The loneliness will kill me

[platypusfan]

I've talked about this before, but it's been getting even worse. I have never felt connected to anyone. I am losing hope that it's even possible to me. I understand now how important connection is. It's what makes us humans. But I lack it. I'm not talking about the normal type of loneliness… yeah I don't have a partner or many friends and this bothers me a lot but it's more of the idea that even if I were to find people to be with I will still feel lonely. The fact is, even with people who I view as friends, I can't connect with them. I even struggle to connect to my family. I can care about people but I feel no sense of belonging. I am unsure if this is just how I am or if I just haven't experienced it yet. And I feel incredibly guilty about this. I feel unworthy of anything because of this. I don't know what to do about it, and everywhere I go people misunderstand what I mean. They give tips on socializing.. and stuff like that.. but even if I can socialize I still won't feel right. I can become successful and popular, and I will still feel isolated. I just feel off, like im in the wrong place, but I've felt like this every second of my whole life and this is my number one reason for being suicidal. I feel jealous of everyone who can feel this connection, even if they're in a worse position than me, the longing for this connection is just drowning me. I want nothing more than to find someone who can make me feel like a person.

 

[Darkover]

it's ture the loneliness is what got to me in the end leading to a substance misuse weed resulting in a brain injury from headphones

 

[Inthewind]

I've talked about this before, but it's been getting even worse. I have never felt connected to anyone. I am losing hope that it's even possible to me. I understand now how important connection is. It's what makes us humans. But I lack it. I'm not talking about the normal type of loneliness… yeah I don't have a partner or many friends and this bothers me a lot but it's more of the idea that even if I were to find people to be with I will still feel lonely. The fact is, even with people who I view as friends, I can't connect with them. I even struggle to connect to my family. I can care about people but I feel no sense of belonging. I am unsure if this is just how I am or if I just haven't experienced it yet. And I feel incredibly guilty about this. I feel unworthy of anything because of this. I don't know what to do about it, and everywhere I go people misunderstand what I mean. They give tips on socializing.. and stuff like that.. but even if I can socialize I still won't feel right. I can become successful and popular, and I will still feel isolated. I just feel off, like im in the wrong place, but I've felt like this every second of my whole life and this is my number one reason for being suicidal. I feel jealous of everyone who can feel this connection, even if they're in a worse position than me, the longing for this connection is just drowning me. I want nothing more than to find someone who can make me feel like a person.

I think ive felt this way before, I still can or do i think sometimes. You found like minded people who think like you do and have same morals ish? hmm personally I found it to be ok, I think I came to terms with it or sometimes it goes away or comes back if I think about. Thinking about things too much may make a problem in my mind then when I stop thinking about it it wont be a problem. Man, and it becoming worse for you, hmm i think i havent thought about it too much since it dissappears i never thought about how i feel that much about it cuz i ended up doing my own thing like games or hw. Maybe same can go for you? buut it is a emotion so..it may come back either way... i can only recommend doing your own thing, who needs to connect anyway.. Hmm i wonder what will happen for you and wether it gets better, or what happens if it gets worse?

 

[platypusfan]

I think ive felt this way before, I still can or do i think sometimes. You found like minded people who think like you do and have same morals ish? hmm personally I found it to be ok, I think I came to terms with it or sometimes it goes away or comes back if I think about. Thinking about things too much may make a problem in my mind then when I stop thinking about it it wont be a problem. Man, and it becoming worse for you, hmm i think i havent thought about it too much since it dissappears i never thought about how i feel that much about it cuz i ended up doing my own thing like games or hw. Maybe same can go for you? buut it is a emotion so..it may come back either way... i can only recommend doing your own thing, who needs to connect anyway.. Hmm i wonder what will happen for you and wether it gets better, or what happens if it gets worse?

Doing work helps but only in the moment when it's difficult enough stuff to be distracted from stuff like this, games used to work but lately I haven't had time to play them. It doesn't really go away.. it's sort of like a background feeling now, always there. I don't know what'll happen if it gets worse or better, and I also wonder how either way will feel, hopefully it can get better but I really don't know what that's supposed to feel like.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Humans are social creatures. It's our nature to live in social communities but nowadays society is so much different to the natural way of living we would normally have. Loneliness can kill and it can also cause MH issues.

I wish you all the best and I hope you don't feel too alone at least not here!

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Is there a chance that you have a personality trait like autism that may be preventing you from proper interaction?

 

[Lost Magic]

Everybody interprets loneliness in different ways. I understand your pain but I am a creature of solitude, but it still doesn't mean I don't get lonely. Check out this wonderful poem about Loneliness by Charles Bukowski

 

[platypusfan]

Is there a chance that you have a personality trait like autism that may be preventing you from proper interaction?

There is a high chance, but I am not sure how to go about getting a diagnosis especially being older now the signs aren't as obvious

Everybody interprets loneliness in different ways. I understand your pain but I am a creature of solitude, but it still doesn't mean I don't get lonely. Check out this wonderful poem about Loneliness by Charles Bukowski

Thank you, that is a nice poem, it's true too, I feel the most lonely when there are people around me

 

[bluebus]

Loneliness is a silent killer, absolutely. It's like drowning in a way. All anyone sees is a head floating above water, they have no idea what's going on below the surface. I'm sorry that you're dealing with all of this, it's way more than anyone should have to experience. I really hope that you can find some relief somewhere. You deserve to feel like a human, and you deserve to have a meaningful connection. Wishing you all the best

Everybody interprets loneliness in different ways. I understand your pain but I am a creature of solitude, but it still doesn't mean I don't get lonely. Check out this wonderful poem about Loneliness by Charles Bukowski

I love that short story, I also love Charles Bukowski! One of my favorite poets of all time