The line: "The reasons are secondary, the act itself is primary."

[TAW122]

In many various threads on SaSu, I have oftenly used this line and in this thread, I want to elaborate on what I mean by this. When I say that "the reasons [for wanting to or CTB'ing] are secondary" I am not implying that the reasons are unimportant. In fact, they are important, but it shouldn't be the sole focus of someone CTB'ing or even when I (eventually) CTB. This is because reasons vary from individual to individual, and no two individuals are the same. What may be a trivial reason for one person, may be a major reason for another and vice versa. If one were to debate reasons, it would just go on almost forever and get nowhere, only resulting in more questions than answers.

Additionally, because reasons are subjective and varies, this opens the possibility of invalidation and dismissal by other people (who are not living said person's life). This is even more detrimental towards the person suffering as it makes them even more tormented, anguished, and feeling more trapped as their complaints and problems are being made to be unimportant and their voice being taken away from them. Therefore, it is not constructive nor helpful to SOLELY ONLY focus on the reasons. It is more important to respect the person CTB's wishes and if one wishes to comprehend another's reasons for checking out, they may do so as long as they respect said person's wishes, even if they themselves don't fully agree with them.

The second part of the sentence is that the "act itself is primary" and by that I am referring to the act of CTB'ing because it is the ultimate act of free will. In addition to this, it is a very courageous act and monumental action as it overrides one of the most difficult instincts (the survival instinct/self-preservation instinct) a human being has. That alone is quite an accomplishment in and of itself. (Of course though, pro-lifers and anti-choicers only see CTB as giving up or some easy to do action, which only proves their ignorance and intolerance towards people who are different from them..) Many people are trapped within this world due to not having the means for a peaceful, reliable exit, then coupled with the fact that they are faced with their own self-preservation/ survival instinct, and also constant bombardment of pro-life programming throughout their lives. Over the course of humanity's history and existence, there are not many that have overcome it and also succeeded at the act. Instead of demonizing the person (who suffered immensely over a long period of time, more than said person would find tolerable) and lamenting over a loss, one should recognize that the person not only overcame their most difficult challenge, but also found peace and are no longer suffering.

I hope this explains my meaning behind the line "The reasons for wanting to CTB are secondary, the act of CTB'ing itself is primary." Let me know your thoughts.

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

I've had a few people I've known CTB on me, knowing they're in a better place and no longer need to suffer is a good thing to me and should be celebrated; As much as I feel sad knowing I'll never interact with them again is secondary to their choice, I only feel a fraction of what they did and to me it is selfish to intervene for that reason.

They deserve to be free as humans and freedom means the right to die. I dislike the pro-life notion of "Hopefully they survived" because quite honestly I hope for the opposite.

I also really like your signature, I agree with it and I think it's well said.

 

[gizzreid]

i have been waiting to CTB since i was 12, maybe longer but i don't remember my childhood. i have tried tons of times since then but being a minor with no job makes it hard to access actually lethal things. i'm finally an adult and in a place where i am ready to go, so i can finally do it. i'm preparing, this is a big thing for me. i'm not joking, i'm getting dressed up, putting labels on items i want to go to certain people (i have 9 younger siblings and over 20 plushies, they're all getting one!). this is big and it's taking a lot of willpower to work up to and plan for. the act is so important to me.

 

[CentreMid]

I wholeheartedly agree with your thinking. Suicide is an act of defiance in an unjust and controlling world, it also takes a tremendous amount of courage to carry out, yet there is no set criteria for doing so. Thank you for explaining!

And specifically focusing on the first half phrase, I've responded to a few threads myself using a condensed and simplified version of what you've said, as in: I may not agree with a person's reasons, but it's more productive to respect their choice to die and support them rather than dwell on the "why".

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't think that suicide could ever need a reason as nobody is obligated to delay their inevitable fate just because some people were selfish enough to procreate. Death will happen eventually whether there is a reason behind it or not, and the fact is that suicide is simply a human right, the decision to choose to die is always valid to me no matter the circumstances. But I certainly do envy those who are already gone, it really is so courageous to me to overcome all of the obstacles involved in leaving this world.