Merge
New Member
- Nov 5, 2024
- 1
I recently started talking to my first gf again. I met her in the beginning of the year. I never really liked talking to girls or anything like that before I met her, I had enough to do with family, going out with friends and hobbies etc and honestly I was too scared to ask someone out. In the beginning it was nice but after a few weeks I noticed she didn't like me like I did. She never asked to hang out her or introduce me to anything in her life not even her friends. She didn't make time for me and almost never made me feel loved. We kept meeting for a few months till I couldn't do it anymore. My life felt like torture at that point, but still I loved her. After 3 attempts I finally broke up with her. I went completely No-Contact with her.
Now a few weeks ago she accidentally called me and I didn't have her number saved anymore so I called back. We talked for a bit. Generally I'm pretty bad at hating people, despite them doing me wrong. She texted me after and we talked for a bit, she told me how she changed etc. It kinda felt like she wanted to get back together, which I didn't know what I'd do if she asked to meet again, since being together was really not pleasant for me. Now I've been going through a though time the last week's and I just wanted to talk to someone who doesn't really know how my life has been in recent times. I called her and we talked and she asked me if I'm seeing someone and I said no. She said she's seeing a friend of hers now. She told me how it's so different with him and that she changed for him. And she did everything, I had to beg her for and she still didn't do, for him. I honestly was happy for her despite of course feeling hurt that I wasn't that person. She told me how she'd like to be friends still and that she's so sorry for everything she did and didn't do back then. She said I shouldn't worry about finding someone because she knows I'm great person. How she thought something was wrong with her for months, because she couldn't care for me like I did for her.
Then she said the thing that really bit me. She told me back then she already saw me more as a friend. I can't explain it but despite everything I thought she loved me in her twisted way. Although I often felt like she couldn't give a fuck about me, I believed she loved me. She was the first and probably only person I loved that way and to hear that she didn't feel that just made me feel odd. I just don't know how I feel about it. I know it's stupid because of all the horrible things that are happening in my life, but I can't forget it.
Now a few weeks ago she accidentally called me and I didn't have her number saved anymore so I called back. We talked for a bit. Generally I'm pretty bad at hating people, despite them doing me wrong. She texted me after and we talked for a bit, she told me how she changed etc. It kinda felt like she wanted to get back together, which I didn't know what I'd do if she asked to meet again, since being together was really not pleasant for me. Now I've been going through a though time the last week's and I just wanted to talk to someone who doesn't really know how my life has been in recent times. I called her and we talked and she asked me if I'm seeing someone and I said no. She said she's seeing a friend of hers now. She told me how it's so different with him and that she changed for him. And she did everything, I had to beg her for and she still didn't do, for him. I honestly was happy for her despite of course feeling hurt that I wasn't that person. She told me how she'd like to be friends still and that she's so sorry for everything she did and didn't do back then. She said I shouldn't worry about finding someone because she knows I'm great person. How she thought something was wrong with her for months, because she couldn't care for me like I did for her.
Then she said the thing that really bit me. She told me back then she already saw me more as a friend. I can't explain it but despite everything I thought she loved me in her twisted way. Although I often felt like she couldn't give a fuck about me, I believed she loved me. She was the first and probably only person I loved that way and to hear that she didn't feel that just made me feel odd. I just don't know how I feel about it. I know it's stupid because of all the horrible things that are happening in my life, but I can't forget it.
