Help Temporary recovery

[FailureToAll]

I'm not sure I should really post in this section. I know I will never properly recover and I still plan to ctb as I know I won't have a future.

But I can't ctb right now, I won't get into the reasons on this post but I doubt i will get chance this year. But I'm really struggling to survive like this. I need to do something just to make myself able to cope better until my time to ctb.

Even if I can't fix my mental health I think I should atleast try to improve my physical health and get into some routines to keep myself afloat. But I don't know how to motivate myself. Everything is so pointless since I don't plan on living long and it's so hard to get up everyday, if it weren't for my nephew wanting to see me everyday I wouldn't get up at all or maybe only for a hour for my parents sake.

I've been sleeping all day and awake all night. I think I'll start by staying awake all night and day to try and fix my sleep a little. But I'm not sure I have the will power to maintain a sleep schedule anyway when getting up is so hard and falling asleep is so hard and everything feels so overly fucking hard.

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has advice? I'm not sure there's really anything other than me just getting some willpower. I'm such a weak person. Idk it's all so pointless, maybe I should of put this in off topic it seems too hopeless for recovery but idk how to change it now

 

[UtopianSoliloquies]

It's very normal to have very little motivation when you feel this way. It's not your fault so you should try to be kinder to yourself about that. If that's what is stopping you from making any commitments to change though, I suggest trying to put yourself in situations where you are naturally inclined to do the thing you want to do. For instance, it sounds kind of silly but when I had trouble finding the motivation to get out of bed in the morning, I would drink lots of water before going to bed so that I would need to go to the bathroom when I woke up and therefore had no choice but to get up. Another example would be the fact that convenient sources of instant gratification like TikTok can very easily cause you to procrastinate on doing other tasks that you know are more important, so if you catch yourself wasting time on something you probably shouldn't be spending too much time on, try making it as hard as possible for you to access that thing. This is all to say that when you have any modicum of motivation at all, use it to mould your environment in ways that make it easier to do the things you know you should be doing and harder to dwell on the things you shouldn't.

 

[FailureToAll]

That water trick is smart! I might have to try that. Thank you for the response, I really appreciate it.