pain6batch9

pain6batch9

Chronic
Aug 25, 2024
184
I might lose my mind.

To me, this is the most terrifying thing that can happen. If I lose a leg, I'd probably fight on somehow. Since they concern themselves with checking my sight, Glaucoma might take that in a few years. But I might struggle on after that as long as I can. Mainly through sheer bloody-mindedness.

But my mind? My sanity? My ability to reason? To think critically about the world? With that gone, without even the choice to end the suffering, that would render my nightmare whole. It's the most heinous thing I can think of. To take away someone's mind, who they are, their personality, their past. That's everything they ever were, everything they were ever going to be. (Thanks Clint.)

I think, while I can still reason, I'll realise how incredibly precarious our self determination is and be still frightened of coming to terms with what needs to be done. I don't want those thoughts to win. But I also don't want to have no thoughts at all. Time to figure it out is time I may not have.

I'm not even alone in this. Each one of us is watching the clock.

Physicist enters dialogue: Time isn't linear… For humans, does that matter?
 
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Deep Breaths
Aug 25, 2018
390
I am unsure what to say other than to wish you as best as can be under the circumstances. Know that you are not alone, and we will be here for you as best we can to support you in whatever way we are able.
 
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