Talking about SI in Therapy

[SleeplessSoul]

I've been having therapy since January . I took an overdose in February so that kind of since January started discussions about me feeling suicidal and cutting and stuff like that. The past month and a half I'm been seriously planning how I would do it. I started researching what I'd buy that kind of thing and I stopped really talking about being suicidal. I've been kind of stuck in between things waiting for the pandemic to be over so I could be free to ctb and waiting to hear back about the PhD I applied to. I started to hope I wouldn't get onto the PhD so I wouldn't change my mind.

I got onto the PhD and I have funding. I'm so excited and it feels like things are going right, but I'm terrified. It doesn't make sense that I've gone from having solid plans to being excited for the next 3.5/4 years of my life. I'm hoping it will help me stay focused on staying alive and recovering but I know an important part of that is going to be talking to my psychologist about it.

So...

How do I do it? I don't want to act like everything has completely changed in one day but I also don't want to worry her about something I'm 99% sure I won't act on. I feel like I should be honest that I've been making more serious plans because I want to acknowledge it and work on it before I run out of sessions.

 

[Yomyom]

I think that if you want to recover you have to tell your therapist the truth, I hope he trust you enough.

I got onto the PhD and I have funding

Congratulations! Happy for you

How do I do it? I don't want to act like everything has completely changed in one day but I also don't want to worry her about something I'm 99% sure I won't act on. I feel like I should be honest that I've been making more serious plans because I want to acknowledge it and work on it before I run out of sessions.

Changes takes time, so take your time telling him about it, most of the chance he will understand and will try to help you,
you don't have to change instantly, it's a long road, and no one said it's have to happen now...
Start focus on your new things in life, and if you didn't go yet, I suggest you you go to Psychiatrist for medical treatment

I wish you full and great recovery, and good luck with you PhD

 

[Dead beat dad]

Hey friend,

I'm sorry to hear for your troubles but I'm also glad to hear that there is light shining in to your darkness.
It sounds like you've got a bit of a conundrum on your hands, I think I know the feeling of having a fairly life changing event impact on your feelings towards CTB.
I think a lot of people can relate to what you have going on here, in particular with respect to things like work and jobs.
For some it's a combination of things that tip them over the edge and drive them to ctb and an upturn in work, relationships, the weather, a myriad of things can offer reprieve.
Again for some that might be all they need, and the single most vexing issue is that which has been resolved, but for others they still need to get in to those deep rooted issues that will always be there in the background and may never be fixed, only managed.
I think you're right to be honest with your therapist and they will probably have had this with other patients before and may be able to offer you some sense in this confused space.
Importantly (for me at least) is that you've been able to see some light in this and maybe that is showing you a way forward. I sincerely hope it is brother and I sincerely wish you good luck with your endeavours.
Peace

DBD