ToTheTwillight
Experienced
- May 19, 2023
- 238
I'm new here, thought I share my story.
Pretty much I was not made for this world, I remember as early as a teen I wanted to not live, but so much pressure and consequences in society if you ever hint on the idea of 'ending it', so had to battle through life and take the punches. The first time I mentioned it to my dad and the woman he married I wanted to end it, the next day they sent me to mental institution for one week, forcing me to stay there until i succumb and agree to their awful jail like rules at home, which only stripped me of my self dignity to be tortured at school. Turns out I am considered someone in the spectrum, so socially despite my strong desires to have success, never happened and I never had a girlfriend, epic failure.
Later on in life, worked at this company where it looked like I made a big splash, they ended up stealing my work. Although it never became a huge boom, that had also to do with the fact that they didn't want to capitalize from the one they stole it from. The company still goes on to have quite a bit of success, thou i'll admit for other reasons than my contribution.
Anyways, what appalls to me is how everyone has that 'you must live!!!' attitude and feeling from every corner they gonna claw you to dump you to psyche ward if you refuse to choose to live because you just have to 'move on'... Like there is such thing as too much suffering, there is such thing as you better off not living. But the fact that we live in a world we try to lock those who choose to take their own, just so these happy people feel happier we live in a society that doesn't have people take their own life, bogus reason to live for them! that to me is hell!
Anyways bad luck, crappy life. Maybe not all was just bad, but enough of it was.
Pretty much I was not made for this world, I remember as early as a teen I wanted to not live, but so much pressure and consequences in society if you ever hint on the idea of 'ending it', so had to battle through life and take the punches. The first time I mentioned it to my dad and the woman he married I wanted to end it, the next day they sent me to mental institution for one week, forcing me to stay there until i succumb and agree to their awful jail like rules at home, which only stripped me of my self dignity to be tortured at school. Turns out I am considered someone in the spectrum, so socially despite my strong desires to have success, never happened and I never had a girlfriend, epic failure.
Later on in life, worked at this company where it looked like I made a big splash, they ended up stealing my work. Although it never became a huge boom, that had also to do with the fact that they didn't want to capitalize from the one they stole it from. The company still goes on to have quite a bit of success, thou i'll admit for other reasons than my contribution.
Anyways, what appalls to me is how everyone has that 'you must live!!!' attitude and feeling from every corner they gonna claw you to dump you to psyche ward if you refuse to choose to live because you just have to 'move on'... Like there is such thing as too much suffering, there is such thing as you better off not living. But the fact that we live in a world we try to lock those who choose to take their own, just so these happy people feel happier we live in a society that doesn't have people take their own life, bogus reason to live for them! that to me is hell!
Anyways bad luck, crappy life. Maybe not all was just bad, but enough of it was.
