Ten threads we haven't seen yet but probably will soon:

[fightingsioux]

#64 Can I ctb by broomhandle?

I can see it now, "look! They're giving people ideas and glamorizing suicide!"

"I don't think it's possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor."
--Christopher Hitchens

 

[Quarky00]

...I don't think the organs would be in the best condition after that

If I jump from a moving train to a bridge will the organs be okay ?

 

[Inferdan]

If I jump from a moving train to a bridge will the organs be okay ?

Depends. If the train is at a height above the bridge, then maybe the organs would be safe. If it's level with the bridge, they'd 100% be safe, unless you trip. One thing's for sure: the morticians would be questioning why there was a chemical in the rectum at the morgue.

 

[s1mplem3]

About octopus I already know the answer:

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

#67 My mom found my tweezers and is now checking my eyebrows every day

#68 [Venting] The plural of octopus isn't octopuses

#69 What excuse can I use for buying charcoal briquettes?

 

[Deleted member 1465]

#68 [Venting] The plural of octopus isn't octopuses

I wasn't sure, I thought it was octopi, so I looked it up on wiki:

Spoiler: Octopuses

Etymology and pluralisation
The scientific Latin term octopus was derived from Ancient Greek ὀκτώπους, a compound form of ὀκτώ (oktō, "eight") and πούς (pous, "foot"), itself a variant form of ὀκτάπους, a word used for example by Alexander of Tralles (c. 525–605) for the common octopus.[4][5][6] The standard pluralised form of "octopus" in English is "octopuses";[7] the Ancient Greek plural ὀκτώποδες, "octopodes" (/ɒkˈtɒpədiːz/), has also been used historically.[8] The alternative plural "octopi" is considered grammatically incorrect because it wrongly assumes that octopus is a Latin second declension "-us" noun or adjective when, in either Greek or Latin, it is a third declension noun.[9][10] Fowler's Modern English Usage states that the only acceptable plural in English is "octopuses", that "octopi" is misconceived, and "octopodes" pedantic;[11][12][13] the latter is nonetheless used frequently enough to be acknowledged by the descriptivist Merriam-Webster 11th Collegiate Dictionary and Webster's New World College Dictionary. The Oxford English Dictionary lists "octopuses", "octopi", and "octopodes", in that order, reflecting frequency of use, calling "octopodes" rare and noting that "octopi" is based on a misunderstanding.[14] The New Oxford American Dictionary (3rd Edition, 2010) lists "octopuses" as the only acceptable pluralisation, and indicates that "octopodes" is still occasionally used, but that "octopi" is incorrect.[15]

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Octopus

 

[Dear Flabby]

@GoodPersonEffed
#16 Do I have to take Meto when using charcoal method?
#17 Would jumping from my bed be lethal?
#18 Do I have to administer CO rectally?
#19 Would shooting in the ass be as fatal as in the head?

Answer to #19 : Since your head appears to be up your ass, I think that you have answered your own question!

If I jump from a moving train to a bridge will the organs be okay ?

Only if you pack yourself in a cooler first!

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I wasn't sure, I thought it was octopi, so I looked it up on wiki:

Spoiler: Octopuses

Etymology and pluralisation
The scientific Latin term octopus was derived from Ancient Greek ὀκτώπους, a compound form of ὀκτώ (oktō, "eight") and πούς (pous, "foot"), itself a variant form of ὀκτάπους, a word used for example by Alexander of Tralles (c. 525–605) for the common octopus.[4][5][6] The standard pluralised form of "octopus" in English is "octopuses";[7] the Ancient Greek plural ὀκτώποδες, "octopodes" (/ɒkˈtɒpədiːz/), has also been used historically.[8] The alternative plural "octopi" is considered grammatically incorrect because it wrongly assumes that octopus is a Latin second declension "-us" noun or adjective when, in either Greek or Latin, it is a third declension noun.[9][10] Fowler's Modern English Usage states that the only acceptable plural in English is "octopuses", that "octopi" is misconceived, and "octopodes" pedantic;[11][12][13] the latter is nonetheless used frequently enough to be acknowledged by the descriptivist Merriam-Webster 11th Collegiate Dictionary and Webster's New World College Dictionary. The Oxford English Dictionary lists "octopuses", "octopi", and "octopodes", in that order, reflecting frequency of use, calling "octopodes" rare and noting that "octopi" is based on a misunderstanding.[14] The New Oxford American Dictionary (3rd Edition, 2010) lists "octopuses" as the only acceptable pluralisation, and indicates that "octopodes" is still occasionally used, but that "octopi" is incorrect.[15]

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Octopus

I so wanted to anger react for humor.

Edit: F*ck it, it's going down.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I so wanted to anger react for humor.

LOL I actually thought of you when I looked up octopuses/octopi - I wanted to check my facts so i wouldn't get caught out TBH I've always used octopi and octopuses sounds wrong to me but hey.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

#70 Can you ctb by eating a ghost pepper?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

LOL I actually thought of you when I looked up octopuses/octopi - I wanted to check my facts so i wouldn't get caught out TBH I've always used octopi and octopuses sounds wrong to me but hey.

They taught us "octopi" in school!

It was a parochial school. Lutheran. They hit us on the knuckles with an octopus tentacle for reinforcement, and it stuck.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Answer to #19 : Since your head appears to be up your ass, I think that you have answered your own question!

#71 Can you ctb by putting Faust's head in your ass?

OP: I must try this.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

#71 Can you ctb by putting Faust's head in your ass?

OP: I must try this.

They taught us "octopi" in school!

It was a parochial school. Lutheran. They hit us on the knuckles with an octopus tentacle for reinforcement, and it stuck.

It stuck? That sounds...messy. I went to Roman Catholic schools. I was taught by priests and nuns. I have an A level in guilt to prove it.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

#72 (a more serious one) If a huge tornado was coming straight towards you, would you seek shelter or let it hit you?

 

[Brackenshire]

You g

#72 (a more serious one) If a huge tornado was coming straight towards you, would you seek shelter or let it hit you?

Arms wide open...here i am

 

[Lost in a Dream]

You g

Arms wide open...here i am

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

#73: is ctb via coronavirus effective and painless? Where can I get coronavirus?

 

[Brackenshire]

#73: is ctb via coronavirus effective and painless? Where can I get coronavirus?

From what I've read it's given away at the er department

From what I've read it's given away at the er department

O ya cruise ship got a special going on for it

From what I've read it's given away at the er department

O ya cruise ship got a special going on for it

From what I've read it's given away at the er department

O ya cruise ship got a special going on for it

 

[Lost in a Dream]

#74 Can you OD on hilarious GIFs?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Oh dear, I feel bad for chortling. LOL wait until the pro-life group quote some of these out of context

Every time I come on this thread, there are over 40 members viewing, and over 20 guests.

I keep thinking someone is going to quote me for resenting babies who die of SIDS and denounce me for daring to call myself a GoodPerson.

 

[DaFloof]

I keep thinking someone is going to quote me for resenting babies who die of SIDS and denounce me for daring to call myself a GoodPerson.

As dark as most of our senses of humor probably are by this point, dead babies are something even we have a problem admitting chuckling about. I will admit, however, I got a snicker from it, because I am without shame anymore XD

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

As dark as most of our senses of humor probably are by this point, dead babies are something even we have a problem admitting chuckling about. I will admit, however, I got a snicker from it, because I am without shame anymore XD

I know! It's only humorous in this very specific context of lampooning SS post titles, but it's still cringe-inducing. I'm a BadPersonEffed for writing it. (I keep seeing the sad Bart Simpson avatar being ashamed of and disappointed in me.)

 

[marcusuk63]

#73: is ctb via coronavirus effective and painless? Where can I get coronavirus?

You get it by running out of toilet roll from what i can gather .

 

[Suicide_vampire]

#75 How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, If a woodchuck could chuck wood.

 

[mesohappy]

#65 I wanna put SN in my butt while jumping from a bridge in front of a moving train while slitting my wrists -- can I donate my organs?

Cool cuz...

 

[DaFloof]

#76 Goodbye, everyone. The "Ten Threads We Haven't Seen yet But Probably Will Soon" thread has started to taper off with no new posts, and it was my last reason not to CTB. Starting my regimen now.

 

[BFishy]

#36
SN or bath salt's? Which is faster and which tastes better?
Sorry I must have missed many steps

 

[Lostnotfound]

#77 I am a pro-lifer and I would like to have a serious non-judgemental discussion as to why you should not CTB

That would trigger a mega-thread I think :)



EDIT: this was an attempt at humour - sorry if anyone took it the wrong way

 

[BFishy]

#77 I am a pro-lifer and I would like to have a serious non-judgemental discussion as to why you should not CTB

That would trigger a mega-thread I think :)

Personally anyways I only survive and stay alive for my daughter. There is nothing else in this world for me. Not doctors to fix my physical condition or depression and not true love to give me value ( other than my daughter). I mean from a woman. So my pain will never end. I have lived with it for basically my whole life. Other than making doctors rich or catering to others that don't appreciate you what's the point?

 

[Lostnotfound]

Personally anyways I only survive and stay alive for my daughter. There is nothing else in this world for me. Not doctors to fix my physical condition or depression and not true love to give me value ( other than my daughter). I mean from a woman. So my pain will never end. I have lived with it for basically my whole life. Other than making doctors rich or catering to others that don't appreciate you what's the point?

A pro-lifer will still try to talk you out of your decision