Story "The Freeze"

[Makko]

Tonight I had one of those "the freeze response" dreams, this time armed men were breaking into my house (if my dreams must have me living somewhere it's always on the ground floor, for that extra feeling of unsafety I suppose). The way these dreams go is that first I wake up, then I get "the freeze" and then total clarity sets in.

After reading a bit about it I understand why it's called "freeze". The trigger is an instinctive sensation that a grotesquely painful death is imminent and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I can hear (with my ears) something being forcefully injected into my brain, a mix of adrenaline and this "freeze" chemical that stings the skin just like you're being wholly submerged in ice-cold water. I stop feeling my body, I stop feeling the bedsheets, I stop feeling gravity and I'm totally ready to die. After a few seconds this wears off and I get several hours of hangover and chest tightness.

I get this regularly in all kinds of completely harmless situations, like hearing a bird land on the balcony railing or someone passing too close to me on the street. I don't think I need to comment on the effect this unending terror has on life quality.

Apparently whatever it is that made me like this has never left my body and I carry it with me not only through life but even into my dreams. I'm ready to be struck dead at any moment, even when sleeping. I'm not sure I even want to know more.

 

[OrcWitch]

It is a difficult thing when even sleep gets invaded by feelings of terror. That sounds horrible. My sympathies for your situation

 

[again_noidea]

Tonight I had one of those "the freeze response" dreams, this time armed men were breaking into my house (if my dreams must have me living somewhere it's always on the ground floor, for that extra feeling of unsafety I suppose). The way these dreams go is that first I wake up, then I get "the freeze" and then total clarity sets in.

After reading a bit about it I understand why it's called "freeze". The trigger is an instinctive sensation that a grotesquely painful death is imminent and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I can hear (with my ears) something being forcefully injected into my brain, a mix of adrenaline and this "freeze" chemical that stings the skin just like you're being wholly submerged in ice-cold water. I stop feeling my body, I stop feeling the bedsheets, I stop feeling gravity and I'm totally ready to die. After a few seconds this wears off and I get several hours of hangover and chest tightness.

I get this regularly in all kinds of completely harmless situations, like hearing a bird land on the balcony railing or someone passing too close to me on the street. I don't think I need to comment on the effect this unending terror has on life quality.

Apparently whatever it is that made me like this has never left my body and I carry it with me not only through life but even into my dreams. I'm ready to be struck dead at any moment, even when sleeping. I'm not sure I even want to know more.

do you have any experience with lucid dreaming?

 

[Makko]

do you have any experience with lucid dreaming?

Plenty. The freeze doesn't happen during lucid dreams.

 

[again_noidea]

Plenty. The freeze doesn't happen during lucid dreams.

Very strange. And very interesting. Could it be that it has something to do with sleep paralysis? do you get that feeling also when you are awake?

 

[Makko]

Very strange. And very interesting. Could it be that it has something to do with sleep paralysis? do you get that feeling also when you are awake?

I get sleep paralysis too occasionally, but that's different. The freeze experience is the same regardless if it's triggered by real life or a dream.

When lucid dreaming I have a sense of invincibility which I think stops the freeze from happening. Just a theory.

 

[again_noidea]

I get sleep paralysis too occasionally, but that's different. The freeze experience is the same regardless if it's triggered by real life or a dream.

When lucid dreaming I have a sense of invincibility which I think stops the freeze from happening. Just a theory.

woh, i love being lucid, but it is very hard for me to do. you are very lucky if it comes easy to you, it is such a wholesome and interesting experience.

i know that a lot while chemicals cocktail gets released during sleep, i think especially during REM. Maybe it that release is coupled with a strong stress response, it might fuck with the normal cocktail of chemicals, and you get this freeze as a result. just speculating. The hangover is a little bit concerning.

 

[Makko]

woh, i love being lucid, but it is very hard for me to do. you are very lucky if it comes easy to you, it is such a wholesome and interesting experience.

i know that a lot while chemicals cocktail gets released during sleep, i think especially during REM. Maybe it that release is coupled with a strong stress response, it might fuck with the normal cocktail of chemicals, and you get this freeze as a result. just speculating. The hangover is a little bit concerning.

The hangover is probably more about the adrenaline comedown but I've read that the "freezing" substance is made of opioids. My body is basically a self-supplying opium junkie.

 

[again_noidea]

The hangover is probably more about the adrenaline comedown but I've read that the "freezing" substance is made of opioids. My body is basically a self-supplying opium junkie.

believe me, obium does not feel cold, it feels warm and fuzzy and cozy.

 

[Makko]

believe me, obium does not feel cold, it feels warm and fuzzy and cozy.

Then it must be ice cream.

 

[Pure]

I get this regularly in all kinds of completely harmless situations, like hearing a bird land on the balcony railing or someone passing too close to me on the street. I don't think I need to comment on the effect this unending terror has on life quality

Sounds like c-ptsd to be honest. Your childhood sounds ripe for something like that or you had a very very serious trauma you've completely forgotten. Have you done some sort of hypnosis?

I wish I could lucid dream. My dreams are nightmares full of terror.

 

[Makko]

Sounds like c-ptsd to be honest. Your childhood sounds ripe for something like that or you had a very very serious trauma you've completely forgotten. Have you done some sort of hypnosis?

I wish I could lucid dream. My dreams are nightmares full of terror.

I've never shared this with anyone so I haven't done anything. While I did have controlling and heavy-handed parents I don't think it explains this degree of symptoms. Something must have happened and I'm not sure I want to know what.

There are some techniques to achieve lucid dreaming, have you researched it?

 

[Pure]

There are some techniques to achieve lucid dreaming, have you researched it?

I have but I don't think I'm that interested. I've had such vivid dreams for years at this point I just want to have an empty night of sleep.

 

[motel rooms]

I get this regularly in all kinds of completely harmless situations, like hearing a bird land on the balcony railing or someone passing too close to me on the street. I don't think I need to comment on the effect this unending terror has on life quality.

Apparently whatever it is that made me like this has never left my body and I carry it with me not only through life but even into my dreams. I'm ready to be struck dead at any moment, even when sleeping. I'm not sure I even want to know more.

I've never shared this with anyone so I haven't done anything. While I did have controlling and heavy-handed parents I don't think it explains this degree of symptoms. Something must have happened and I'm not sure I want to know what.

I think not knowing what happened is worse. You're already familiar with unending terror...

 

[Makko]

I think not knowing what happened is worse. You're already familiar with unending terror...

The problem is that the standard procedure for this is going to quacks and letting them rummage around in my soul. For reference, I feel discomfort enough just from letting a hairdresser touch my hair. I doubt I'll be able to overcome this. I may yet have sudden personal epiphanies or have memories resurface on their own. It's happened before and I'm sure it'll happen again when I least expect it. There's a whole inner universe left to unpack and I'll die long before I can unpack it all. This is in contrast to you who has a fairly clear understanding of what's happening to you, though that can also be because you're older and have had more time to arrive at insights.

 

[motel rooms]

The problem is that the standard procedure for this is going to quacks and letting them rummage around in my soul. For reference, I feel discomfort enough just from letting a hairdresser touch my hair. I doubt I'll be able to overcome this. I may yet have sudden personal epiphanies or have memories resurface on their own. It's happened before and I'm sure it'll happen again when I least expect it. There's a whole inner universe left to unpack and I'll die long before I can unpack it all. This is in contrast to you who has a fairly clear understanding of what's happening to you, though that can also be because you're older and have had more time to arrive at insights.

I probably wouldn't be able to function at all if I didn't know who my enemy was. Sometimes it helps to scream, "No, you didn't kill me or turn me into a monster! I'm stronger & better than you!"

 

[ItsTimeToExit]

@Makko, I've always found your once-off quips amusing eg: "Formidable ninja technique"

Do you think that a guided tour with psychedelics could help you confront your "demons"?

 

[Makko]

So is this how it works? Can't say I've ever experienced the green stuff. Also I didn't know about the immune response thing. So that's why I get colds 6 times per year?

I probably wouldn't be able to function at all if I didn't know who my enemy was. Sometimes it helps to scream, "No, you didn't kill me or turn me into a monster! I'm stronger & better than you!"

True, it would be better to have something defined to direct the hostility at, rather than directing it at random substitutes.

Do you think that a guided tour with psychedelics could help you confront your "demons"?

It's one of the few "treatments" I'm interesed in. I think it would interact well with my imagination.