Yes, the only possible reasons for me not to would be my family and dog. But i am not enjoying any second on this earth anymore
So my suffering of living, is too big of a burden for myself to continue
.
First, I must say that this situation was not due to NO person and that NO person could have avoided this, nor to any outside situation. Having said that, I'm going to tell you a little bit about my story.
Everyone knew me before May 2020, everything was going well, even with the coronavirus, my friends and my family know that I well played with this situation. I had an excellent life, the best parents in the world, the best brother, and the best friends. I've had a really good life, so nobody cares about that. I've been super happy since I was a kid, addicted to PCs, until I was an adult. I traveled, dated, celebrated, played, had fun, and that's all that matters. Everyone who knows me knows that I've always been motivated, immensely motivated with the desire to follow my dreams, always with plans for what I wanted to do.I have certainly not been able to achieve them, but it is not a question of achieving them, but of the journey there, and I cannot complain about that aspect. I've had a journey that I'm proud of, and I enjoyed going through it.
Now the black part, in May 2020, I had 4 weeks of gastrointestinal problems (constant diarrhea), and I knew something was wrong. I went to the hospital, and it didn't do any good, they considered it just viral gastroenteritis. Yes, that same virus must persist even today, because the neurological and cognitive damage it caused me was too great for me to bear. I was misunderstood by the doctors from the beginning, it's only proof that medicine has a lot to go on yet.
Even with my blood parameters showing some possible infection, nothing has been found in particular, although I am very sure that this is still present in me.To give you a little idea, from waking up to bed with my head on wheels, my vision had problems, my heart started not to tolerate sport, I couldn't think as it should be, it's like a prison in my own body. I don't wish anyone, this feeling that was swarmed every second of my life, my only rest was in sleep.
But the worst part, by far, was the distance I had to force from my friends and my big family, I couldn't show such emotion was my pain. It's a piece of shit. I couldn't really live like this, whatever life is, I'm glad to at least have a way out I can count on. I don't expect everyone to understand, and I know that many will judge me, as weak or cowardly to the family, but between living every second of this life, or putting an end to it, I'd rather put an end to it. It's the best destination for me, and I know I'm going to let go of some pain in some people and my family, but just know that I'm happy, I'm really glad I can finally put an end to this disease.
My life on this earth may have come to an end, but I leave my memories to you. No one can take me away. I'm going to go to another dimension, where I'm finally at peace. Remind me how the person I was before this last year and a half, that's my last request. If I've never expressed myself to everyone who sent this letter, it's because I love you."
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live." -Norman Cousins
If I dont log in in a few days, cross my account mods. I am going to drink it now.
Goodbye guysx , love all of you
