I started feeling that way after my son died.
I'm so, so sorry for your tragic loss.
Death is one of the hardest sufferings to swallow. But
even harder for those who are left behind with imense pain and grief — and no solace.
There's no tragedy greater than the loss of one's child... Because it all feels so "unnatural", "unholy" and unjust.
I think this is one of the few tragic events that will make one's unshakable faith in God — or whatever other Divine comedy one may prefer! — to be utterly shattered into pieces...
"How come any good/just divine order would allow such a ill woven fate?!" — one will ask himself, completely taken by the bitterness of rebellion and revolt...