Discussion The concept of SH in society

[stargazingalone]

Cutting yourself without the intention of suicide should be more accepted tbh. Yes, I am actively harming myself for stress relief, but if you think about it, that concept can be applied to other things that are socially acceptable. It shouldn't be looked down upon the way that it is.
A lot of people think that I'm crazy for some shit just because I have scars. Other people do it in different ways, and it's not fair that other things get a pass, just because it's acceptable (alcohol, cigarettes, weed etc)

For example:
Smoking a cig to relief stress -> totally normalized even though its unhealthy
Cutting to relief stress -> omg so bad oh nooo (even though its technically healthier than a cigarette (no lung damages and cancer risks etc))

I get that you shouldn't be walking around, while basically bleeding on everything, but the concept of self harm to just calm down should be more normalized. As long as you don't plan on actually killing yourself everything should be fine.

Or maybe I'm just looking for an excuse to relapse
Who knows

 

[dolemitedrums]

I don't know. I mean you're free to do as you wish but I wouldn't really encourage others to do it or even try to reduce disincentives to do so. It strikes me as pretty counterproductive but I've also never had that issue so I can't relate to what you are getting out of it. I can only give an outsider's perspective.

 

[fleetingnight]

It's hard for me to say if I agree or disagree. I'm an active cutter, but I really hate for people to start it if they haven't already. I feel like it only made things worse for me, and Ik a lot of people share that experience. But, I also see how having a bad outlet is better than no outlet. I have to admit, sometimes it really does calm me down quickly or help me focus, even if that's not all the time

I wish people at least wouldn't have such hateful reaction to finding out someone self harms, though. I agree it should be a similar reaction to drugs and alcohol, which people should be more understanding of as well.

 

[stargazingalone]

It's hard for me to say if I agree or disagree. I an active cutter, but I really hate for people to start it if they haven't already. I feel like it only made things worse for me, and a lot of people I've heard share that experience. But, I also think having a bad outlet is better than no outlet. I have to admit, sometimes it really does calm me down quickly or help me focus, even if that's not all the time

I wish people at least wouldn't have such hateful reaction to finding out someone self harms, though. I agree it should be a similar reaction to drugs and alcohol, not something someone gets berated or treated like a child for.

Thats basically what I wanted to say, only difference for me is that cutting never really affected me negatively (except for reactions from others). Therefore I feel like it should be more acceptable, since I feel like those reactions make it worse. But I totally get that it didnt do anything good for you in general

I don't know. I mean you're free to do as you wish but I wouldn't really encourage others to do it or even try to reduce disincentives to do so. It strikes me as pretty counterproductive but I've also never had that issue so I can't relate to what you are getting out of it. I can only give an outsider's perspective.

Im not trying to encourage people to self harm, I was more or less going for awareness/acceptance, since the thing that makes self harm a bad thing for people is the reaction from others. If you're not trying to actually kill yourself with it, it shouldn't be that big of a deal

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Smoking cigarettes is becoming a more and more frowned upon method of coping by the public and really shouldn't be normalized. In reality, most people don't want harmful coping mechanisms to be normalized and there has been a growing amount of effort to callout those hatmful coping mechanisms. SH shouldn't be normalized as a coping mechanism at all. It doesn't mean that those who SH should be treated like crap or viewed as crazy. It just means that we should be trying to promote better coping mechanisms.

I've been SHing for years and it was wasn't until a few months ago that I decided to stop. I've cut deep enough to see my fat, I've hit myself until I was bruised and swollen, and I've bit the back of my right hand so much that at one point the entire area was numb and I was scared that I may have caused permanent nerve damage to that area (thankfully that wasn't the case and it is fully healed now), and more. SH can potentially cause all sorts of long-term damage, all in the name of short-term relief. Unhealthy coping mechanisms should never be normalized, including SH.

 

[lostintheloop]

I think there should be much less stigma but also people should be supported to stop if they so wish . Just like a little bit of drinking when you're down might be acceptable but if excessively using it to get through everyday and causing serious harm then there are supports like AA and rehab etc. It should be similar for SH I think. But no one should be pushed into stopping suddenly as can make things worse, everyone should be supported at their pace. Some people don't want to stop and need it to survive, that's ok but can still work to understand it and learn other coping skills

I do SH myself and currently making no effort to stop. But I am managing it better and glad of that. I still do it frequently but not severely. I rarely cut deep these days. But in the past I lost control and at my worst was needing stitches every week, sometimes multiple times a week . That was too excessive and shouldn't be 'normalised', shouldn't be judged but help given to cope more safely including 'harm reduction' approaches (still SH just minimising risk)

 

[ToastInTheShell]

I think I agree with you, but I also think there's a fine line between acceptance and encouragement. SH, especially cutting I feel, has such a negative stigma in society. People immediately writing you off as mentally ill/insane/"emo" (all of which reductive in different ways), which is probably just going to make them cut more.

I think that if society treated cutters the same way they treat smokers (i.e. accepting that people are going to do it, acknowledging its not the best thing to do, but not treating them like some kinda leper for doing it), would honestly be kinda good for people who SH. I don't think its fair that cutters should have to be scared about loved ones or even strangers from treating them differently or saying shitty things because they can see SH scars. I can't bring myself to wear t-shirts in public for that exact reason.

Normalisation is where things get a bit tricky though. It's such a human thing to do to see something and emulate it. Young people vape cuz the last generation smokes, so if we normalise cutting scars then some people, probably kids, will be inclined to try it. I think normalising SH would only get more people to cut, and that's rlly bad even if its just the once cuz theyd probably do it again and again.

Yeah idk tbh, sorta conflicted on the whole thing. De-stigmatising it is definitely good for everyone who SHs, but normalising it to the point of treating it like smoking is probably not a great idea. The whole holier-than-thou thing from people who drink and smoke thing lowkey needs to stop too tho. This is just a different coping mechanism, don't shit on me cuz YOU don't understand it.

 

[DoubleUp8]

But who is the 1 who gets to say what is acceptable or not acceptable? Also there are gray areas between healthy and unhealthy. What may be perfectly healthy for 1 person may be totally unhealthy for the next. I'm not a cutter so I really don't understand or want to comment about that. But let's take weed as an example. Is it healthy? It's certainly promoted as such in today's world. Used to be verboten. Not supposed to be addictive and for many it's not. But I have known some people who certainly acted like they were addicted to it and freaked out when they didn't have any. Eating. If you don't you will eventually die. The most healthy thing that exists and the most basic. But eating way too much and ballooning up to 400-500 lbs is very unhealthy. I could cite a lot more examples

I think there should be much less stigma but also people should be supported to stop if they so wish . Just like a little bit of drinking when you're down might be acceptable but if excessively using it to get through everyday and causing serious harm then there are supports like AA and rehab etc. It should be similar for SH I think. But no one should be pushed into stopping suddenly as can make things worse, everyone should be supported at their pace. Some people don't want to stop and need it to survive, that's ok but can still work to understand it and learn other coping skills

I do SH myself and currently making no effort to stop. But I am managing it better and glad of that. I still do it frequently but not severely. I rarely cut deep these days. But in the past I lost control and at my worst was needing stitches every week, sometimes multiple times a week . That was too excessive and shouldn't be 'normalised', shouldn't be judged but help given to cope more safely including 'harm reduction' approaches (still SH just minimising risk)

What is harm reduction approach to cutting? I know the term as it applies to drugs. Kind of wishy washy term where they should just come out and say "legalization". But I have never heard that term in reference to people who cut themselves. Please educate me.

 

[lomorbu]

I mean I think it's kind of ignorant to do things like not hire people for their SH scars. There's this really backwards idea that life is universally hard but everyone should only persist in it silently. The only time people are honest about it is in vague sentiments to their children ( "You'll __ when you get into the real world") or when dismissing suffering in the world as a fact of nature. If this is the case, and everyone knows it, why is there an expectation to go through life without scars? Suffering is everywhere, where are people expecting to find these employees free of suffering? I don't cut but I get tattoos as a form of SH , I have tattoos I don't even like because of it. People compliment them all the time and I could care less. You're right about SH coming in different forms and some more respectable than others but I disagree about people trying it. I wouldn't tell someone to just try cigarettes before deciding they're not attracted to smokers

 

[sylvey]

Cutting yourself without the intention of suicide should be more accepted tbh. Yes, I am actively harming myself for stress relief, but if you think about it, that concept can be applied to other things that are socially acceptable. It shouldn't be looked down upon the way that it is.
A lot of people think that I'm crazy for some shit just because I have scars. Other people do it in different ways, and it's not fair that other things get a pass, just because it's acceptable (alcohol, cigarettes, weed etc)

For example:
Smoking a cig to relief stress -> totally normalized even though its unhealthy
Cutting to relief stress -> omg so bad oh nooo (even though its technically healthier than a cigarette (no lung damages and cancer risks etc))

I get that you shouldn't be walking around, while basically bleeding on everything, but the concept of self harm to just calm down should be more normalized. As long as you don't plan on actually killing yourself everything should be fine.

Or maybe I'm just looking for an excuse to relapse
Who knows

It's like roulette to me, I might get an infection, I might not.