The emptiness is unbearable

[hellispink]

This empty void kills me every night
Its like a knife making its way through my hearr
i feel so much anguish, so much pain
I dont even know why anymore, even my bones call for pain. I am so exhausted but there is no day I am not, all my days are sad but some are worst. Sometimes I feel so empty that I can't even describe how I feel, so empty that I want to destroy myself hit the walls, scream… just feel something, that reminds me i am nor already death in this miserable existence. This is what hell looks like, it is such the agony through my veins i can barely explain. Air feels heavier, words feel tighter, i feel like carrying a big luggage with regrets inside of me . This eats me alive, I write it because i pretend it helps that it won't eat me completely tonight. If i had a gun i wish i could put the trigger on days like tonight, i am so tired of being me where is the switch, to turn this shit off

 

[Nirrend]

Hi sweet @hellispink

First of all I am very sorry to read all the distress you are showing us here.

When it comes to sadness, suicide, things are always delicate and we see how we always manage to understand each other about our deep wounds and sadness.

I understand and people will totally understand what you describe, this feeling of emptiness so intense that it feels like the ground is collapsing under our feet, this emptiness so intense that we even tend to forget what it feels like to feel something, this emptiness and this existential loneliness that questions our mortal condition and our real apparentness in this life.

I understand all that and I'm sorry you're suffering so much.

I understand perfectly because I often wanted to stab myself just to be able to feel something again, the pain.

I guess you would agree that feeling pain is better than feeling nothing but that internal white noise, that emptiness, capable of driving us crazy.

Know one thing sweet @hellispink , you are not alone, even if you can't see it when you suffer like this, don't forget that here we are like a family, fellow travellers who understand each other. ❤❤

We understand you and we love you ❤❤

You deserve only love and happiness

Love ❤❤

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing can certainly be painful as there is no real relief from ourselves and our thoughts, such a thing as peace could never exist in this life, instead there is only endless suffering. It must be so tiring what you are going through, I wish you freedom.