M

Moon Flower

I'll soon be sleeping sound
Oct 14, 2019
536
I think I talked my s/o into going to thanksgiving with his family while I stay behind. He made me promise that I wouldn't hurt myself, and I feel incredibly guilty that a promise from me is just going to turn out to be a lie I haven't told yet, but I honest to god need out and I need out at the first chance I can get. I've kind of brought our social group together a lot more so he'll have people to lean on after the fact at least, I just can't keep putting everyone else first when I'm suffering so immensely. My thyroid meds ran out and the chronic fatigue is setting in worse than ever. Can't afford to get more meds or even see the doctor anymore either. It's just time.
 
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SuicidalSymphonies

SuicidalSymphonies

I think I'll take a dirt nap.
Oct 13, 2019
1,028
You have to do what's good for you. I'm personally a little afraid of how they'll react and then when I'm gone in May. It will be a massive loss, but we have to do what is best for ourselves.

It doesn't mean we don't love or care for these people, but unfortunately the way to love our own selves is to let go. You know how much I care about you. This isn't an easy decision and he clearly loves you dearly.

I just think he needs to understand why. You've written a note, you've explained yourself. That's all you can do in the end.

Much love to you. x
 
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BlueWidow

BlueWidow

Visionary
Oct 6, 2019
2,179
I'm so sorry for your suffering. I can definitely relate to the chronic fatigue and accompanying symptoms due to lack of thyroid meds. I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do. I hope things turn out the way you need them too. I'll be joining you soon. Right now I'm planning on either Dec. 27th ( my 16th wedding anniversary). If that date doesn't work out, my backup date is January 3rd (37 years since my first suicide attempt on 1/3/1983).
Best of luck to you. :heart:
 
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