maniac116
My own worst enemy🌹💔
- Aug 10, 2024
- 1,364
THE Darwin Awards: Evolutionary Action.
The Darwin Awards honor those who tip chlorine into our gene pool, by accidentally removing their own DNA from it during the spectacular climax of a 'great idea' gone veddy, veddy wrong
The Car Wash Blues
2022 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin
Driver wins a slow-roll Darwin Award
(15 April 2022, California) Perplexing. Why did a Las Vegas resident jump out of the car inside an Escondido car wash at midnight? Avoiding a bee? All we know is, they did.
Rene Tactay drove into the carwash, then EXITED the Scion hatchback (!!) while the drive was still IN GEAR. (!?) Under its own power, the Scion evidently crept forward as cars do, and the 56-year-old was pinned beneath the vehicle. Escondido police said, "The carwash was not active at the time."
Car Wash or carwash?
The driver was noticed by the next person to visit the carwash--eek! Authorities took the unresponsive body to Palomar Medical Center where death was confirmed. No extenuating circumstances have been found, so we bestow upon Rene a Washed-Up Darwin Award
Modern Armor
2006 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin
(26 August 2006, Leicester, England) Darren's death was a mystery. The 33-year-old was found slumped in the hallway of his house, bleeding from stab wounds to his chest. Police initially assumed that an assailant had attacked him, but they could find no supporting evidence. A year later, the inquest revealed why Darren can stake his claim to a seat at the Winners Bench of Darwin Awardees.
Darren had called a friend that day. Minutes after he rang off he rang back to ask for an ambulance! The emergency responders said the front door was ajar, and Darren was lying near a bloodstained lock-knife. The knife was his own, purchased whilst on holiday in Spain.
Forensics investigators saw no indication of a struggle. The coroner reported that the stab wounds seemed to be self-inflicted. However Darren had shown no prior suicidal tendencies, and also had called for an ambulance. Puzzling...
His wife, who was on holiday at the time of the incident, was able to clear up the matter and revealed why our subject will go down in history as a Darwin Award winner. As she was leaving for holiday, she remembered that Darren wondered aloud whether his new jacket was 'stab-proof.'
That's right: Darren, alone and bored, had decided to 'funk around and find out' if his jacket could withstand a knife attack! He used his Spanish steel blade, and did not bother to test his jacket while it was draped over the back of a chair. No, our man thought that the best approach was to wear the garment and stab himself.
Sadly, his jacket-armor proved less resistant to a sharp blade than he had hoped. The coroner reached a verdict of accidental death by 'misadventure'.
The Darwin Awards honor those who tip chlorine into our gene pool, by accidentally removing their own DNA from it during the spectacular climax of a 'great idea' gone veddy, veddy wrong
The Car Wash Blues
2022 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin
Driver wins a slow-roll Darwin Award
(15 April 2022, California) Perplexing. Why did a Las Vegas resident jump out of the car inside an Escondido car wash at midnight? Avoiding a bee? All we know is, they did.
Rene Tactay drove into the carwash, then EXITED the Scion hatchback (!!) while the drive was still IN GEAR. (!?) Under its own power, the Scion evidently crept forward as cars do, and the 56-year-old was pinned beneath the vehicle. Escondido police said, "The carwash was not active at the time."
Car Wash or carwash?
The driver was noticed by the next person to visit the carwash--eek! Authorities took the unresponsive body to Palomar Medical Center where death was confirmed. No extenuating circumstances have been found, so we bestow upon Rene a Washed-Up Darwin Award
Modern Armor
2006 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin
(26 August 2006, Leicester, England) Darren's death was a mystery. The 33-year-old was found slumped in the hallway of his house, bleeding from stab wounds to his chest. Police initially assumed that an assailant had attacked him, but they could find no supporting evidence. A year later, the inquest revealed why Darren can stake his claim to a seat at the Winners Bench of Darwin Awardees.
Darren had called a friend that day. Minutes after he rang off he rang back to ask for an ambulance! The emergency responders said the front door was ajar, and Darren was lying near a bloodstained lock-knife. The knife was his own, purchased whilst on holiday in Spain.
Forensics investigators saw no indication of a struggle. The coroner reported that the stab wounds seemed to be self-inflicted. However Darren had shown no prior suicidal tendencies, and also had called for an ambulance. Puzzling...
His wife, who was on holiday at the time of the incident, was able to clear up the matter and revealed why our subject will go down in history as a Darwin Award winner. As she was leaving for holiday, she remembered that Darren wondered aloud whether his new jacket was 'stab-proof.'
That's right: Darren, alone and bored, had decided to 'funk around and find out' if his jacket could withstand a knife attack! He used his Spanish steel blade, and did not bother to test his jacket while it was draped over the back of a chair. No, our man thought that the best approach was to wear the garment and stab himself.
Sadly, his jacket-armor proved less resistant to a sharp blade than he had hoped. The coroner reached a verdict of accidental death by 'misadventure'.
Last edited:
[/h2]
