Method The closer I get to CTB, the less depressed I’m feeling

[dwindlingfirst]

I'm soon going to be ordering my SN, and I don't know why but knowing that I can get it now, I've been feeling less depressed because I know that soon it will all end. I'm used to being depressed though, so it feels very very weird. I hate being so used to depression that I don't feel normal without it. Like I'm addicted to it, because it's such a strong part of my personality now, I can't imagine who I'd be if I was happy. Hopefully soon I'll have my SN

 

[tinyteefs]

I understand what you mean. I'm frantically trying to find my method still, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel

 

[floaxed]

This is exactly how I feel. My mind is becoming more calm and clear by the day. Knowing I won't have to be sad anymore is an amazing feeling

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that it makes sense feeling in such a way now that you know you will have a way to free yourself. I believe that having a way to ctb can be such a relief for many people as, feeling trapped in this hellish world with no way to leave really can be such a punishment. I wish you the best with your plans, I think that those who are able to get SN despite all the restrictions really are so fortunate.

 

[CentreMid]

I'm soon going to be ordering my SN, and I don't know why but knowing that I can get it now, I've been feeling less depressed because I know that soon it will all end. I'm used to being depressed though, so it feels very very weird. I hate being so used to depression that I don't feel normal without it. Like I'm addicted to it, because it's such a strong part of my personality now, I can't imagine who I'd be if I was happy. Hopefully soon I'll have my SN

The thought of non existence certainly is comforting, I can understand why you'd feel a sense of relief in a way! It's also understandable that feeling relieved would be somewhat odd to you after you've been so depressed for so long.

Last thing, do be careful, and don't forget to take the necessary precautions should anyone catch on (I only say this because of the current situation with a certain Canadian individual). Anywho, best of luck, and I hope you find peace!

 

[rotting_asters]

I'm close to getting my SN to, but it's weird I don't feel less depressed like you do. Maybe it's because I realize that I'm going to be leaving a lot of good people behind.....idk
Either way I wish you a safe bus ride and I hope for the best for you.

 

[thegolden]

Hi, I'm new here and I don't really understand what it means to SN. Also for anyone who has information about this, if I overdose risperidone tablets(like 100 tablets) will it kill me?

 

[CentreMid]

Hi, I'm new here and I don't really understand what it means to SN. Also for anyone who has information about this, if I overdose risperidone tablets(like 100 tablets) will it kill me?

Hi there, and welcome. SN is the abbreviation for a certain substance that people use to CTB. CTB can stand for either "catch the bus" (as in, the bus to the other side) or "cease to breathe" (either meaning works perfectly fine).

There are resources here explaining in greater detail what SN is and how to use it, although there is an ongoing situation about a certain supplier who is being investigated as he is linked to 2 deaths. People who have ordered from this supplier have unfortunately received "wellness checks" by police. I suggest you stay away from this method until the situation clears up. As much as I wish suicide was more accessible, it's better to not risk getting a "wellness check". But I digress.

As for overdosing, I'm not using this method so I can't say for sure, but there are resources for that as well, plus people are generally okay with answering questions. I suggest creating your own, separate thread about it. Best of luck in whatever you choose to do

 

[Qua]

I heard that when a depressed person suddenly becomes happy they might be close to ctb. It's nice to see that it actually brings some sort of happiness and comfort in getting closer to ending the suffering. Wish you the best of luck

 

[dwindlingfirst]

I heard that when a depressed person suddenly becomes happy they might be close to ctb. It's nice to see that it actually brings some sort of happiness and comfort in getting closer to ending the suffering. Wish you the best of luck

A candle burns it's brightest just before it goes out

 

[jolongone]

I'm soon going to be ordering my SN, and I don't know why but knowing that I can get it now, I've been feeling less depressed because I know that soon it will all end. I'm used to being depressed though, so it feels very very weird. I hate being so used to depression that I don't feel normal without it. Like I'm addicted to it, because it's such a strong part of my personality now, I can't imagine who I'd be if I was happy. Hopefully soon I'll have my SN

Hope you have a source for SN cos it's getting really hard to get now

 

[deathLiberation]

It is conforting.
It´s like a liberation, starting to see death as liberation and actually be rational about it.
I understand, when im depressed, reading and learning about suicide helps.