lavenderlilylies

lavenderlilylies

Member
Sep 24, 2024
61
is bringing a new soul into this world inherently immoral?
This world is undeniably cruel, the future is unpredictable, and to a certain degree, suffering is inevitable. But nothing is a constant, many people live content and mostly happy lives. While knowing both paths are possible, a mostly happy and a mostly miserable existence, is birthing a new life a moral act?
You could "do everything right", but as a parent, while your negative actions create a dent in your child's life, your positive ones don't hold an equal weight. There are just too many things that are completely out of your hands that could go wrong. So even if you truly put everything into raising that child, and in isolation do an excellent job, something out of your control might still cause them to live a mostly miserable life. In that case, do you share the blame for giving birth to them? They wouldn't suffer if they weren't alive after all.
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Angelic
Jul 29, 2021
4,718
When you bring a child into the world, you expose them to the risk of living a life not worth living. We can characterise such a life as more common than one might think (lot's of depressed people), and likely enough to procure as to warrant a moral duty being placed on abstaining from procreation. We can consider such a life as rife with suffering in the form of poor mental health, serious disability, loneliness, physical pain, debilitating stress, hardship, etc. These are outcomes that parents cannot fully guard against with certainty, and therefore procreation is wrong, since it exposes an individual to these risks.
The second part of my view is that not bringing a child into the world isn't a harm. You're not depriving anyone of anything when you don't procreate, it's not as if some unborn entity is harmed or wronged, they simply do not exist.
I don't believe prospective parents often consider the full range of implications involved in creating another person and often do it for purely selfish reasons.
Since it is absurd to suggest that a person can exist before it is conceived, it is also absurd to suggest that by not conceiving this hypothetical person you are in some way depriving 'it' of life, and of all the potential happiness that life may entail.
Since happiness is not guaranteed, and that a certain amount of suffering necessarily is - bringing into life a new person is imposing suffering onto another being and is therefore immoral.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,821
I suppose the counter argument will be that (debatably,) the majority of people (debatably) don't end up as unhappy as we do. Sometimes, I have this fantasy of someone posting a survey on regular social media- to capture as many 'normie' results as possible: 'If you were able to choose, would you have been born?' I still imagine the predominant answer would be 'yes'. I doubt the poll would be up for long either!

But, the other way to look at it is: Is any suffering acceptable? Obviously people think it is. They know for a fact their child will die at some stage. Probably watch them die too. They also know they'll have to work for a living- unless they are massively rich to be able to support them their entire life. So- maybe that isn't such a good question!

They presumably are confident that their good times will outweigh the bad. That the chance to experience the nicer things in life will superseed the (sometimes inevitable) unpleasant things.

Still- you do have to wonder if parents think it through. Maybe the obvious stuff they do. What if my child has disabilities or health problems? I get the impression their answer to most things is- We'll get through it together with love. Like love will solve everything and, they'll always be able to be there for them. It does seem kind of strange to me.

Maybe it seems strange to us more though because some of us have had childhoods or lives where it so badly went to shit! So, it's hard to conceive of a life where that couldn't happen. (Which I suppose is the argument really- it can in fact happen to anyone.)

I suppose personally, I think it would be absolutely immoral/ irresponsible bordering cruel for me to have children. For others though, it's tricky. I have friends with children. Most of them seem ok so far- thankfully.

I can't help but think it's morally questionable though. Mostly because I think parents have children predominantly to fulfil their own needs. The massive biological drive to reproduce. The desire to experience that kind of love and dependence on them. The wish to try to imortalise their partner sometimes. I know people who weren't so narcissistic that they saw it as duplicating themselves but, they wanted a bit of their partner replicated to outlive them. All of those drives are predominantly selfish. I just wish they thought harder that to attain that, they are spawning a sentient independent creature into this and it's very possible they could suffer.
 
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dust-in-the-wind

dust-in-the-wind

Animal Lover
Aug 24, 2024
246
I'm a 55f who consciously chose not to have children. Life is not worth the suffering.
 
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lavenderlilylies

lavenderlilylies

Member
Sep 24, 2024
61
I suppose the counter argument will be that (debatably,) the majority of people (debatably) don't end up as unhappy as we do. Sometimes, I have this fantasy of someone posting a survey on regular social media- to capture as many 'normie' results as possible: 'If you were able to choose, would you have been born?' I still imagine the predominant answer would be 'yes'. I doubt the poll would be up for long either!

But, the other way to look at it is: Is any suffering acceptable? Obviously people think it is. They know for a fact their child will die at some stage. Probably watch them die too. They also know they'll have to work for a living- unless they are massively rich to be able to support them their entire life. So- maybe that isn't such a good question!

They presumably are confident that their good times will outweigh the bad. That the chance to experience the nicer things in life will superseed the (sometimes inevitable) unpleasant things.

Still- you do have to wonder if parents think it through. Maybe the obvious stuff they do. What if my child has disabilities or health problems? I get the impression their answer to most things is- We'll get through it together with love. Like love will solve everything and, they'll always be able to be there for them. It does seem kind of strange to me.

Maybe it seems strange to us more though because some of us have had childhoods or lives where it so badly went to shit! So, it's hard to conceive of a life where that couldn't happen. (Which I suppose is the argument really- it can in fact happen to anyone.)

I suppose personally, I think it would be absolutely immoral/ irresponsible bordering cruel for me to have children. For others though, it's tricky. I have friends with children. Most of them seem ok so far- thankfully.

I can't help but think it's morally questionable though. Mostly because I think parents have children predominantly to fulfil their own needs. The massive biological drive to reproduce. The desire to experience that kind of love and dependence on them. The wish to try to imortalise their partner sometimes. I know people who weren't so narcissistic that they saw it as duplicating themselves but, they wanted a bit of their partner replicated to outlive them. All of those drives are predominantly selfish. I just wish they thought harder that to attain that, they are spawning a sentient independent creature into this and it's very possible they could suffer.
It's an interesting perspective. I remember coming across someone online who was so harshly against it, she ended up having a daughter, she said "when i left the place i was in and wasn't as depressed anymore, i found myself with much love i wanted to give to my offspring". I sometimes wonder if I'm too blinded with my own sadness to see it clearly.
 
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LostLily

LostLily

Why do I exist?
Nov 18, 2024
185
That
is bringing a new soul into this world inherently immoral?
This world is undeniably cruel, the future is unpredictable, and to a certain degree, suffering is inevitable. But nothing is a constant, many people live content and mostly happy lives. While knowing both paths are possible, a mostly happy and a mostly miserable existence, is birthing a new life a moral act?
You could "do everything right", but as a parent, while your negative actions create a dent in your child's life, your positive ones don't hold an equal weight. There are just too many things that are completely out of your hands that could go wrong. So even if you truly put everything into raising that child, and in isolation do an excellent job, something out of your control might still cause them to live a mostly miserable life. In that case, do you share the blame for giving birth to them? They wouldn't suffer if they weren't alive after all.
That is why I choose not to have children, that and I might be around to raise them
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2024
3,266
Yes, most people live content lives but everyones life can become miserable and full of suffering at any time. I never wanted to pass my depression gene to a kid
 
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true-ending

true-ending

had we met under better circumstances...
Mar 27, 2023
31
i don't think bringing life into the world is immoral. at the end of the day almost all of us are very sick and/or very unlucky people- that's why the right to die specifically is so important to me. life is a beautiful gift that my body wasn't made to handle- i've been happy before, i'm just too sick to feel it again. but i remember that it was very very beautiful, and i would give anything for somebody else to feel it again. i think the world would be better without suffering, but when you feel a fleeting moment of joy it matters very little what amount of suffering you have experienced. if i had the slimmest chance of feeling it again, i would stay alive. i don't, but a lot of people do. all i hope for in the world is that when their chances finally run out, when they tire of the gamble, they can rest. that's what i want most: if i ever had a child, i would want for them to live, but most of all i would want for them to be able to rest when they simply couldn't handle it any longer
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,168
In my opinion, yes, it is and I believe that antinatalism holds a lot of weight and truth to it. Sure, I do acknowledge that most people are content enough with life to want to prolong their life (I don't believe that they are as happy as they claim to be though) but that has nothing against antinatalism as a non existent being has no need for existence. It isn't like a non existent being is craving to be born or feeling regret at the opportunity of not having been born to experience all of this happiness. However, once you do bring a being into existence, you risk the chance of them potentially living such a miserable life to where they want to kill themselves and, once again, there is no reason to bring these beings into existence as they do not crave or need it. There is no reason to have a child that is for the child's sake.

Reproduction is immoral because you are imposing risk upon a person that will come into existence. Ultimately, they will suffer in life and subsequently die a horrible death because you brought them into existence in the first place (sure, you may not have directly caused these things but you are the root cause of it all)
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,868
I personally find it so terrible and dreadful how I had to suffer in this existence at all, there were never any disadvantages to never suffering at all yet no limit as to how much agony one can feel in this existence that I always saw as so futile anyway. To me existence is the most torturous, harmful imposition that causes problems there was never a need for and endless amounts of suffering all for the sake of it, I just don't see value in being conscious in this existence at all.

Simply just existing is a deeply undesirable burden to me and I suffer so much from this existence being imposed, more than anything I wish I was never forced into this existence. To me human existence is an abomination that just causes pointless suffering just for one to be tortured by old age and what is so horrific is how there's the absence of the option to just painlessly die in peace for me to finally escape from it all, existence could never be worth it for me, it brings me so much pain to be enslaved in this existence forced to suffer.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,821
It's an interesting perspective. I remember coming across someone online who was so harshly against it, she ended up having a daughter, she said "when i left the place i was in and wasn't as depressed anymore, i found myself with much love i wanted to give to my offspring". I sometimes wonder if I'm too blinded with my own sadness to see it clearly.

Definitely, I mean I can imagine it. When my friend had a child, I could completely understand how incredible that must be. How much love and protectiveness you must feel towards them. I've got to admit that, if I'd been younger, more attractive and found a partner who really wanted children- who knows?

I'm only so glad it didn't happen though. I couldn't bear to see them unhappy. Even to experience a fraction of the sadness I've felt in life. The guilt of seeing that. Knowing that it was likely my genes and the upbringing I'd given them that contributed to that would tear me apart. Plus- what if they saw me this unhappy? What would that do to them?

I try not to reveal everything to my Dad but it's obvious how much I'm struggling in life. He's even said 'sorry' on occasions. Maybe for bringing me into this. Maybe for some of the choices he made that affected me.

It's weird isn't it really? My friend said they're grateful everyday for their child. Which is beautiful- obviously and I hope with my whole being they get to live a happy life. I'm grateful for the opposite- that I didn't bring a child here. I think it would have ended badly for the both of us.
 
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senti-mental

senti-mental

Student
Sep 15, 2019
115
It's not immoral. I didn't ask to be born, I also didn't ask to not be born. I didn't exist yet. Now, being a shitty parent is immortal. and when a person decides they don't want to be around anymore and people disrespect that right they should have, that's also immoral. but antinatalism is extreme and leaves no room for nuance.
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Angelic
Jul 29, 2021
4,718
i don't think bringing life into the world is immoral
The brutality of the animal kingdom raises challenging questions about nature itself. In the natural world, suffering seems to be woven into the fabric of life: animals endure painful deaths, predation, diseases, and even behaviors that could be seen as cruel, like infants being abandoned or killed by their own species.
Animals don't make moral choices—they follow instincts that have evolved over time, leading to behaviors that are often violent and unrelenting. For them, there's no apparent reward or higher purpose to justify this suffering. These instincts aren't about choice but survival in a system where pain and struggle are inevitable.
life is a beautiful gift
Life is a gift
First of all, a gift for whom? After all, you can't give something to someone who doesn't exist. It's not that there was someone who really wanted to exist and their parents decided to grant them existence; there was no one before people decided that there would be someone, someone who didn't want, ask, or would have been disappointed if they hadn't received, the "gift" of existence. So if anything it is a gift to the parents, or to the parents of the parents who pushed for grandchildren, or to the consumer society that got another consumer, or to the state because there is another tax payer, or to the army because there is another soldier, etc. But it is certainly not a gift for those who did not exist before receiving it. Regardless of someone's quality of life, before someone existed they did not want it and therefore the created is the last to receive a gift.
Since it is not necessary, not desirable, and not in anyone's interest to exist, and since the creation of a person does not move someone to a better state, since before someone existed s/he was not in any state, there is no logic in treating the creation of a person as some kind of benefit. Reproduction is not a gift but an unnecessary creation of a vulnerable person who will inevitably experience unnecessary harms.
Beyond that, gifts are something you get for free, not something you have to work for, and for almost a lifetime.
Something is not a gift if I cannot choose not to use it. And in the case of life, keeping it in a drawer or passing it on to someone else is not an option. Everyone has to use their life in one way or another. There is no exchange note. Even ending one's life, even at a very young age, requires the use of this "gift". Which of course makes it at least not a gift. So even if you insist that life is a good thing, it is certainly not a gift and it is not granted to anyone. People are created, if their lives are relatively good then the compulsion done to them is less bad than cases of bad lives, but that does not retroactively make this compulsion a gift or something that is granted to someone.
A gift you receive for free, and you can choose to enjoy it or ignore it, but it is unlikely that gifts will harm the person who receives them. Life, on the other hand, is not something you get for free, you have to work hard for it non-stop, you can't ignore life, and it can definitely hurt those who receive it. To enjoy a gift you usually just have to use it. To enjoy life you have to work hard. And unlike gifts, if you ignore life very quickly you suffer from hunger, thirst, pain, heat, cold, boredom, frustration, loneliness, etc. It is not possible to store life somewhere and ignore it. Therefore, even if you insist that life is good, it is surely not a gift.
A gift is not something that is forced. Gifts can be returned or passed up. And gifts usually don't end in death.



Seen by 2
at the end of the day almost all of us are very sick and/or very unlucky people
The Inevitability of Suffering and Pain
Suffering is an inescapable part of life, beginning from the moment of birth. The very act of being born is a traumatic experience, where a baby, previously sheltered in the womb, is thrust into a world filled with discomfort. Hunger and thirst, basic biological needs, are immediate sources of suffering. A newborn's first cries are often cries of hunger, a primal need that will continue to dictate much of life. Throughout life, the struggle to satisfy hunger and thirst remains a constant challenge, especially in areas where food and clean water are scarce. Even in more privileged circumstances, the human body is never free from the demands of these basic needs, which must be continually met to stave off discomfort and death.
Beyond the pain of hunger and thirst, the human experience is marked by the relentless battle against the elements. Heat and cold, two extremes that nature imposes, are constant sources of suffering. From the freezing chill of winter to the scorching heat of summer, the human body is vulnerable to the whims of the environment. For much of human history, securing adequate shelter to protect against these extremes has been a primary concern. The search for a stable, safe place to live—whether a cave, a hut, or a modern home—reflects the ongoing struggle to find refuge from the harshness of the natural world. Even in modern times, millions of people face inadequate shelter, leading to exposure, illness, and further suffering. The need for warmth in winter and coolness in summer can dominate one's existence, especially in areas where resources are limited and climate extremes are severe.
Compounding these challenges is the necessity of work, a relentless obligation that dominates much of human life. The need to work to pay for food, water, shelter, and other basic necessities is a significant source of suffering. For many, work is not a pursuit of passion but a means of survival, often fraught with stress, long hours, and physical or mental exhaustion. The pressure to earn enough to meet these basic needs can lead to a life of perpetual toil, with little respite. Even those in more comfortable circumstances are not free from the anxieties and pressures of work, which can erode personal well-being and lead to burnout. The burden of work, therefore, adds another layer to the human experience of suffering, as individuals are forced to trade their time and energy for the necessities of life.
The complexities of sex and reproduction add yet another dimension to human suffering. While sex can be a source of pleasure, it is also a source of pain and turmoil. The drive for sexual fulfillment can lead to emotional suffering, unrequited desires, and unhealthy relationships. For many, sex is not just about pleasure but is also tied to the responsibilities and challenges of reproduction. Pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting are often fraught with physical pain, emotional strain, and psychological stress. The process of bringing new life into the world is itself a reminder of the inescapable cycle of suffering, as each new generation is born into a world where pain and struggle are inevitable.
Moreover, as individuals age, they encounter the physical pain associated with illness, injury, and the natural deterioration of the body. Emotional suffering, too, is a constant companion, stemming from broken relationships, unfulfilled desires, and the loss of loved ones. Psychological pain, such as anxiety, depression, and existential angst, can make even the most mundane aspects of life seem unbearable. Despite efforts to avoid or minimize pain, it remains an intrinsic part of the human condition. The struggle to find and maintain shelter, protect oneself from the extremes of heat and cold, work to pay for basic necessities, and cope with the inevitable decline of the body all contribute to the overarching narrative that life is more about enduring suffering than experiencing happiness.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,154
I've never seen the movie Idiocracy but apparently in that movie, all of the smart people stop breeding leading the remaining future generations to all be complete idiots that mess everything up. Now a lot of people like to say that we're already living in that world or that we're very close to it but if that's the case why aren't they more accepting of the only way to prevent that future which is to lead things to a world where only the smart people are reproducing and not the dumb ones. I guess the problem lies in the fact that almost everyone thinks they're smarter than they really are and even the people who are actually smart will obviously see that not having children is more likely to be the better choice for both ethical and selfish reasons.

Reproduction on an individual level can probably be safely avoided but I guess on a larger scale I suppose it can be argued that some people do have a duty to create more taxpayers and workers if we want this system to stay afloat. Then again, a lot of us really don't want to see the current state of things prolonged so maybe it really is better if everyone stops reproducing for a while but then if that were to happen I feel like the people who choose to ignore that would be the annoying types to make things worse for everybody else anyway…

In short, idk. I still can't even decide if I want kids or not myself but then again I probably shouldn't anyway. At least I'm so horrible and disgusting and evil that I'll never even get that far anyway.
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Angelic
Jul 29, 2021
4,718
life is a beautiful gift
Unavoidable Suffering
Life is full of suffering, from physical pain and illness to emotional struggles like heartbreak, loss, and existential dread. For many, these hardships outweigh the fleeting moments of happiness.

Lack of Consent
People are born without consent, meaning no one chooses to exist or agrees to face the potential suffering life brings. This raises questions about whether life can truly be called a "gift."

Inequality and Injustice
Billions of people face extreme poverty, violence, and systemic injustices. For those born into severe disadvantage, life might feel more like a burden than a gift.

Impermanence of Joy
Positive experiences in life are often transient, while pain can leave lasting scars. This asymmetry makes some question the value of life's "gift."

The Burden of Existence
Life requires constant effort to meet needs—food, shelter, companionship, and meaning. The relentless pursuit of survival and fulfillment can feel like an imposition.

Fear of Death and the Unknown
Even if life has its moments of beauty, the inevitability of death and the uncertainty surrounding it can cast a shadow over the experience of living.

Perspective Matters
The idea that life is a gift is subjective. For someone suffering from chronic pain, depression, or trauma, life may feel more like a curse than a blessing.
 
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davidtorez

davidtorez

Mage
Mar 8, 2024
543
If children were brought into the world by an act of pure reason alone, would the human race continue to exist? Would not a man rather have so much sympathy with the coming generation as to spare it the burden of existence? Arthur schopenhauer
 
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true-ending

true-ending

had we met under better circumstances...
Mar 27, 2023
31
Unavoidable Suffering
Life is full of suffering, from physical pain and illness to emotional struggles like heartbreak, loss, and existential dread. For many, these hardships outweigh the fleeting moments of happiness.

Lack of Consent
People are born without consent, meaning no one chooses to exist or agrees to face the potential suffering life brings. This raises questions about whether life can truly be called a "gift."

Inequality and Injustice
Billions of people face extreme poverty, violence, and systemic injustices. For those born into severe disadvantage, life might feel more like a burden than a gift.

Impermanence of Joy
Positive experiences in life are often transient, while pain can leave lasting scars. This asymmetry makes some question the value of life's "gift."

The Burden of Existence
Life requires constant effort to meet needs—food, shelter, companionship, and meaning. The relentless pursuit of survival and fulfillment can feel like an imposition.

Fear of Death and the Unknown
Even if life has its moments of beauty, the inevitability of death and the uncertainty surrounding it can cast a shadow over the experience of living.

Perspective Matters
The idea that life is a gift is subjective. For someone suffering from chronic pain, depression, or trauma, life may feel more like a curse than a blessing.
.... i have chronic pain, depression, and severe trauma. the fear of the inevitability of death is driven by our heavily anti-suicide, pro-life culture, even when they know it would be better for someone to die. I'm not interested in debating you considering this response was made by Chatgpt though, sorry. (Apologies if it *wasn't* written by chatgpt, but it does ring the same bell most ai writing does for me, especially with the formatting).
The brutality of the animal kingdom raises challenging questions about nature itself. In the natural world, suffering seems to be woven into the fabric of life: animals endure painful deaths, predation, diseases, and even behaviors that could be seen as cruel, like infants being abandoned or killed by their own species.
Animals don't make moral choices—they follow instincts that have evolved over time, leading to behaviors that are often violent and unrelenting. For them, there's no apparent reward or higher purpose to justify this suffering. These instincts aren't about choice but survival in a system where pain and struggle are inevitable.

Life is a gift
First of all, a gift for whom? [Cont...]
These are all points I was explicitly stressing with my "right to die" point! I think people who cannot handle it should have the right to die, but should have the *chance* to live, because life- when not bogged down by horrendous circumstances and mental illness and trauma- is, to most (or in better words 'many'), beautiful. I'm not interested in continuing this debate because it's clear that we disagree and nothing can change that- that's fine, and i understand your opinion entirely, even if ours are different. ^^
 
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ForgottenAgain

ForgottenAgain

On the rollercoaster of sadness
Oct 17, 2023
984
I don't consider reproduction immoral. I do consider immoral to reproduce without carefully considering the circumstances - people who have kids when they don't have the financial means for, people who only have kids for selfish reasons, etc.

I don't think a lot of us can argue the complex topic of "should new people be born" accurately due to the fact that a lot of people are, rightly so, blinded by their own suffering so much that they can't see life as worth living for anyone. The same way that people who haven't experienced a lot of suffering are blinded by their own happiness and can't see a reality where life could not be worth living.

I don't think I can see the picture clearly either. I remember I was very happy once, so long ago, if I had been asked this question then I'd say that life has so much good to give, that it is worth it. At my worst I would say it isn't, too much suffering. Now, I don't know if living is that worth it, there are too many variables that I don't know the value of and so I can't answer it. If I am given a set of constants: for this couple, living with these financial conditions and these health conditions etc, is it worth for the unborn child to be born? I think that would be easier to answer.

Currently in my life, I'm trying to go through that strategy instead of thinking in such a broad manner. I don't think a general answer is really plausible, there's too many things that could go either way. If I was some all powerful being, I'd be afraid that such generic answer would prevent great lifes from happening because I said life isn't worth bring born for, or on the other hand, cause a lot of suffering for the lives that were born with different circumstances just because I said life is worth being born for always.
 
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