That time I died

[motel rooms]

I used to be a devout Catholic, but I had a near-death experience at a gay orgy - a gigantic talking Penis filled with Light emerged from the Darkness, gave me a long hug & all the answers. I'd love to share them with all of you for a tiny fee. Feel free to contact me.
P.S.
Don't even think about challenging the validity of my profound spiritual experience. I have seen the Light & it is the Penis, & the Penis is the Light, & the Penis & the Light are one, forever & ever, & ever & forever. Repent & sin no more, unless you do it by worshipping the Penis.

 

[ClownMe]

Shut up and take my money!

 

[Thinking]

Dude what are you on??

 

[In2TheVoid]

god is a dick

 

[popuoh]

god is a dick

Both literal and figuratively

 

[PSYCHO_METAL_X]

Amen

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm glad I was raised as a Catholic, I can see how nonsense religions are thanks to that!

 

[Pookie]

 

[Deleted member 8579]

Was it anything like this?

 

[motel rooms]

Was it anything like this?

No, my mystical experience wasn't nightmarish at all, & it certainly involved no girls.
Btw, do you think someone out there still makes guillotines? The Mary Antoinette in me has always wanted to leave this world in style

 

[Pookie]

No, my mystical experience wasn't nightmarish at all, & it certainly involved no girls.
Btw, do you think someone out there still makes guillotines? The Mary Antoinette in me has always wanted to leave this world in style

Your bloodied head rolling on the ground would certainly look very stylish. It's also an incredibly edgy way to go.

 

[motel rooms]

Your head rolling on the ground would certainly look very stylish. It's also an incredibly edgy way to go.

I assure you there would be a big, glamorous smile on my powdered face. And all those lowly servants of mine would be forced to clean up the bloody mess

 

[Deleted member 8579]

No, my mystical experience wasn't nightmarish at all, & it certainly involved no girls.
Btw, do you think someone out there still makes guillotines? The Mary Antoinette in me has always wanted to leave this world in style

Why not make your own?
There once was a man who committed suicide with a self made guillotine:
"This study reports the analysis of a suicide committed by a 31-year-old man with a self-fabricated guillotine. The construction of the guillotine was very interesting and sophisticated. The guillotine-like blade with additional weight was placed in a large metal frame. The movement of the blade was controlled by the frame rails. The steel blade was triggered by a tensioned rubber band after releasing the safety catch. The cause of death was immediate exsanguination after complete severance of the neck. The suicide motive was most likely emotional distress after the death of his father. In medico-legal literature, there has been only one similar case of suicidal complete decapitation by a guillotine described."

Be warned: graphic images ahead.

Spoiler

 

[Bat 17]

I used to be a devout Catholic, but I had a near-death experience at a gay orgy - a gigantic talking Penis filled with Light emerged from the Darkness, gave me a long hug & all the answers. I'd love to share them with all of you for a tiny fee. Feel free to contact me.
P.S.
Don't even think about challenging the validity of my profound spiritual experience. I have seen the Light & it is the Penis, & the Penis is the Light, & the Penis & the Light are one, forever & ever, & ever & forever. Repent & sin no more, unless you do it by worshipping the Penis.

Thank you so much for infecting my mind with this image / mind-worm of a giant talking penis filled with light. I was even considering it in the shower this morning. I was wondering if it was the size of an airship and how it was powered. I was trying to discern what kind of voice a giant penis would have. I was trying to decide if white light or multicolour would be more tasteful.

I try not to be intimidated by the giant penis. I try and see it as a force for good in this world. I have an image of a giant rock stadium with screaming fans and the Giant Penis floating overhead, like some unholy fusion of Pink Floyd and Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to escape back into pure fantasy...

 

[motel rooms]

Dude what are you on??

Are you challenging the validity of my profound spiritual experience?!?

 

[Beachedwhale]

And then the Holy Penis filled me with His White Light

 

[motel rooms]

And then the Holy Penis filled me with His White Light

Follow the Path & eat of His White Light... It's a little salty, but Heaven will be sweet

 

[motel rooms]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia0.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2FgvnBUe6e3ZRxC%2F200.gif&hash=9ca36554f90885d4eae2cb02a4e90e0chttps://sanctioned-suicide.net/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia4.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2FfC1HPbYpydrqM%2F200.gif&hash=5c4c52efb86302afef59d26773d6c793

 

[motel rooms]

 

[Jumper Geo]

I am catholic and I had a dream last night my ex-friend was in it, but he was just a dick,

Cheers

Geo

 

[motel rooms]

I am catholic and I had a dream last night my ex-friend was in it, but he was just a dick,

Dreams with just one dick in them are bo-ring!


https://sanctioned-suicide.net/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia1.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2FxT5LMHCPoNGrM6Hznq%2F200.gif&hash=826a370c35b0ed5feadf4b7712ac85b1

 

[motel rooms]

god is a dick

He is, that's why it's so important to worship the Penis

 

[SleepDealer]

Why not make your own?
There once was a man who committed suicide with a self made guillotine:
"This study reports the analysis of a suicide committed by a 31-year-old man with a self-fabricated guillotine. The construction of the guillotine was very interesting and sophisticated. The guillotine-like blade with additional weight was placed in a large metal frame. The movement of the blade was controlled by the frame rails. The steel blade was triggered by a tensioned rubber band after releasing the safety catch. The cause of death was immediate exsanguination after complete severance of the neck. The suicide motive was most likely emotional distress after the death of his father. In medico-legal literature, there has been only one similar case of suicidal complete decapitation by a guillotine described."

Be warned: graphic images ahead.

Spoiler

Someone come help me build a guillotine, I'll fund it.

 

[motel rooms]

Someone come help me build a guillotine, I'll fund it.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

Did this resemble what you saw in your dreams?

 

[motel rooms]

Did this resemble what you saw in your dreams?

Yes, but how dare you invalidate my profound spiritual experiences by calling them mere dreams?!

 

[Braindead Atheist]

This is fucking hilarious!

 

[Deleted member 8579]

This is fucking hilarious!

I hope Hilarious consented.

 

[newave3]

I will pray for you

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

ewwwww!! i'm screwed.