Question also addressed to @Abyssal : Why do they drop you? At least where I live, I would expect that if any action is taken at all, it would be in the form of reporting your suicidal intentions, as being an immediate danger to yourself is legitimate cause for breaking patient-therapist confidentiality laws.
Sure. It was stupid of me and ultimately my own fault in the end, should've known better, but I'm naive so go easy on me.
I felt like I could trust her after a few months of meeting, and everytime I filled out the chart at the beginning of the meetings I was honest in how I was feeling suicidal, but it wasn't until I had a plan that I felt a need to speak about it with her. Then again, she always kinda blew off my ideation because I never knew what a direct cause was, so we talked about stuff more easily fixable. When I finally had a plan not only was it genuinely scary, but I also felt I was finally suicidal enough to seek help. So I told her my plan: night night. "Well we can't send you to inpatient because they won't accept you" is all she said and we went on with the meeting. I didn't feel like I did anything wrong, she was kind. Got a call next day, woke up to it actually, that after a talk with her boss they both agreed I needed a more intensive form of treatment as in outpatient. Doesn't sound so bad until I realized not only was this goodbye but also that I cannot afford outpatient.
It's my own fault but it still hurts like hell. I really thought of her as a friend and thought I was getting better.
