The day is finally coming closer...

[tser1073]

I thought it would take a couple more years for it to finally get here and for me to finally be ready, there were affairs I wanted to get in order etc...

But I can feel the day getting closer, even though I don't kno2 what it is. I can feel the burden lifting and there's this giant secret in the center of my heart, this thing that defines my whole life and I've never been able to talk about, and when I die it dies with me. I won't infect anyone else with it.


I've been thinking and dreaming of peace my whole life, and I've always suspected this would end in suicide as both my grandmothers died by suicide. Now I can feel the day coming closer and it's not melancholic, I just feel excited and relieved and free. The pain I've been dealing with for so long is finally going to end and I'm going to be free.

 

[FuneralCry]

It is comforting the thought of being free from everything, in fact it's the only thing that could ever comfort me. There is no real peace or relief in this life which is why non existence is ideal to me. Your feelings of wanting to be gone are understandable.
I wish you freedom.