JustAnotherSuicider
Hoping for the best - expecting the worst
- Dec 28, 2019
- 98
So this is it I guess.
Long awaited day. Long waited moment.
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die."
So I think that I'm finally ready, after almost 8 moths of planning. Sitting here, with SN before me, and with music in my ears. I'm ready.
I took just painkillers, and that's all. I don't have anything else beside SN itself. Hope it will work. I will use ice to numb my tongue before tho, and mint after drinking.
I've been struggling with my depression and suicidal thoughts for 5 years now. Few months ago I though that this fight is finally over, that I will be happy, a last. I was thinking that I find my true love, my soulmate. But I was deceived. I was betrayed. I was treated like some worthless trash. I was left alone, once again, on my own. I love her so much. I miss her so much. So of you will think that it's not a good reason to end one's life. So what is the good reason then? Why should I keep on living when I can't be with someone whom I love? When I won't feel that feeling of being loved be someone else ever again? When I can't think about anything else? What ever I'm doing, whenever I am, I can think only about her. I see her before my eyes when I'm awake, she haunts me in my dreams. I can't live without her.
You can never be happy in life. Things can get only worse. And they will for sure. "Hoping for the best - but expecting the worst". I can't life without her. I just can't. I'm too weak on my own.
I will drink my SN in a moment, and I will try to stay here 'til I pass out.
I hope that everything will go as planed and I won't have to write another post about how I failed...
"I regret to annouce - this is The End. I'm going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell. Goodbye."
Long awaited day. Long waited moment.
"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die."
So I think that I'm finally ready, after almost 8 moths of planning. Sitting here, with SN before me, and with music in my ears. I'm ready.
I took just painkillers, and that's all. I don't have anything else beside SN itself. Hope it will work. I will use ice to numb my tongue before tho, and mint after drinking.
I've been struggling with my depression and suicidal thoughts for 5 years now. Few months ago I though that this fight is finally over, that I will be happy, a last. I was thinking that I find my true love, my soulmate. But I was deceived. I was betrayed. I was treated like some worthless trash. I was left alone, once again, on my own. I love her so much. I miss her so much. So of you will think that it's not a good reason to end one's life. So what is the good reason then? Why should I keep on living when I can't be with someone whom I love? When I won't feel that feeling of being loved be someone else ever again? When I can't think about anything else? What ever I'm doing, whenever I am, I can think only about her. I see her before my eyes when I'm awake, she haunts me in my dreams. I can't live without her.
You can never be happy in life. Things can get only worse. And they will for sure. "Hoping for the best - but expecting the worst". I can't life without her. I just can't. I'm too weak on my own.
I will drink my SN in a moment, and I will try to stay here 'til I pass out.
I hope that everything will go as planed and I won't have to write another post about how I failed...
"I regret to annouce - this is The End. I'm going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell. Goodbye."
