Help telling a new partner about my mental health

[willitpass]

I've been doing very well lately. This is the longest I have gone in my whole life without any hospital trips and I haven't been actively suicidal in months, and even the passive suicidal thoughts have become fleeting. I am arguably at the best point I have ever been in my life. I still have struggles, my disordered eating thoughts and self harm thoughts are the battle I'm currently working on, and I will always have a certain degree of depression, but I feel comfortable where I am at and they are all things I am able to manage.

I've also recently started seeing someone. I just met him so he knows nothing about my past and I haven't told him anything about my mental health other than he knows I see a therapist. But if this relationship lasts I don't think my suicide attempts or hospitalizations would be something I would want to keep from them, since they are such a huge part of my life, and I cope with humor so I use stories from them as anecdotes quite often. I'm a very open person so not telling a long term partner isn't something I'm interested in. I'm worried though, because I'm scared that when the time comes to tell him he'll run away or get angry or panic or just otherwise not have a good reaction. Im just unsure of how to go about it. I won't be telling him until we've been together at least a couple more months and I want it to be the right timing, but when it is the right time what donI say? How do I go about this?

 

[Little_Suzy]

Tell him you're depressed—depression is a symptom of most mental health issues. Depression, anxiety, and stress affect appetite and mood, causing your disordered eating.

Tell him you're in treatment, taking medicine, therapy, etc. (If you are)

Without revealing your entire medical history, "depression" pretty much covers everything.

Let him inquire about his concerns. Answer his questions honestly. Answer yes, if he asks whether you've been to IP. Continue to answer questions.

Just bear in mind the role that partners play in our life. You see a therapist so you don't have to tell people everything. Your therapist/doctors are the people who help you with your mental health conditions. Our partners are there to accept us.

 

[woh6]

I'm happy to hear you're doing well. He knows you see a therapist, that's a good start. Do you share the other struggles you have with him?
I don't think he has much reason to be scared or angry since you're working on yourself (which he knows) and haven't been actively suicidal in the last months. So remind him of that, to maybe ease any worry he might feel.
Remember that if one were to have a heavily negative reaction to this, they wouldn't have been a good partner anyways.
Good luck!