I have finally decided to make the decision to CTB. I would much appreciate if anyone would give me an assisted suicide method in the UK. I have let people down so much, I keep making mistakes, I am too dumb for this world, everyone around me is succeeding in life except for me, I will not make it in this world at all. I will never succeed or be able to do what I always wished to do. So what's the point of living? Life is for those who are able to make use of themselves. Those who have a good future in their life. Those people deserve to live. I don't. I have no motivation and no chance of success. It's not like I deserve to live anyway. This 6 months lasting depression is all my fault. I need someone to tell me the best way to CTB.
locked*n*loaded
Archangel
- Apr 15, 2022
- 7,258
You want an assisted suicide method? Like a method whereby someone helps you commit suicide?
Yes, that is correct. I'm sure that exists in the UK right? That's what I'm looking for.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 38,894
There is no option for legalised assisted suicide/euthanasia in the UK, I don't know what gave you the impression that it's legal, the UK really is so anti suicide. I wish that it was legal, I hate this pro suffering country, this certainly is a cursed world.
SilentSadness
The rain pours eternally.
- Feb 28, 2023
- 1,126
Unfortunately, I certainly am not succeeding in life, most notably I am unable to ctb. There really is no accessible way to achieve a painless death, because delusional pro-life people have been restricting access to methods since day one. Assisted suicide certainly isn't legal in most countries, and even where it is, it's restricted to people with terminal illness. I really hate being trapped in this hellhole and the only reason that I'm here is because I'm forced to. I wish I could help, but sadly it's simply not possible for me to.
Shit. I thought it was legal and available. Well that just reveals how dumb I am aren't I? I'm too dumb to be able to live like everyone else. Don't worry, I will find a way to manually perform CTB.
Crap. Looks like manual CTB is the only option. Life is unfair and I will never get anywhere. Those bitches make life hard and unfair, yet they still have the audacity to make me continue living by restricting access to assisted CTB.
locked*n*loaded
Archangel
- Apr 15, 2022
- 7,258
I think you have to travel to the Netherlands (maybe) or something, don't you? And even then you have to get accepted into the program and have to have specific, justifiable cause. It's easier to find a method and do it yourself.
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,872
From what others are saying on here, they are correct that the UK doesn't have assisted suicide (maybe passive euthanasia and even then it is not easy to get it). I'm from the US and we only have death with dignity laws on the books in various states, all of which require the person to be terminally ill with less than 6 months to live, of sound mind and have mental capacity, and of course being able to self-administer it (in other words sick enough to be terminally ill, but not too sick to not be able to have the capability to self-administer the drug).
Also, @locked*n*loaded is right about the Netherlands, not only does one need justifiable cause to receive said service, but if I remember correctly, one also has to be a citizen of most of the countries that have legal assisted suicide (except in Switzerland).
Also, @locked*n*loaded is right about the Netherlands, not only does one need justifiable cause to receive said service, but if I remember correctly, one also has to be a citizen of most of the countries that have legal assisted suicide (except in Switzerland).
Yes, it's easier to find a method.
Like I said, they make life hard for you yet they still prevent you from self-destructing your existence. Not only is life hard to live, it's also hard to CTB and not exist anymore. And on top of that the "therapists" that encourage you to seek help are only doing their job to earn money, they don't care. They prefer to earn a financial advantage over respecting someone else's decision to CTB.
UPDATE
*THIS IS A LONG ESSAY ABOUT THE STORY OF MY LIFE AND WHY I WANT TO CTB.*
*AND ALSO I WILL TRY TO NOT REUSE COMMON PHRASES MADE BY DEPRESSED PEOPLE LIKE THESE BECAUSE IM SURE YOU'VE HEARD IT ALL: "I am useless" "Everyone hates me" "Everyone treats me like trash" "Everyone would be better off with out me"*
*And without further ado, read on.*
I have finally decided to make the decision to CTB. I would much appreciate if anyone would give me an assisted suicide method in the UK. I have let people down a lot, including my parents, and I am guilty, I keep making embarrassing mistakes, I am too dumb for this world, everyone around me is succeeding in life except for me, I will not make it in this world at all. I will never succeed or be able to do what I always wished to do. So what's the point of living? Life is for those who are able to make use of themselves. Those who have a good future in their life. Those people deserve to live. I don't. I have no motivation and no chance of success. It's not like I deserve to live anyway. This 6 months lasting depression is all my fault.
But wait, there's more. I am home schooling in college at the moment, studying Computer Science. I can't bring myself to do any assignments or study for any tests. I simply have no interest in the subjects anymore. I live with my dad and commute to school and I hate every minute of going to class and being on campus. I feel so much guilt because going to college is a opportunity and my dad paid a lot of money and it feels like I am just blowing it. And because I have no motivation, i am useless. Am I not?
I am honestly not sure what to do with my trash life anymore. I'd like to finish school, but the motivation is just not there. I think about CTB every day. School was honestly all I had until I lost the motivation to continue.
No motivation, no potential for success, and because of my uselessness, I always think of performing CTB but I'm not sure how i am even going to pull it off. I'm a total failure, and I don't think I'm going to make it in this cursed world at all, not that I even deserve to live anyway. Life is for successful people and for those who can make use of themselves, not bastards like me. And on top of that it's not my only problem. I seem to have a problem with everyone I know as well. Everyone I know, I have seen the cursed side of them at least once. Not a single soul was nice to me my entire life. Not even my "family"
And speaking of my "family", and also speaking of the fact that you should think about how they would feel if you were gone, they do things everyday that give me a new reason to CTB. (Everyday I wake up and go back to sleep with a new reason to CTB.) I have 2 sisters, and the WORST thing of all, is that one of them decided to say "Alfarooq, why don't you CTB earlier because I don't want you here at all". Wow. I felt offended alot. I don't even know how the imbeciles found out I had the desire to CTB. So my entire "family" is a joke.
Human beings are cursed. They always offend me. No one helps you become happy in this cursed world, no one cares about your existence, and no one helps you succeed. I have been harassed and offended a lot by many bastards, had many fake friends betray me, and every bastard only cares about themselves. There is no one worth trusting in this planet. Everyone around me is succeeding, and I am tired of being left out. Who will care about your existence? If your not smart enough to to make something useful of yourself in this life, you will not get anywhere. I need to CTB asap.
And they say life is a "gift from God" well I have abused that gift, and I don't deserve it. I deserve to die.
*THIS IS A LONG ESSAY ABOUT THE STORY OF MY LIFE AND WHY I WANT TO CTB.*
*AND ALSO I WILL TRY TO NOT REUSE COMMON PHRASES MADE BY DEPRESSED PEOPLE LIKE THESE BECAUSE IM SURE YOU'VE HEARD IT ALL: "I am useless" "Everyone hates me" "Everyone treats me like trash" "Everyone would be better off with out me"*
*And without further ado, read on.*
I have finally decided to make the decision to CTB. I would much appreciate if anyone would give me an assisted suicide method in the UK. I have let people down a lot, including my parents, and I am guilty, I keep making embarrassing mistakes, I am too dumb for this world, everyone around me is succeeding in life except for me, I will not make it in this world at all. I will never succeed or be able to do what I always wished to do. So what's the point of living? Life is for those who are able to make use of themselves. Those who have a good future in their life. Those people deserve to live. I don't. I have no motivation and no chance of success. It's not like I deserve to live anyway. This 6 months lasting depression is all my fault.
But wait, there's more. I am home schooling in college at the moment, studying Computer Science. I can't bring myself to do any assignments or study for any tests. I simply have no interest in the subjects anymore. I live with my dad and commute to school and I hate every minute of going to class and being on campus. I feel so much guilt because going to college is a opportunity and my dad paid a lot of money and it feels like I am just blowing it. And because I have no motivation, i am useless. Am I not?
I am honestly not sure what to do with my trash life anymore. I'd like to finish school, but the motivation is just not there. I think about CTB every day. School was honestly all I had until I lost the motivation to continue.
No motivation, no potential for success, and because of my uselessness, I always think of performing CTB but I'm not sure how i am even going to pull it off. I'm a total failure, and I don't think I'm going to make it in this cursed world at all, not that I even deserve to live anyway. Life is for successful people and for those who can make use of themselves, not bastards like me. And on top of that it's not my only problem. I seem to have a problem with everyone I know as well. Everyone I know, I have seen the cursed side of them at least once. Not a single soul was nice to me my entire life. Not even my "family"
And speaking of my "family", and also speaking of the fact that you should think about how they would feel if you were gone, they do things everyday that give me a new reason to CTB. (Everyday I wake up and go back to sleep with a new reason to CTB.) I have 2 sisters, and the WORST thing of all, is that one of them decided to say "Alfarooq, why don't you CTB earlier because I don't want you here at all". Wow. I felt offended alot. I don't even know how the imbeciles found out I had the desire to CTB. So my entire "family" is a joke.
Human beings are cursed. They always offend me. No one helps you become happy in this cursed world, no one cares about your existence, and no one helps you succeed. I have been harassed and offended a lot by many bastards, had many fake friends betray me, and every bastard only cares about themselves. There is no one worth trusting in this planet. Everyone around me is succeeding, and I am tired of being left out. Who will care about your existence? If your not smart enough to to make something useful of yourself in this life, you will not get anywhere. I need to CTB asap.
And they say life is a "gift from God" well I have abused that gift, and I don't deserve it. I deserve to die.
6MillionWaystoDie
Choose one
- Mar 18, 2023
- 91
Hi @Alfarooq
Welcome to the forum. Just like many of us, if not all of us, it sounds as if you are depressed. When depressed we fluctuate between feelings of anger, desperation, despair, loathing as well as many other emotions. It looks as if you've found the right place to vent. Feel free to do so as necessary.
If you don't mind me asking, would you feel comfortable talking about some of the mistakes you've made? Its possible you are being exceptionally hard on yourself and some of what you label as mistakes are just part of the learning and growing process that life throws our way.
Why do you believe the depression is your fault? What happened, specifically?
Home schooling / working has taken a toll on many beginning with the pandemic. You are not alone if you are no longer motivated. May I ask how old you are? Assuming you are a normal-aged college student (18-25) then having ongoing stressors are normal. Many of us put pressure on ourselves (in addition to family pressures) to finish early or "on-time". Honestly there is really no such thing. These are constructs the outside world created. Nothing more than "norms" if such a thing existed. Norms are unspoken rules that are often worth breaking. Taking a well-deserved break from school is ok especially if it can provide some much needed room and space to breath as well as time for introspection.
What did you do to let your parents down? Why do you feel they have been let down? Assuming your parents are not abusive and they are "normal" I'd imagine they only want the best for you. They are human and sometimes get it wrong. They may not recognize we've been pushed past our limits and its time to take a new approach. Do you mind discussing them?
What happened with your sister that would make her say something like that? Is it possible this is just an intensified version of sibling rivalry? I don't know all the details and would like to hear. I'm hoping she is just responding inappropriately to you, not realizing that you are going through a really tough time and are on the brink.
I can't really say anything to dispel how you feel about people. Many of us on this site also believe the majority of people as fake in this world. I empathize with your experience. I am there too.
What makes you feel like everyone is succeeding around you and you are not? I'm not sure what country you live in but there is a lot of "fake it til you make it" culture now buried within society. I would not trust what others are putting out there. There are numerous people who put on the heir of having it alltogether then go home and cry their eyes out nightly. Don't believe the hype!
Also, have you considered or tried any forms of therapy? Is that acceptable within your family or country?
Hopefully you feel comfortable talking a bit more about your situation. Venting always helps if nothing else.
Welcome to the forum. Just like many of us, if not all of us, it sounds as if you are depressed. When depressed we fluctuate between feelings of anger, desperation, despair, loathing as well as many other emotions. It looks as if you've found the right place to vent. Feel free to do so as necessary.
If you don't mind me asking, would you feel comfortable talking about some of the mistakes you've made? Its possible you are being exceptionally hard on yourself and some of what you label as mistakes are just part of the learning and growing process that life throws our way.
Why do you believe the depression is your fault? What happened, specifically?
Home schooling / working has taken a toll on many beginning with the pandemic. You are not alone if you are no longer motivated. May I ask how old you are? Assuming you are a normal-aged college student (18-25) then having ongoing stressors are normal. Many of us put pressure on ourselves (in addition to family pressures) to finish early or "on-time". Honestly there is really no such thing. These are constructs the outside world created. Nothing more than "norms" if such a thing existed. Norms are unspoken rules that are often worth breaking. Taking a well-deserved break from school is ok especially if it can provide some much needed room and space to breath as well as time for introspection.
What did you do to let your parents down? Why do you feel they have been let down? Assuming your parents are not abusive and they are "normal" I'd imagine they only want the best for you. They are human and sometimes get it wrong. They may not recognize we've been pushed past our limits and its time to take a new approach. Do you mind discussing them?
What happened with your sister that would make her say something like that? Is it possible this is just an intensified version of sibling rivalry? I don't know all the details and would like to hear. I'm hoping she is just responding inappropriately to you, not realizing that you are going through a really tough time and are on the brink.
I can't really say anything to dispel how you feel about people. Many of us on this site also believe the majority of people as fake in this world. I empathize with your experience. I am there too.
What makes you feel like everyone is succeeding around you and you are not? I'm not sure what country you live in but there is a lot of "fake it til you make it" culture now buried within society. I would not trust what others are putting out there. There are numerous people who put on the heir of having it alltogether then go home and cry their eyes out nightly. Don't believe the hype!
Also, have you considered or tried any forms of therapy? Is that acceptable within your family or country?
Hopefully you feel comfortable talking a bit more about your situation. Venting always helps if nothing else.
Hi there, thanks for reaching out to me. Of course I will talk some of the mistakes I made. You may hate me now, but I constantly took money from my parents without asking, a long time ago I did it to buy video games, but now I had the intention to "invest it" which of course backfired, and I ended up blaming myself for my stupidity, too dumb to have been able to make the right decisions at that time. I also made multiple attempts to win at life but I found myself digging a hole so deep I couldn't climb back out of it.Hi @Alfarooq
Welcome to the forum. Just like many of us, if not all of us, it sounds as if you are depressed. When depressed we fluctuate between feelings of anger, desperation, despair, loathing as well as many other emotions. It looks as if you've found the right place to vent. Feel free to do so as necessary.
If you don't mind me asking, would you feel comfortable talking about some of the mistakes you've made? Its possible you are being exceptionally hard on yourself and some of what you label as mistakes are just part of the learning and growing process that life throws our way.
Why do you believe the depression is your fault? What happened, specifically?
Home schooling / working has taken a toll on many beginning with the pandemic. You are not alone if you are no longer motivated. May I ask how old you are? Assuming you are a normal-aged college student (18-25) then having ongoing stressors are normal. Many of us put pressure on ourselves (in addition to family pressures) to finish early or "on-time". Honestly there is really no such thing. These are constructs the outside world created. Nothing more than "norms" if such a thing existed. Norms are unspoken rules that are often worth breaking. Taking a well-deserved break from school is ok especially if it can provide some much needed room and space to breath as well as time for introspection.
What did you do to let your parents down? Why do you feel they have been let down? Assuming your parents are not abusive and they are "normal" I'd imagine they only want the best for you. They are human and sometimes get it wrong. They may not recognize we've been pushed past our limits and its time to take a new approach. Do you mind discussing them?
What happened with your sister that would make her say something like that? Is it possible this is just an intensified version of sibling rivalry? I don't know all the details and would like to hear. I'm hoping she is just responding inappropriately to you, not realizing that you are going through a really tough time and are on the brink.
I can't really say anything to dispel how you feel about people. Many of us on this site also believe the majority of people as fake in this world. I empathize with your experience. I am there too.
What makes you feel like everyone is succeeding around you and you are not? I'm not sure what country you live in but there is a lot of "fake it til you make it" culture now buried within society. I would not trust what others are putting out there. There are numerous people who put on the heir of having it alltogether then go home and cry their eyes out nightly. Don't believe the hype!
Also, have you considered or tried any forms of therapy? Is that acceptable within your family or country?
Hopefully you feel comfortable talking a bit more about your situation. Venting always helps if nothing else.
And as with how old I am, I am 17, turning 18 in 4 months. My motivation has been absent forever with my studies.
And as for my parents, they are normal. They are good parents. But because of the way I have been treating them, I don't think they deserve a criminal son like me. They deserve a child that makes them proud. One of the reasons I want to CTB. (Kill myself)
And as for my sister, don't even get me started. I have been disrespected countless times all my life, and not to mention I already said she found out I wanted to CTB, and has been teasing me ever since.
What makes me feel everyone is succeeding and me not is the fact that they are motivated and I am not.
As for therapy, I haven't tried that yet. But a part of me wants to seek help and do so. I like in Manchester in the UK and therapy is available, I hope.
And last but not least, if you want to share this story I don't mind, I give you the permission to do so. I am willing to open up about my feelings to anyone and I don't care about the consequences.
