The curse of the friend zone

[GravityUtilizer]

So I'm 35 and I've just been friendzoned for the millionth time. I call it a curse but - I can't deny - there is a chance it's because I'm ugly. And also because I'm broke. What a catch! I do keep in shape and dress better than I used to but it's not enough to break the curse! Oh no.

Basically this most recent one was a girl I've known for a long time and she's recently single and she brought up the topic of hotels in the text conversation for some reason and I took the innuendo baton and ran with it from there. She basically thinks I'm some kind of sleaze bag now, I think.

I genuinely thought she was flirting.

This is not the first time something like this has happened. I allow just for one minute my self-esteem to rise up enough to think I may stand a slight chance here, before it is promptly put back in its rightful place, down in the gutter of my soul.

It's not the only reason I want to cbt (I'm mentally ill too!) but I'm sure it would help if I had a relationship or got laid at least once in a while.

It was a drag in my teens. It remains so.

Stupid curse.

 

[Chiyuki99]

I'm sorry to hear about you getting friend zoned regularly. May I ask what exactly she said/texted that made you believe she was flirting? I'm female 21 myself, would be happy to explain you "real flirting signs" if the reason for you getting friend zoned is for example bad communication skills. Feel free to PM.

 

[Pryras]

If you're a guy it's usually not a concern about looks or anything physical. For women it's about being mentally stimulated. I wouldn't take it personally, you may be an amazing guy for someone else.

I fell in love with someone who I deeply adored but he made it pretty clear that he would never date me. We got along perfect and we're best friends at one point. I wasn't his type physically but there was nothing wrong with me.

he fell in love with a taller European lady he just met and I could swear he had no chemistry with her. Not to sound sexist but for men it's more of a physical attraction than with women. For us we latch on the mental attraction.

 

[waived]

There's plenty of people who look like all kinds of things who get more ass than a toilet seat.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

I'm sorry to hear about you getting friend zoned regularly. May I ask what exactly she said/texted that made you believe she was flirting? I'm female 21 myself, would be happy to explain you "real flirting signs" if the reason for you getting friend zoned is for example bad communication skills. Feel free to PM.

'I'm hoping for a night away somewhere!... Just by the water somewhere, little village... And I'm really into hotels lol... Not like as a fetish lol that sounded wrong...'
I thought she was hinting with me; she was not...

If you're a guy it's usually not a concern about looks or anything physical. For women it's about being mentally stimulated. I wouldn't take it personally, you may be an amazing guy for someone else.

I fell in love with someone who I deeply adored but he made it pretty clear that he would never date me. We got along perfect and we're best friends at one point. I wasn't his type physically but there was nothing wrong with me.

he fell in love with a taller European lady he just met and I could swear he had no chemistry with her. Not to sound sexist but for men it's more of a physical attraction than with women. For us we latch on the mental attraction.

I appreciate this but it's not what I've seen in my experience. I'm your typical geeky-looking skinny dude. Girls around me, inc. geeky girls, have always picked the jock type over me.

There's plenty of people who look like all kinds of things who get more ass than a toilet seat.

Haha good for them.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I can't even get to the point of being friends with anyone tbh

 

[GravityUtilizer]

I can't even get to the point of being friends with anyone tbh

Well to be fair I think she was the last.