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willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
3,219
something i have noticed lately is a complete discrepancy in the two ways suicide is dealt with as far as prevention and after the fact. there is constant news and media spreading suicide prevention and how it can always be prevented by x y and z. "reach out to people!" "ban access to suicide resources!" "take down ss!" "call the hotline!". suicide is apparently always preventable if you do these things.

yet when i see comments from people talking to someone who has lost someone to suicide they all say "there is nothing you could have done, if they wanted to die you couldn't stop them". people seem to acknowledge that suicidal people will do what it takes after someone is gone, yet when they are still alive they make it seem like there will always be a cure.

this dichotomy just seems so invalidating to living suicidal people who have tried everything and still want to die, and to people who have lost someone to suicide who are people told that they couldn't have saved them yet maybe they could have if only that had done the right thing. i just don't understand. especially when both sides of the coin are being said by the same person
 
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RdMrk

RdMrk

Member
Feb 24, 2023
20
I think the act of telling someone "there's nothing you could have done' is more out of empathy than anything else. Imo, when people say things like that they really mean "there's nothing you can do now" and they might not realize it. they prioritize the wellbeing of the living seeing as the dead are now , well, dead. But obviously telling someone that there's nothing they can do is kinda a dick move. So they empathize with them and sugar coat it by turning the statement into a past tense one, rather than present tense.

*Idk if that made any sense, I was struggling to put my thoughts into words lmao
 
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symphony

symphony

surving hour-by-hour
Mar 12, 2022
779
I've noticed the same thing. They want to both have their cake and eat it. So is suicide preventable or isn't it? Gotta make up your mind.
 
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AngryDog

AngryDog

Member
Mar 2, 2023
73
I know that not everyone can be saved. There's not such thing as a magical pill that would stop someone from wanting to die. That's a fact. However, I take particular issue with the frase "there's nothing you could have done". It implies that it is impossible to help someone who's struggling with suicidal tendencies. Suicide is preventable in most cases, and people who die by suicide often express the desire to do so before they finally carry it out. It makes sense to help those who are in a vulnerable state.

Assisted suicide should be legal only after every other option is exhausted and the person in question has autonomy and is still experiencing a lot ot pain.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,430
Those types of people are very hypocritical, I just think that it would be better if we existed in a world where suicide is accepted as being a perfectly rational solution and people can be open about the subject before they decide to leave. This might make people be more accepting of the fact that not everyone wishes to stay here and that life isn't always worth it for everyone.
 
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thevaccumguy

thevaccumguy

Member
Feb 14, 2023
40
Human are social animals. So yeah, at some fundamental level, I personally think a lot of people do indeed need help. But is help always possible though? Like, yeah , I'm broke and homeless, so money would be the help I need. But I have severe CPTSD and just can't keep going on, I really don't think any amount of help can realistically take the experience away. So I second FuneralCry here. Suicide as a rational and normalized option is the best solution .
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
7,012
Yes, it is indeed hypocritical, like @FuneralCry said. These pro-lifers want to dictate how others' should live their lives (to conform with their views) yet, at the same time, they admit that there was nothing they can do. The hypocrisy lies in the fact that they said if people done those things to prevent it (CTB), then it could be prevented (which we all know is not true in all cases, plus it is a violation of human civil rights and more). And then on the contrary, they turn around to say to the survivors, it couldn't have been prevented. It's either it can always be prevented (which we all know it is categorically false) or it can not be prevented (which is true on the grand scheme of things, all living things die at the end), but not both.
 
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Homo erectus

Homo erectus

Mage
Mar 7, 2023
560
Modern societies are based on a workaholic culture: people need to work to get an income, and income means freedom. So everyone pretends to be busy doing sometimes to hold on to their jobs and income, which also means making other people busy. Everyone, the entire society, becomes busy. GDP is high, no matter what they do is really useful and meaningful or not (most often not). It is really such hopeless meaningless restless working (wasting time and energy) that makes some people want to die.
 
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W

WannaBdoneSufferng

Member
Jun 5, 2022
15
It's also assumed, when you want to discuss suicide rationally, for some reason that it is a cry for help. Probably because most people who haven't experienced volumes of pain have never thought about a way out. Life for them isn't a torturous prison. So they're like, they are thinking irrationally and need help. Some of the same people would look at someone with cancer and probably empathize with their wish to leave. Invisible pain is easy for people to rationalize away, right up until the point where help is too late. And then it becomes obvious that person was beyond help, or at the very least is now.

I, personally, am disgusted with idea that after 27 years in the mental health system, that they might have something to offer me other than lies and playing pretend. There is no help for so many, the one size fits all way they treat people is not working. But ya, try to get people help at first maybe. After the first decade, maybe a way out should be offered.
 
Octavia

Octavia

“I’d… rather kill myself.”
Mar 4, 2023
363
It's kind of a damage control thing. Family and friends could always have done more, but telling them that would accomplish nothing except make them feel more miserable.
 

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