Texting him before I go (Just a thought)

[greyblue_bian]

I want to text him now but there's nothing I want or need to say to him and I don't want to talk to him anymore. I got the answers I needed regarding everything he did to me. However, I don't actually want to go without saying bye to him or just saying something to him. Like, I hope you're fine or something even though I shouldn't because he doesn't actually care whether or not I'm alive + fucked me up even more and treated me like shit. But, I still want to say something. I do/did love him so I think that's the only reason why I want to. I'm not wanting or going to tell him what I'm doing, though. Just thinking of dropping in and out the day when I CTB so when he just leaves me on read, I'm not hurt anymore or if he tries luring me back in just to use me I won't go back.

Sorry, I completely forgot to put that by "him" I mean my ex. Also, I'm just looking for some relating people or some advice from this.

 

[DefinitelyReady]

I think it's a bad idea personally. I've thought of doing the same. Ultimately, I think it's a trap for us: if they reply, it will emotionally send us in a spiral that we think we are ready to handle if they do, but unlikely will not and if they dont, it will put us further down even if we think we won't be affected either way. If we wouldn't be affected, we wouldn't want to text them let alone risk what might happen. Maybe we subconsciously think they can save us, but they can't; only we can save ourselves. We have to learn to be okay for ourselves, on our own, with knowing we'll never speak with them again. Only then could we consider a text, and we would need to know exactly why we are texting. Not worth the quicksand. But only you know your situation so you do you. Best of fate :)

 

[greyblue_bian]

I think it's a bad idea personally. I've thought of doing the same. Ultimately, I think it's a trap for us: if they reply, it will emotionally send us in a spiral that we think we are ready to handle if they do, but unlikely will not and if they dont, it will put us further down even if we think we won't be affected either way. If we wouldn't be affected, we wouldn't want to text them let alone risk what might happen. Maybe we subconsciously think they can save us, but they can't; only we can save ourselves. We have to learn to be okay for ourselves, on our own, with knowing we'll never speak with them again. Only then could we consider a text, and we would need to know exactly why we are texting. Not worth the quicksand. But only you know your situation so you do you. Best of fate :)

Thank you for the advice :)

 

[abchia]

There's also a chance that by messaging them, someone might discover you on that same day and throw off your plans.

 

[greyblue_bian]

There's also a chance that by messaging them, someone might discover you on that same day and throw off your plans.

In my case, I don't have to be worried about this because it was a long-distance relationship and he never got to know any of my friends or family, so he doesn't have any of their contact info including anyone's social media accounts. He also doesn't know my address so I don't have to worry about him calling someone over from where he lives either.

 

[sugarh1gh]

I would do the same, but scheduled message. I don't want any answers nor want to have any expectations.

 

[Roadrunner]

Honestly, I wouldn't imho

 

[Worndown]

Depending on how the relationship ended, forgetting an ex is difficult. I am guessing he left you after some bad times.
For your sake, ignore him. If you are leaving us forever, focus your energy on you and your effort. You are worth more than him.