R
randomperson1234
New Member
- Jun 18, 2023
- 1
I've lurked here for a while but I made an account so I can thank everyone for their resources. In a few hours, I will be done writing my notes and ready to move passed this living hell. I've set up my partial hanging and will hopefully peacefully succeed as I will be high and drunk when I ctb. I am calmed by the knowledge that I won't have to face the world tomorrow, but I am getting intoxicated as I am terrified of the process itself. Sadly, my exwife will be forced to find me as she will come here to watch my dog while I'm supposedly at work. The only reason I've survived this long is because I had no way for someone to watch my dog if I go without having someone get suspicious of my intent. I wish no one knew me so that I would not feel any guilt over their pain. Yet, I can't continue, as I have been suffering for over a decade. I wish my parents adopted someone who conformed to society's expectations. I'm trying to write them to lessen the pain but I know they will be devastated. They are already sad that I'm an antinatalist. They know I about my depression and other mental issues but I've bullshitted employers and others so that I could at least live to work. Now they'll also find out that I am promortalist, or whatever this is. I've never tried hurting anyone, but I've always seemed to through my inaction or lack of desire to be what is expected. At least I have found solace here and I thank you all for it.