidals have been clinically diagnosed w. i've been diagnosed w 3 diff things by 3 diff doctors. mdd, bpd, & bipolar 2. not sure which 1 i actually have, or if i just have em all lol. hospitalized twice. tried lithium, prozac, lexapro, zoloft, & trazodone. i've also seen about 10 therapists in my 21 yrs of life. vvv tired.

so get diagnosed, check. go to therapy, check. try medications, check. psych wards, check. has anyone else also checked all the boxes/exhausted all options??
 
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Seered Doom

Seered Doom

A nihilist going through an unrelinquished Hell
Sep 9, 2023
911
  • Get diagnosed [✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓] (there's a ton)
  • Go to therapy [✓]
  • Try medications [✓]
  • Psych ward [✓]
Well shit, looks like I fit
 
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hikikomorizombie

hikikomorizombie

Ouch
Jan 15, 2024
771
  • Get diagnosed [✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓] (there's a ton)
  • Go to therapy [✓]
  • Try medications [✓]
  • Psych ward [✓]
Well shit, looks like I fit
nice, i h8 that for us B) but go team🫂
 
C

CPY

Student
Oct 30, 2023
130
Get diagnosed: yes
Go to therapy(wasting money): absolutely
Try medication: pumped up full
Psych ward: well luckily it's almost unheard of being admitted for anything but the most severe aggressive psychosis where I live so no not check on this one
 
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hikikomorizombie

hikikomorizombie

Ouch
Jan 15, 2024
771
Psych ward: well luckily it's almost unheard of being admitted for anything but the most severe aggressive psychosis where I live so no not check on this one
:o what country are u in if u don't mind me asking? i didn't know psych wards could be hard to access.
 
Last edited:
carac

carac

"and if this is the end, i am glad i met you."
May 27, 2023
1,112
I pretty much just went straight the the psych ward, skipped all the other parts haha
 
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sadwriter

sadwriter

No longer active (giving life another shot)
Aug 29, 2023
176
I don't have a real diagnosis, but have been told that I fall somewhere in that cPTSD/ BPD/ general trauma related spectrum.

Have been going to therapy for a little over 3 years now (plus a bit more when I was younger, but nothing super consistent) ✅

Tried a fuckload of medications ✅, but so far no meds at all has worked best for me

Went to the psych ward once during finals season when I was early in college and then residential treatment a few years later ✅

Looks like I've checked 'em all except one!
 
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TheShadowKing

TheShadowKing

≽^- ˕ -^≼
Dec 5, 2023
178
Get diagnosed - Not Yet (Hoping to get one for ADHD & Limerence)

Go to therapy - Looking for one right now lol

Try medications - I've tried Adderall and it seems to make me "Normal" for the few times I used it

Psych ward - A few times I should have got sent but luckily no
 
UsagiDrop

UsagiDrop

“What a beautiful day to haunt the earth.”
Apr 27, 2023
299
3/4 ain't so bad!

I went to therapy and got a diagnosis of bipolar II out of it (I'm so sorry that you also have to deal with this, it sucks). I suspect I have other disorders, but I wouldn't want to diagnose myself. I went on medication briefly, just mood stabilizers that amazingly worked on the first try. It was far from a cure for anything but it was nice to not swing into an episode every few weeks or months (I tend to rapid cycle). I felt a lot more mental clarity until it all came crashing down. But I've never been hospitalized or sent to a psychiatric ward.
well luckily it's almost unheard of being admitted for anything but the most severe aggressive psychosis
I'm not going to share my home country but it's pretty much the same there. A person has to be virtually incoherent and a danger to themselves in order to be admitted. There is a grand total of one psych ward in the entire country and they are pretty much partnered with the jail to "rehabilitate" prisoners so I could guess that's the majority of the population in there.
i didn't know psych wards could be hard to access.
When I moved, the culture shock was real. It seems that in the states at least, people can be thrown into a ward just because someone else makes a call on them. When I made my attempt years ago back home, I wasn't even sent to the ward in the hospital or required to stay for longer than it took for them to address my medical emergency. Don't know if they've changed their procedures on that. It was so quick that I ended up going to school that day and my school, once they caught wind of my condition, actually did more to try to prevent my suicide than doctors. Their approach still sucked tho lol.

It's a double edged sword because while I quite enjoy having not been institutionalized, it's not a readily available service for those who may benefit from a supervised visit and the structure of a psych ward stay. Not to mention, the stigma is a million times worse; one stay in there means you're either an exceptionally violent criminal or a profoundly disturbed person beyond saving to everyone around you. It's a small place that I come from so it's a little impossible for people to not know you've had a stay there, that seems to be a stain that follows people forever even if they recover or rehabilitate.
 
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H

Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
1,361
Check, check, check and check. Way overdue to check the fuck out of this shit hole world.
 
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hikikomorizombie

hikikomorizombie

Ouch
Jan 15, 2024
771
Check, check, check and check. Way overdue to check the fuck out of this shit hole world.
same bestie, i h8 that for us :/ i would've been gone but bc of the whole psych ward thing i can't buy a gun anymore unless i go through a lengthy & costly legal process</3
A person has to be virtually incoherent and a danger to themselves in order to be admitted. There is a grand total of one psych ward in the entire country and they are pretty much partnered with the jail to "rehabilitate" prisoners so I could guess that's the majority of the population in there.
When I made my attempt years ago back home, I wasn't even sent to the ward in the hospital or required to stay for longer than it took for them to address my medical emergency. It was so quick that I ended up going to school that day and my school, once they caught wind of my condition, actually did more to try to prevent my suicide than doctors. Their approach still sucked tho lol.

It's a double edged sword because while I quite enjoy having not been institutionalized, it's not a readily available service for those who may benefit from a supervised visit and the structure of a psych ward stay. Not to mention, the stigma is a million times worse; one stay in there means you're either an exceptionally violent criminal or a profoundly disturbed person beyond saving to everyone around you. It's a small place that I come from so it's a little impossible for people to not know you've had a stay there, that seems to be a stain that follows people forever even if they recover or rehabilitate.
oh wow :o thx for sharing about the psych ward situation in ur country, that's mind boggling to me!! i can def see how it being restricted is both good & bad. if i had to pick i'd rather have it be available to the general public bc 1 out of 2 of my stays there did help me somewhat. & i'm sorry ur attempt was dealt w so hastily, that prob felt pretty shitty ://

but i'm glad mood stabilizers worked for u!! i've never had much luck w the mind medicine, lol.

(srry this reply's so l8 :( i just saw it posted as a comment instead of a reply)
 
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O

oneeyed

Specialist
Oct 11, 2022
337
Diagnosed with major depressive disorder. Have debilitating anxiety but no "official" diagnosis on that I guess.

On two meds now, different ones from when I first starting taking this shit.

Went to psychiatrist years ago, it was alright. Very Freudian, the whole casual talking technique, he retired. Had one appointment with a counsellor, not for me.

Been to psych ward once after last attempt. That was horrible.

I am officially coocoo for cocoa puffs
 
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hikikomorizombie

hikikomorizombie

Ouch
Jan 15, 2024
771
Went to psychiatrist years ago, it was alright. Very Freudian, the whole casual talking technique, he retired. Had one appointment with a counsellor, not for me.

I am officially coocoo for cocoa puffs
yeah personally i feel like therapy's a mass placebo effect, lmaoooo. didn't help me even a lil bit, & they legit all tell u the same thing.

we're the CooCoo Puffs B) we should be their new ad.
 
Neverfeltdeader

Neverfeltdeader

Can you hear me drift away?
Dec 12, 2021
130
Diagnosed (ocd, bipolar 1, clinical depression, general anxiety disorder) ✔️
Gone to therapy ✔️
Took meds (can't name an SSRI and benzo I haven't tried) ✔️
Voluntarily placed myself in a psych unit ✔️
 
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omegas82128

omegas82128

Tar is thicker than blood and water
Jan 10, 2024
19
Diagnosed with mdd and bpd

Went to therapy and it was only an additional fucking burden

Still taking medication (only cause it helps me sleep and I have some interesting dreams)

Wanted to be placed in a psych ward, but my family said I didn't need it. Mostly cause they were told by doctors that they had some blame for how suicidal I was.
 
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C

CPY

Student
Oct 30, 2023
130
:o what country are u in if u don't mind me asking? i didn't know psych wards could be hard to access.
I'm from Italy.Basically the story goes that we had a fully fledged mental hospitals system but then people started to notice how cruel and badly run they were...its the 70s...so brotests broke out... government orders to shut down every psych hospital

So we only have psych wards in general hospitals and because of that there just isn't enough beds to commit everyone.Even if you attempt you'll be sent home as long as you're physically able.Even psychotic people are given antipsychotics and sent home as long as they don't throw a tantrum.Even if you get admitted the max they'll keep you is 7 days by law

Some people would like a return to the old ways but now the country is broke and there isn't enough money to run places like this anymore

Ideally I would like a middle ground I'm this but seeing how bad the conditions are in hospitals and nursing homes in the country I much prefer this
 
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leavingthesoultrap

leavingthesoultrap

(ᴗ_ ᴗ。)
Nov 25, 2023
1,212
I got diagnosed with BDP years ago
Got some meds - they really didn't fix the underlying problem
Didn't get therapy
Still no official diagnosis for Asperger's because my country is backwards.
 
M

moja bieda

Member
Nov 9, 2023
6
✔️ Diagnosed BPD, Depression, Anxiety
✔️ Tried medication prescribed (tried SSRIs, SNRIs, antipsychotics)
✔️ Tried medication non-prescribed and abused (all sorts but mostly benzos and opiates)
✔️ Hospitalised 10+ times, drug rehab twice
✔️ Psych ward
✔️ Therapy (on and off for last five years, trying DBT with my latest therapist)

Have never really tried sharing this with anyone outside of "mental health professionals". Kind of weird seeing that whole checklist for myself bcos it seems to juxtapose how I have been lucky in with work and money. I lost quite literally everything a few years ago from the substance abuse, the love of my life walked out, I got into tens of thousands of pounds of debt. But managed to get back into work and save up almost 100k now. But all the material stuff is so meaningless and does nothing to remove the constant whisper of leaving this life.
 
hikikomorizombie

hikikomorizombie

Ouch
Jan 15, 2024
771
Kind of weird seeing that whole checklist for myself bcos it seems to juxtapose how I have been lucky in with work and money. I lost quite literally everything a few years ago from the substance abuse, the love of my life walked out, I got into tens of thousands of pounds of debt. But managed to get back into work and save up almost 100k now.
:o wowwww, i give u major props for pulling yourself out of that. none of my family members have been able to escape addiction, except for 2. they also say what u said re: the whisper of leaving this life still being constant.

is there anything that u think could give u vigor for life/make u want to live??
 
M

moja bieda

Member
Nov 9, 2023
6
:o wowwww, i give u major props for pulling yourself out of that. none of my family members have been able to escape addiction, except for 2. they also say what u said re: the whisper of leaving this life still being constant.

is there anything that u think could give u vigor for life/make u want to live??
I wouldn't say I managed to escape addiction fully.. I had over four years clean up until two weeks ago when I relapsed and had a massive poly-substance bender... I truly believe addiction is a lifelong struggle.

There is only one thing that would make me want to live again, and that is if my ex were to be in my life again. Unfortunately I know that's not possible. We were each others first relationship, had a 8 year run, but I ruined it with the drug addiction. She left me four years ago. Found out recently that she had started dating her new partner like six months after we broke up. And they bought a house together within two years. I think they're married now.
 
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hikikomorizombie

hikikomorizombie

Ouch
Jan 15, 2024
771
I wouldn't say I managed to escape addiction fully.. I had over four years clean up until two weeks ago when I relapsed and had a massive poly-substance bender... I truly believe addiction is a lifelong struggle.
from what i've seen it def is. i'd 100% still give u props though!! relapse or no, most ppl can't even get clean in the 1st place. 1 of the family members i said 'escaped' addiction is actually just on a diff drug, but it's muchhhhh less damaging than the 1 they were on before. + they can go w/o it, it's not actively destroying their life like the other 1 was, so i'm still proud of them.

sorry to hear abt ur ex :// ik that must suck. i've never been in a relationship before, but heartbreak seems to be a huge reason for most ppls suicides.
 
Old Friend

Old Friend

Sleep well, Airstrip One.
Sep 24, 2023
478
Get diagnosed - Not Yet (Hoping to get one for ADHD & Limerence)

Can you get a diagnoses for limerence? I'm not sure it's even widely accepted as a condition. Even decades after the term was first coined, I'd say most people are still unfamiliar with it, including those with a scientific or medical background.

It's essentially destroyed my life, although I think it's a symptom of my dysfunctional upbringing rather than the root cause. It seems to have a lot of overlap with BPD & OCD.

As for any official diagnosis, all I have is "low mood". Understatement of the century, lol!
 
Hardcore_Henry

Hardcore_Henry

Water Drinker
Dec 24, 2023
157
Got Diagnosed with Social Anxiety and depression (got both pretty bad lol). went to therapy & got medication for it. helped kinda? but its got side effects soooo blegh
 
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BrainShower

BrainShower

Tiny storm
Nov 7, 2023
253
Dx with major depression. The medicines (many different ones) made it worse, (physical side effects) and I cannot afford them anyway, so I am whiteknuckling it.
i have had this a long time and can usually make it look good to the rest of the world, but abt 2-4 times a year I lose my shit and cannot deal w people for a week or 2. No end in sight.
not the worst story on here though and I'm aware of that.

Got Diagnosed with Social Anxiety and depression (got both pretty bad lol). went to therapy & got medication for it. helped kinda? but its got side effects soooo blegh
Fuck them side effects, I'd rather deal with the disease than the cure
 
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dinosavr

dinosavr

and if i’m turning blue, please, don’t save me 🌛
Dec 14, 2023
696
get diagnosed - yes and no, they are still figuring it out
go to therapy - yes & I don't love it lol
try medications - yes and I don't love that either
psych wards - my psychiatrist wanted to send me there and thank god I managed to convince her not to
 
sick.faery

sick.faery

Mar 18, 2021
284
-i did get diagnosed with stuff: mdd, bdd, ptsd
- went to therapy. also have no true idea how many i've seen. but i think it should be about 12-14 people maybe
- go on meds: zoloft & xanax
- went to psych places: went to the psych er for a bit, went to a private clinic for a couple months & also went to one of those wilderness psych/trouble teen programs for a while too

though all that was when i was in middle-high school. stopped everything at 18
 
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hikikomorizombie

hikikomorizombie

Ouch
Jan 15, 2024
771
-i did get diagnosed with stuff: mdd, bdd, ptsd
- went to therapy. also have no true idea how many i've seen. but i think it should be about 12-14 people maybe
- go on meds: zoloft & xanax
- went to psych places: went to the psych er for a bit, went to a private clinic for a couple months & also went to one of those wilderness psych/trouble teen programs for a while too

though all that was when i was in middle-high school. stopped everything at 18
damn :o i'm sorry u were sent to a wilderness program. i knew some1 who went to 1 of those & tbh i don't think he ever really came back from it.

& omg same!!!! more or less. i might've tried 1 or 2 more counselors as a sort of last ditch effort @ 18-19, but for the most part i feel like mental illness 'recovery' is 1 big scam/placebo effect, after going through all that. or that it really only works for a very select few.
 
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C

cherry7

Experienced
Feb 18, 2023
264
i'm curious to see what my fellow Suicidals have been clinically diagnosed w. i've been diagnosed w 3 diff things by 3 diff doctors. mdd, bpd, & bipolar 2. not sure which 1 i actually have, or if i just have em all lol. hospitalized twice. tried lithium, prozac, lexapro, zoloft, & trazodone. i've also seen about 10 therapists in my 21 yrs of life. vvv tired.

so get diagnosed, check. go to therapy, check. try medications, check. psych wards, check. has anyone else also checked all the boxes/exhausted all options??
Many more things to check I believe. Under the umbrella of therapy there are so many options! So many different forms of therapy from somatic therapies, other trauma specific therapies, trauma focused body work, the list goes on and on. And under each of those umbrella terms there are so many different things to try. Also, seeing a functional medicine or naturopathic doctor to address any physiological things causing the mental illness. There's Chinese medicine like acupuncture. There's Ayurveda. There's psychedelic assisted therapy. And so many other things I'm not listing here. If you want to heal there are so many more options to explore before you say you've exhausted it all!
 
PinballWizard39

PinballWizard39

Experienced
May 3, 2024
219
Diagnoses with Clinical depression at 15, alongside anxiety and self harm ( i know, not a diagnosis). First time I saw a psych was on my 'first' suicide attempt here
Started the first of a shit ton of medications - antidepressants, antipsychotics, sleeping pills, anti-anxieties, mood stabilisers , etc - that never helped.
First admission to a psych ward when I was 16 and then in and out with depression, suicidal tendencies and then later anorexia until my mid 20s. Anorexia admissions were the ones where I was sectioned and force fed with a tube against my will.
Misdiagnosed with BPD at 18 which gave me even more trauma from MH mistreatment.
Other diagnoses over the years - anorexia, bulimia, suspected and now determined PTSD and C-PTSD. Treatment resistant depression.
Been through CBT, DBT, bits and bobs of CAT/EMDR - not full courses so it made little difference. Few sessions of trauma therapy here and there.
Multiple psychiatrists, therapists, psychiatric nurses, social workers, crisis/home treatment teams, support groups..
There's probably stuff I'm missing, but yeah, fuck.. even typing that makes me feel like a freak!
 
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