Thank everything that this site exists

[Tintypographer]

There is no other place in the world where i can talk to other people about my feelings of constant suicidal ideation and depression where they don't:
A) delete my posts for fear of upsetting others and state that "you are clearly suicidal and need to contact a professional"
B) suggest I contact a professional which is exactly 100 percent the opposite of what I want to do.
C) allow me to think through the horrible thoughts in my head without telling me I'm wrong for feeling this way

This piece of the world helps me so much. I don't think a normal person can even come close to understanding what it's like to wake up from the peace of sleep and wish you could die all day long without any break from the incessant depression and horrible paralyzing feelings.

People don't want to hear "therapy doesn't work" or "the meds aren't helping"

I'm stuck. Right or wrong I don't want to be here, hate cognitive reframing or any type of "accept your situation and look on the bright side" therapy, and the meds don't make me feel better after 20 plus years. I don't care about my family any more, I get kicked from other forums because things aren't helping and I have plans to enact soon. If there are thousands of me out there and nothing can be done, why not let is congregate here in our corners and commiserate until we pass

 

[FuneralCry]

Non suicidal people will never be able to comprehend what it is like. They automatically dismiss all suicidal people as being irrational when in reality wanting suicide can be perfectly rational when someone comes to the conclusion that their life is not worth living. A place like this is needed where people can talk openly about suicide without hearing toxic positivity and platitudes.

 

[Tintypographer]

I feel like non suicidal use the logic of special pleading because they can't handle the emotions of what a suicidal person is going through. A special pleading is like defining a miracle. You invoke it to maintain the control in an argument that has a basis in an event outside of what can be proven.

It goes in this fashion:
"You may not understand it because you are suicidal but it will get better I promise"

What that means is that you can't argue and they can close the discussion at that point. The special pleading says that "we can't understand the magical event so we should simply believe it". This is usually invoked by someone who is quite scared to have a rational argument they know they could lose.

"I am suicidal, I feel suicidal, I am in pain" are not easy things to argue about and platitudes don't fix them. So the non suicidal afraid of that argument invokes the special pleading.

They will further invoke experts to avoid the argument saying "if you already have plans you need to get professional help but suicide is not the answer and you are fooling yourself and being lied to"

Again, this is a way to avoid the concrete arguments you have about being in pain and having no recourse to escape it. The non suicidal have no empathy, only fear and anger about not having the control over someone's choice to make an irreversible decision.

Even that is used as an argument as a special pleading, "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem".

There isn't any magical new and careful therapy that can fix things as broken as I feel. So that special pleading of permanent solution is a fear based argument without any real substance. None of these non suicidal pepe say "I understand that hasn't worked, here is what specifically can help when you have failed at 25 kinds of meds, cognitive, didactic, electroshock and other therapies. Because they can't actually come up with an idea so their fear just causes them to spit out moral high ground arguments and even say statements that change the framework like "my son took his own life and he had so much to live for"

No one ever says, "I can't imagine the pain he must have been in to take his own life and I wish that mental health would break some new ground in this strange case of having no solution other than wanting to die"

 

[Darkover]

i just wish everyone who was suicidal in the word know about this website and that they was here on it, it's by far the best website on the internet for suicidal people to talk openly about suicide without any suppression of speech.

 

[Tintypographer]

People are so shocked when they ask me, "Tell me you care most about in the world" and I say "nothing, I wish I had never existed and my only respite is the nightly period of unconscious dreaming"

I see the world as a continuous set of meaningless painful interactions that only have importance because we assigned them a value while we are conscious and exist. It doesn't matter that they don't see it that way. They get upset and say "you need some help" or "that's a pretty cynical way to view the world" it makes non suicidal people upset and even pity me for what goes through my head.

I don't complain about them but I can see how frustrated others get heating how my brain works. This place made me realize that there aren't hundreds of other people who feel hopeless and lost with support that doesn't help them, there are millions. We have a large swath of the population who feels as though the world doesn't matter and that pain and anguish leaves them feeling that the world of interpersonal relationships is causing more pain than helping.

Whatever the reasons are, pp

 

[lotus11]

Agreed, this website is the best :) I have been on here for a few years now, round about the time a girl I know killed her self. Hoping that I can find the street myself.