I first saw this phrase in an interview with Thomas Ligotti. I think it's self explanatory. Thinking about all the things that could go wrong, even relatively small things, are a huge part of my severe anxiety. A couple of days ago I misplaced my wallet and was beginning to go into panic when I found the damn thing. Everyone associates suicidal ideation with depression, but anxiety not so much. I think this is wrong.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 38,856
One of the reasons as to why existence truly is so undesirable to me is that there is unlimited potential for existing to get much more unbearable. To exist means to suffer so unnecessarily all with the risk of suffering much more being there at any moment as after all we exist in this reality where chance so senselessly determines everything. All that I see as ideal is permanently ceasing to exist where all is finally forgotten about, ceasing to exist solves everything for me and removes the need for anything, there are no disadvantages to not existing.
The good news is, a lot of it is imaginary/fictional, in the context of our own lives(it can't all be true at once from our own perception at least). I think the concept of "Suffering that is not necessary and is avoidable through a clear mind" is important. It's possible to go through the ordeal of missing your wallet without any or very minimal suffering, or it's possible to have a complete breakdown. I think we're very flexible creatures and can be molded towards one or the other of the two extremes.
This can be applied(with much greater difficulty) to big things, like, say, ... suppose the works of HP Lovecraft are much more reality than fiction. What is the point or the utility of fear here if this is the nature of things? All one can do is accept it, and the sooner, the better. Or one can flounder in neurosis, wish it weren't the case, pray to wake up from the nightmare, panic, scream, etc. In this case, fear is just a kind of evolutionary mis-firing that tries to pilot us towards some sort of adaptive space. It's a shit strategy if you're already in an unavoidable, horrific hellscape. And this fact can be realized with clarity or we can just be totally ignorant of it, but it's that realization that softens anxiety. Easy to say and hard to do if your eyes are bleeding because you're face to face with a Great Old One, but... the idea here isn't to use some kind of magic willpower, it's something that takes years of deliberate practice.
If you do an image search for Thich Quang Duc, a person can't do that through willpower and gritting their teeth, that's not what is going on when he doesn't scream or flinch despite burning alive. Someone like that would be best fit to survive the kind of encounter I'm describing above with minimal or even zero suffering, and it's because they trained their mind for it.
This can be applied(with much greater difficulty) to big things, like, say, ... suppose the works of HP Lovecraft are much more reality than fiction. What is the point or the utility of fear here if this is the nature of things? All one can do is accept it, and the sooner, the better. Or one can flounder in neurosis, wish it weren't the case, pray to wake up from the nightmare, panic, scream, etc. In this case, fear is just a kind of evolutionary mis-firing that tries to pilot us towards some sort of adaptive space. It's a shit strategy if you're already in an unavoidable, horrific hellscape. And this fact can be realized with clarity or we can just be totally ignorant of it, but it's that realization that softens anxiety. Easy to say and hard to do if your eyes are bleeding because you're face to face with a Great Old One, but... the idea here isn't to use some kind of magic willpower, it's something that takes years of deliberate practice.
If you do an image search for Thich Quang Duc, a person can't do that through willpower and gritting their teeth, that's not what is going on when he doesn't scream or flinch despite burning alive. Someone like that would be best fit to survive the kind of encounter I'm describing above with minimal or even zero suffering, and it's because they trained their mind for it.
So if we just learn to get our "Zen on" all will be fine? Sorry if I'm misunderstanding you.
That depends on what you mean by "Get your Zen on". If you mean that having a crystal clear mind that is both lucid and attentive, but also unphased by the grip of negative thoughts, emotions, sensations, will be better than drowning in completely pointless neurosis, then that seems to answer itself. What kind of mind should we prefer if we are to live in hell? (Even if only for the goal of choosing to end one's life-- just to not come off as pro life, this is just what works regardless of what we're doing no?)
The question is really just this: How much time do we spend lost in/as our mind, and how much time have we reflected on the actual nature of mind(Which is possible-- and freeing) that realization alone can be very useful.
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To an extent, it makes sense. Our perception/ the way we narrate our own path in life to ourselves is bound to make a difference on how we experience life- the glass is half full vs the glass is half empty type thinking.
However, there are unavoidable things in life for most people. We likely need to earn money. We have bodies that are prone to illness and aging. Someone who applies to 200 jobs and gets 200 rejection letters back may be tempted to start to feel hesitant about trying again. All the time, the wolf's at the door. They need to pay the rent, the bills are mounting up. Someone who receives an unfortunate diagnosis of something painful they have, which will slowly start to incapacitate them is bound to feel not too optimistic about their future.
What's even more important though I believe, is the wish to want to live at all. We can put up with unbelievable adversity if we have that will to live. If we don't though- the smallest of inconveniences like losing your wallet can push you over the edge because: 'Why should I be alive to put up with all this shit? It's just something else I now have to deal with...'
That's right, and I even included the other side of that because people tend to appreciate that even less-- the will to die. What kind of mind would we want in a context where dying is the right move? Some people can only imagine a panicked mind or one in despair or regret or self hatred or some other negative mental state. But those aren't the only options. The burning monk is none of those things but as you put it, he is "dealing with them" in a wayWhat's even more important though I believe, is the wish to want to live at all. We can put up with unbelievable adversity if we have that will to live. If we don't though- the smallest of inconveniences like losing your wallet can push you over the edge because: 'Why should I be alive to put up with all this shit? It's just something else I now have to deal with...'
