The great conundrum of posting

[GoodPersonEffed]

The conundrum: risk the suffering of criticism, or risk the suffering of what it takes to avoid the suffering of criticism.

 

[puppy9]

That's me in a nutshell, and I will stay that way forever.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

That's me in a nutshell, and I will stay that way forever.

Buddy of mine, I'm going to argue that, not to invalidate you, but the statement, because you've already disproven it! If you didn't do nothing, say nothing or be nothing, you wouldn't be my buddy because I wouldn't know you exist.

You helped your mother get free of your grandmother. You took the risks to get the reward of freedom. You couldn't have done that if you said nothing, did nothing, and were nothing.



On a warmly and gently humorous side note, I saw your and felt sad, but then I remembered us talking about and smiled.

 

[262653]

"The best way to avoid conflict is to be somewhere else." That's what I mostly do, but sometimes I feel so agitated that I can't remain silent.

 

[puppy9]

@GoodPersonEffed Yeah that's very true. Thanks for pointing it out buddy. Reading all that made me feel less empty.

Because sometimes I just wanna be invisible from the outside world, and be anything I wanna be without people scrutinizing every aspect of me. My BPD (mostly this) and BP 2 makes it hard to cut people, even strangers from my thoughts. They haunt my brain, and it's terrifying.



(this will haunt you)...

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Your talking about wanting to be invisible and not noticed just made things click.

Spoiler: Spoiler for illusion of invisibilty and non-scrutinization

For a long time, I wasn't sure what to make of you. We didn't engage in a lot of the same threads, I didn't really know you. You'd been here longer than me, and you engaged, but I was only peripherally aware of you. I noticed there were members who mentioned really liking you but I didn't know why, and it wasn't from folks I really connected with, as we all have some we do and some we don't. When you (worked up the nerve? and)* commented on a post on my wall, I took notice. And then I eventually started noticing you more. I think maybe you were branching out and interacting more on the forum, or maybe we both increased our cool factors and started commenting more on the same kinds of threads. I gradually came to the independent conclusion that I think you freaking rock. I've learned things from you, I respect you, you have a great, intelligent sense of humor, and I'm always happy when I see you've commented anywhere, especially when it's on one of my threads. I know about the Rohingya and Mother Teresa because of you! I think that's when you reached my personal wow level.

*that was a joke


Okay, I seriously mean this: if you want me to delete this comment I will. Just give it a wow react and I'll get on it as soon as I see it, and if it's too late, I'll ask a mod to delete it. Even better, drop an emoji on my wall and I'll go back and delete it, too. I suggest that because I don't get notifications of reacts, but I (usually) get notifications of anything on my wall.



Your haunting rivers of tears made me laugh out loud.

 

[XYZ]

I doubt therefore I am.
I think therefore I am.
I am being deceived therefore I am.

I post therefore I am.
Posting is existing on this forum.
If someone creates an account but never posts anything, one could argue they don't exist, since no one is aware of them.



(Unless, if course, they react to other people's posts, in which case they do exist and users become aware of their presence, and my little philosophical exercise makes no sense and I'd be wise to go vent in The Lounge and stay away from threads that are out of my depth.)

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I like to speak my mind, so long as I feel I have sufficient knowledge and understanding of a topic so that I can withstand any criticism. Even so, I hope I'd be open enough to other viewpoints to understand why people may feel differently than I soon a particular subject.

Sometimes, I'd really like to chime in, but I don't, because others have so much more knowledge about it. I'd rather just listen (or "read" would be more accurate, I suppose) and learn.

 

[puppy9]

@GoodPersonEffed I appreciate the love buddy, the feelings are mutual. Thanks for the benign words.

Don't you dare delete the post above or this will be flooding your wall.



*hehe (o￣∇￣)=◯)`ν゜)

 

[262653]

I like to speak my mind, so long as I feel I have sufficient knowledge and understanding of a topic so that I can withstand any criticism.

What if you wouldn't have sufficient knowledge and understanding of a topic yet you'd still speak your mind? Wouldn't it give you room to improve your knowledge and understanding of a topic by reflecting on the recieved criticism?

I can see the potential benefits of getting the position I'm taking on the topic completely destroyed, so that I could build a better one. But I still feel bad when it gets destroyed. I don't know yet for sure if it's the fear of being percieved as ignorant, if it's the emotional attachment to an already established position, or something else.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

What if you wouldn't have sufficient knowledge and understanding of a topic yet you'd still speak your mind? Wouldn't it give you room to improve your knowledge and understanding of a topic by reflecting on the recieved criticism?

I can see the potential benefits of getting the position I'm taking on the topic completely destroyed, so that I could build a better one. But I still feel bad when it gets destroyed. I don't know yet for sure if it's the fear of being percieved as ignorant, if it's the emotional attachment to an already established position, or something else.

That's a really good point. I suppose I'm typically afraid to speak my mind if I don't know enough or if others clearly know more. Perhaps it's a matter of humility, but it's potentially a matter of pride.

I'm certainly open to the idea of having my point destroyed so I can learn more. Case in point: that's pretty much what you just did, and it caused me to reassess my thought process regarding posting.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Hehehe

 

[262653]

I suggest that because I don't get notifications of reacts...

I think this is actually a good idea, and I haven't considered it before. I tend to overreact when recieving reacts, and feel compelled to return the score. Maybe the absence of react alerts would keep me levelheaded, be more at ease with my posts, as well as the reacts I give.