Story The downfall of a programmer

[ForgottenAgain]

I'm back at work and today we were talking about AI, potentially using it or at least investigating it for work.

I started spiralling.

I've consistently gotten psychotic-like episodes with machines, feeling controlled by them, that they are sucking my life, that I am working for them. The CEO used phrases like "AI is fallible as it hallucinates". I started thinking he was talking about me, that I'm the crazy one because I'm a programmer now afraid of machines.

I'm afraid of writing code, I feel so tense, slight panic, hands fidgeting, crying. This is my job, it's how I make money, I write code. I'm so confused...I feel sad and embarrassed, feels like I'm a stupid person when I've worked so hard to be smart and good at my job.

I don't know what I have, I don't know if it is psychosis, am I just imagining everything? Am I doing this to myself? I've always liked working with computers but these past 5 months this panic just developed and I start believing things that no one else understands. I know it makes no sense but at the moment I feel like the machines are evil, they want to control me, they want to do something and I can't trust them. Now this with AI, it's too close to what I'm already feeling. I don't want it to read my mind, I don't want anything bad to happen, I just wanted to do my job!

 

[Iamtired]

Wow. I think this is some kind of withdrawal related symptom if you want me to take a guess. I started having severe paranoia off the sertraline and we mentioned how you CT'd it.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Wow. I think this is some kind of withdrawal related symptom if you want me to take a guess. I started having severe paranoia off the sertraline and we mentioned how you CT'd it.

I was having these symptoms while on the Sertraline, they just haven't stopped :(
I wish it was just withdrawal...

 

[Iamtired]

Oh boy. I'm so sorry. Remember your brain is like a computer. Your neurons are firing at lightning speed and you can control it how you want for the most part.

 

[offtoseethewizard]

I'd have a chat with a psychiatrist at this stage. Try not to worry too much. It could be a number of things which are all treatable I know it's scary but try not to jump to conclusions

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I'd have a chat with a psychiatrist at this stage. Try not to worry too much. It could be a number of things which are all treatable I know it's scary but try not to jump to conclusions

Thank you. I would but the GP didn't refer me to a psychiatrist and when I tried to get one privately there were just two available where I live. One was sick, the other wasn't accepting new patients. I ended up giving up.

Today I was able to write code for work without feeling bad so I'm happy about that.

 

[offtoseethewizard]

You

Thank you. I would but the GP didn't refer me to a psychiatrist and when I tried to get one privately there were just two available where I live. One was sick, the other wasn't accepting new patients. I ended up giving up.

Today I was able to write code for work without feeling bad so I'm happy about that.

can meet a lot of them on zoom actually.

Whether or not you decide to take the medication they give you is another thing entirely. You'll just have to weigh up benefit VS potential drawbacks. Since they generally all have side effects that aren't really mentioned very much.

But if it becomes unmanageable it might be a help.