Telling people who care to back off

[Exile]

Hi. I have some very close friends. A few of them keep tabs on me because they know a lot about what I've gone through. They have each made me promise to call them before I do anything. I feel bad about lying to them but I won't tell them beforehand because: a) it won't help; b) I don't want anyone to stop me; c) they will feel guilty that they weren't able to prevent it. One of them talked me out of an attempt five years ago and I don't want to put him in the position again to feel responsibility for what I do. Is there a good and non-scary-for-the-other-person way to tell such people that I don't want to discuss my intentions or mental health anymore? Thanks.

 

[ScottPilgram]

Just say it's not their business because it's quite frankly it's not. Ok sorry I don't know how to turn this italics thing off and I don't know where the bold thing came from. But anyways. It's not their business unless you make it their business and want to tell them. Just tell them when they ask "I don't want to talk about it" and if they press say "no mean s no and it's not your business it's mine so stop asking unless I come to you about it"

 

[waived]

Hi. I have some very close friends. A few of them keep tabs on me because they know a lot about what I've gone through. They have each made me promise to call them before I do anything. I feel bad about lying to them but I won't tell them beforehand because: a) it won't help; b) I don't want anyone to stop me; c) they will feel guilty that they weren't able to prevent it. One of them talked me out of an attempt five years ago and I don't want to put him in the position again to feel responsibility for what I do. Is there a good and non-scary-for-the-other-person way to tell such people that I don't want to discuss my intentions or mental health anymore? Thanks.

Talk it out to yourself in a room, and write it out too maybe, while imagining the other person's response? Pretend you are the other person and respond to yourself in the varying ways you think it's possible to happen. Might appear like a ridiculous idea or make you feel silly at first but if you get into it you can learn to cast some genuine magic spells.

 

[21Neberg]

Can't you tell them what you've just told us? You care too much about their well-being to occupy them with your problems. Honesty is key in friendship.

 

[Son_of_Sisyphus]

As someone who watched a friend end it there is nothing either side can do or say that will make it turn out better. Bargaining and pleading on my part did nothing but prolong my own suffering. They had made up their mind and it was up to me to accept it and make peace with the reality that they are no more.