The importance of looks destroy even the most rosey-tinted deluded narratives about life.

[mwu14]

Being ugly leads to all sorts of problems. An extroverted person with my same face would find it impossible to do much of anything socially. They'd get bullied at work and that's if they got hired. Probably spend a lot of time in human resources. They wouldn't like getting smirked at in public. Or people that are getting the wrong idea and thinking you're some kind of psychotic person. Then there's the people that talk to you like you're a kid or someone with a severe learning disability.

Women I dated, it was like a cognitive dissonance where they were both attracted to me and intimidated at the same time. And I'm about as non-violent as someone can get. It's like they were mistaking my neutral expression for the male version of a resting bitch face.

I was at a sandwich shop earlier this year and wanted to get a bag of chips. The cashier smirked and charged me over a dollar for one of those small bags that usually comes with the sandwich. She'd just given one to the other person I was with for free.

People who say being ugly doesn't matter are probably thinking about someone they know that's conventionally ugly. Maybe people joke about them being ugly behind their backs, but they don't attract that kind of attention or they wouldn't have gotten anywhere in life.

Also when people make it about dating. It isn't about that. I could put on really nice clothes and pretend to be confident long enough to get dates. It doesn't change all the other things I mentioned.

 

[tony.end]

Being ugly leads to all sorts of problems. An extroverted person with my same face would find it impossible to do much of anything socially. They'd get bullied at work and that's if they got hired. Probably spend a lot of time in human resources. They wouldn't like getting smirked at in public. Or people that are getting the wrong idea and thinking you're some kind of psychotic person. Then there's the people that talk to you like you're a kid or someone with a severe learning disability.

Women I dated, it was like a cognitive dissonance where they were both attracted to me and intimidated at the same time. And I'm about as non-violent as someone can get. It's like they were making my neutral expression for the male version of a resting bitch face.

I was at a sandwich shop earlier this year and wanted to get a bag of chips. The cashier smirked and charged me over a dollar for one of those small bags that usually comes with the sandwich. She'd just given one to the other person I was with for free.

People who say being ugly doesn't matter are probably thinking about someone they know that's conventionally ugly. Maybe people joke about them being ugly behind their backs, but they don't attract that kind of attention or they wouldn't have gotten anywhere in life.

Also when people make it about dating. It isn't about that. I could put on really nice clothes and pretend to be confident long enough to get dates. It doesn't change all the other things I mentioned.

I also live in a judgmental area where people aren't that great looking themselves but still love to point out other people's flaws, so that could have something to do it. It would still happen most other places though, just not as often.

I can SO relate. Only people who have gone through this can really understand

 

[KCN]

Due to a mild heart disease that causes periferic edema my face sometimes gets swollen out of nowhere when I'm tired, and it makes me envy so much those who have ultra sharp jawlines. They have it easy

 

[throwaway123]

It's amazing how much better your life is when you look good and it's amazing how horrible your life is when you're ugly like me. I see it everyday in school. Looks define everything. People only care about the outside and then judge. It's actually sad.

 

[tony.end]

It's amazing how much better your life is when you look good and it's amazing how horrible your life is when you're ugly like me. I see it everyday in school. Looks define everything. People only care about the outside and then judge. It's actually sad.

But I don't want to blame it on people being superficial. It's an unconscious thing you know, there's really not much we can do about it. I was just born the wrong way

 

[throwaway123]

I took this text from another forum (wich is unfortunately pro-life so I won't link it). I can identify so much with this:

"As my name unmistakably makes clear, I am extremely ugly, so that I cannot even do any regular work anymore.
I walk in the evening in the dark, during the day I am exclusively in the apartment, only for shopping I take the strain on myself and also go out in broad daylight. About 2 times a week.
I almost always have to listen to insults: What do you look like; what a creep; there are more and more of them here, disgusting; Oh God he is so ugly. Or mostly only distorted mines, because they can't bear the face.
Of course, spitting out before the feet is also not uncommon. Lookism is a big problem. I dare the formula:
Speciesism> Lookism > Racism > Sexism.
Unfortunately there is hardly any talk about lookism, although it has an outstanding character for life. Only targeted breeding - like it's being done on animals - can solve the problem."

 

[Suicideisnirvana]

I hope one day you guys will be able to get rid of that canons which other chose for you. The day you will do it, everything will improve for you.

It's not as simple as that, we don't want to conform to "any canon". We just need a minimum of affection/quality social bonding/sexual life etc, it's not like that we want to conform to the canon for the canon sake. That would be like saying someone who want money to eat and have a home that he "wants to conform to the standards of capitalism", the same way you need money in most circumstances to eat and have a home, you need to physically attract in most circumstances to get affection/validation/love/sex (the last one apply only for men)

Life is in such a way that being attractive gives you those things that a human need to thrive, like love/sex/bonding/validation, we didn't make the rules of life.

 

[throwaway123]

It's not as simple as that, we don't want to conform to "any canon". We just need a minimum of affection/quality social bonding/sexual life etc, it's not like that we want to conform to the canon for the canon sake. That would be like saying someone who want money to eat and have a home that he "wants to conform to the standards of capitalism", the same way you need money in most circumstances to eat and have a home, you need to physically attract in most circumstances to get affection/validation/love/sex (the last one apply only for men)

Life is in such a way that being attractive gives you those things that a human need to thrive, like love/sex/bonding/validation, we didn't make the rules of life.

I see that every day. As soon as someone attractive shows up, all the women or men throw themselves at them. It's pathetic.

 

[MEoDP]

I see that every day. As soon as someone attractive shows up, all the women or men throw themselves at them. It's pathetic.

The real funny and sad thing about it is that part of my unusual fetish is throwing myself at the feet of attractive/beautiful women. I don't act on it in real life,because there will be irreversible social consequences,but I can't deny it isn't there. That's part of the reason I decided to learn lucid dreaming,so I have an outlet for acting out on my fantasies and desires with no consequence.

This entire thread speaks truth. Look up the term "Halo-effect." There is actual scientific study showing how biased people are towards attractive/beautiful people. and I say this as someone who was fortunate/lucky enough to experience the beneficial side of this effect to some extent. (I'm fat/out of shape at the moment,but I was apparently born with a naturally attractive/good-looking face.) Its definitely part of the explanation for me passing subjects in school that I had no business passing if I were being honest with myself.

 

[Suicideisnirvana]

I see that every day. As soon as someone attractive shows up, all the women or men throw themselves at them. It's pathetic.

I think it's even worse for men. Daily observation (subjective) and a lot of studies (Okcupid/Tinder Dynamics, all online dating etc) show that women only flock to the top 10/20% of men, while men even while they prefer attractive women to less attractive, are more diverse and less - Mexican Level of Inequality -concentrating on the very top. Plus women have make up/sexy clothing to make themselves more attractive, men have none of that.

For instance : https://medium.com/@worstonlinedate...ably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a

Also look at that post : https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/55de3g/what_percentage_of_guys_look_cute_to_you/

There is absolutely no comparison, men don't find only between 1% and 5% women attractive.

I don't care about being controversial, i think this is a topic where men have it way worse.

 

[MEoDP]

I think it's even worse for men. Daily observation (subjective) and a lot of studies (Okcupid/Tinder Dynamics, all online dating etc) show that women only flock to the top 10/20% of men, while men even while they prefer attractive women to less attractive, are more diverse and less - Mexican Level of Inequality -concentrating on the very top. Plus women have make up/sexy clothing to make themselves more attractive, men have none of that.

For instance : https://medium.com/@worstonlinedate...ably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a

Also look at that post : https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/55de3g/what_percentage_of_guys_look_cute_to_you/

There is absolutely no comparison, men don't find only between 1% and 5% women attractive.

I don't care about being controversial, i think this is a topic where men have it way worse.

Here's an article that's now sadly been deleted(but thankfully archived),but its more proof of what you're saying:

https://web.archive.org/web/2011122...d.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/

 

[weedoge]

You can say that about anything.

"Mental health is important, but it's not everything"

"Physical health is important, but it's not everything"

"Having all your limbs and hands is important, but it's not everything"

And why don't you believe that men and women can have it worse in some aspects ? If some women say that the fear while walking in the street at night is worse for them than for men, would you say it's againt the spirit of the forum ?

I'm not going to get into a discourse about this because I know the point of view already. I just think some statements (women who walk alone at night are at more risk than men) are more true than other statements (ugly men have it worse in every aspect of life than ugly women). Sorry I won't respond again because I know it's yet another idea that I just can't agree with but keep on keeping on.

 

[Suicideisnirvana]

I'm not going to get into a discourse about this because I know the point of view already. I just think some statements (women who walk alone at night are at more risk than men) are more true than other statements (ugly men have it worse in every aspect of life than ugly women). Sorry I won't respond again because I know it's yet another idea that I just can't agree with but keep on keeping on.

But see, This is your opinion, for me they are absolutely as true. And evolutionary selection gives objective arguments as why women have it easier when it comes to attracting/validation/sex.

I think it's this type of call to censure and to conform to right thought instead of "wrong think" is what's detrimental to a suicide forum. This is one of the things i hate the most about society.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

finding free sex is easy finding love well i have ever known it , maybe its not real. just a fairy tail like the Easter bunny and god.

 

[weedoge]

But see, This is your opinion, for me they are absolutely as true. And evolutionary selection gives objective arguments as why women have it easier when it comes to attracting/validation/sex.

I think it's this type of call to censure and to conform to right thought instead of "wrong think" is what's detrimental to a suicide forum. This is one of the things i hate the most about society.

I didn't call for any kind of censorship. Please don't put words in my mouth. Have a nice thread.

Edit: I suggested having a sticky or one specific thread for these views because it's a VERY divided topic and we'd prefer not to have fights here.

 

[MEoDP]

I know a very attractive man/boy about my age who is extremely depressed and nigh-on suicidal and his looks make no difference.

I don't think anyone here is really saying that looks are the key to guaranteed happiness,but it certainly helps. I've expressed already here that I've actually benefited from the Halo effect myself to an extent.

I still have a lot of problems about life though,and why I've considered CTB several times in my life. My face doesn't give me the power to solve all my problems,but I do appreciate whatever benefit in nets me at times.

Given the topic,I've got a trivia question for everyone.

Which would you choose,to be supremely attractive who makes enough money to live a solid middle class life,or to be unattractive(not necessarily ugly. you won't be made fun of,but you're sexually invisible)but a rich as hell person? whose life would actually be better?

 

[Suicideisnirvana]

I didn't call for any kind of censorship. Please don't put words in my mouth. Have a nice thread.

Edit: I suggested having a sticky or one specific thread for these views because it's a VERY divided topic and we'd prefer not to have fights here.

This post is about lookism, i just expressed my opinion ON ONE COMMENT that i think men have it worse that women in that aspect, oh the crime against humanity.

 

[weedoge]

This post is about lookism, i just expressed my opinion ON ONE COMMENT that i think men have it worse that women in that aspect, oh the crime against humanity.

Look, I never directed the harshest things I was saying at any one person in particular. The people who came here with that attitude know who they are and posts like these, regardless, will attract those people. Sorry to say but yes that is one certain group of people I'd rather not interact with.

 

[weedoge]

So i can say "Posts about feminists should have a sticky, i know all feminists don't call for violence, but this what some prominents feminists said https://thoughtcatalog.com/jake-fil...eminists-that-will-make-you-rethink-feminism/"

Do you think we should associate feminists with those vile, violent hateful words ? Why not ?

I have absolutely 0 hate against women, i think women and men have the same defauts, that none is better than the other, but that both have it worse in some specific aspects. I also don't think it's the fault of women to only flocking to the most attractive guys, i don't even believe in free-will, why the hell should i be associated with people who call for rape just because we share one of the views ?

Do you think all suicidal people should be feared because some of them just in front of trains and some of them kill people before suicide ?

That all wellfares states are nazis because nazi germany had a wellfare system ?

All dog lovers are nazi because hitler loved animals ?

You're not even reading what I said, therefore I won't read what you said.

 

[Suicideisnirvana]

Look, I never directed the harshest things I was saying at any one person in particular. The people who came here with that attitude know who they are and posts like these, regardless, will attract those people. Sorry to say but yes that is one certain group of people I'd rather not interact with.

I find this kind of orwellian, totalitarian call for censure and homogeneisation of people you disagree with really vile the height of intolerance and prejudice. I expressed an opinion with absolutely no hatred, no insult, not the slightest attack, and you refers me to people i strongly disagree with and find vile because they also share one specific opinion.

I won't reply in this topic anymore, i don't have any energy to reply to every Orwellian inquisitor, so i'll leave you the last word.

 

[Suicideisnirvana]

You're not even reading what I said, therefore I won't read what you said.

I read what you said.

It amounts to

"You hold this specific opinion"

"Some vile people also hold this specific opinion"

Therefore you shouldn't be able to express it freely.

 

[weedoge]

I don't think anyone here is really saying that looks are the key to guaranteed happiness,but it certainly helps. I've expressed already here that I've actually benefited from the Halo effect myself to an extent.

I still have a lot of problems about life though,and why I've considered CTB several times in my life. My face doesn't give me the power to solve all my problems,but I do appreciate whatever benefit in nets me at times.

Given the topic,I've got a trivia question for everyone.

Which would you choose,to be supremely attractive who makes enough money to live a solid middle class life,or to be unattractive(not necessarily ugly. you won't be made fun of,but you're sexually invisible)but a rich as hell person? whose life would actually be better?

Depends how obsessed you are with sex.