Discussion The appeal of a violent death

[contemplatingjaahil]

Following my recent failure of ctbing with pills Ive begun to see the appeal of a violent death. Methods like SN and pills are terrifying because unless you pass out asap, you sit there for 20-30 minutes or longer just knowing youre about to die. The survival instinct kicks in and you're afraid to die and want to live but it might be too late. I was in the hospital begging God to spare my life, even though I want nothing more than death. At-least through a violent method like shotgun to the head, jumping infront of a train theres no time to think or regret. Its all over in a second. I wish I had access to a gun.

 

[WornOutLife]

You've got a point. However, SN is still one of my chosen methods.

The good thing about getting a gun would be that I could at least get drunk af before ctb!

You know, I would like to die while being happy and tipsy!

 

[Conflict3d]

Gun or train seems really quick but for some reason I just can't think of having someone or even my family finding my body after. I love my family and would want them to at least be able to say goodbye in a way and not have to have a closed casket funeral.

 

[quiet.rabbit]

I wish I had access to a very high roof. Seems cool to jump down from so high, and it's easier to get it right if you do it (just pick the right place and jump), while gun is more complicated (choose the right gun/bullets, aim at the right spot the right way). But guns are more accessible I guess. Still not as accessible as SN for me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yeah, I understand what you mean. Guns aren't legal in my country but I have always liked the appeal of jumping even know SI would probably stop me going through with it. If I had access to SN I would go for that however.

 

[contemplatingjaahil]

You've got a point. However, SN is still one of my chosen methods.

The good thing about getting a gun would be that I could at least get drunk af before ctb!

You know, I would like to die while being happy and tipsy!

I will probably use SN. I hope that I pass out immediately.

I wish I had access to a very high roof. Seems cool to jump down from so high, and it's easier to get it right if you do it (just pick the right place and jump), while gun is more complicated (choose the right gun/bullets, aim at the right spot the right way). But guns are more accessible I guess. Still not as accessible as SN for me.

Jumping seems scary to me. The fear on the way down...

 

[quiet.rabbit]

Yeah, I understand what you mean. Guns aren't legal in my country but I have always liked the appeal of jumping even know SI would probably stop me going through with it. If I had access to SN I would go for that however.

Wouldn't alcohol help with the SI? Then that wouldn't be impossible for you.

I will probably use SN. I hope that I pass out immediately.

Jumping seems scary to me. The fear on the way down...

Personally I like any method that lets me chill and appreciate my environment before I do an act that instantly kills me. Just feel the breeze in that roof and look at the nice view... The moment of fear will be over in seconds.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Same, there is just too much time to call for help what are you supposed to do handcuff yourself? I've always fantasised about a violent death anyway it seems cleaner and purer, maybe I don't have a good enough imagination. Watching people die in dignitas in a documentary made me feel sick I wouldn't want it to be like that even if it is calm and you don't feel anything it looks disgusting to me. Even hanging is more attractive to me if you forced me to watch either. We are not all lucky to have guns but that's not the only way I think.

 

[contemplatingjaahil]

Same, there is just too much time to call for help what are you supposed to do handcuff yourself? I've always fantasised about a violent death anyway it seems cleaner and purer, maybe I don't have a good enough imagination. Watching people die in dignitas in a documentary made me feel sick I wouldn't want it to be like that even if it is calm and you don't feel anything it looks disgusting to me. Even hanging is more attractive to me if you forced me to watch either. We are not all lucky to have guns but that's not the only way I think.

I think its impossible to resist. I ended up calling the ambulance despite being 100% sure I wanted to die.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

I think its impossible to resist. I ended up calling the ambulance despite being 100% sure I wanted to die.

Yes, I read about people saying to cover door handles with grease or something so that you can't escape, too hard to do that SI far too strong if it is lasting minutes instead of just a few seconds. I wish I was brave enough to do that I really do not fancy being in a hospital again.

 

[Hattywacky]

There's something about slitting my own throat, and my knees buckling as the blood poors out that's appealing to me. Maybe it's all the medieval tv shows I watched.
But like just cutting chicken is a real struggle for me. so think I'll have to OD on heroin. Feels like cheating tho.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

You've got a point. However, SN is still one of my chosen methods.

The good thing about getting a gun would be that I could at least get drunk af before ctb!

You know, I would like to die while being happy and tipsy!

I'm going to take some Valium b4 l ctb so l'm nice and relaxed, and maybe a proper huge cone of a jay! Hope your ok today Matt, Hugs, Mike :-)

 

[Makko]

Violent death is the only death for me, I'm not a "sleepy pill" person. I want to feel the death when it's time.

 

[Hattywacky]

Violent death is the only death for me, I'm not a "sleepy pill" person. I want to feel the death when it's time.

I agree. Id like to be Aware, to feel the fight, the animal instinct, the sheer panic. And to gulp it down and do it anyway.
But I also know if I make it to hard for myself I risky backing out, and I dont want that. I've got several lethal methods prepared. And when it comes to it, if I'm too scared I'll pick the peaceful option. The important thing for me is just getting it done at this point.

 

[Diesel_Punk]

Blowing my brains out with a shotgun has always appealed to me, despite the apparent dangers of ending up as a disfigured vegetable. There is just something about my brain and thus my consciousness being turned into mush by the sheer force of pressure in the fraction of a second and the violent obliteration of my facial features so I truly leave nothing behind in this world...

Unfortunately this method is currently out of my reach but one can dream...

 

[Octavina]

I know exactly how you feel. It's daunting, I feel so afraid of the package arriving any day from now, knowing I have no escape. I want to just take a bus to the park next to my parents house and just do full suspension, it's much quicker and so what if I'm in pain for 20 seconds at most, it will be much quicker than SN. I have low blood pressure and fainting spells are similar to passing out with SN (from my previous attempt)
I have benzos, meto and beta blockers coming now but I still am afraid of my SI. It's like my brain is cut in half, I want to die 99% but the 1% is so strong at keeping me here. It's human nature and it sucks