Talk About Dating App Experiences

[imissmycat]

It's pretty horrific from the female side. An unending barrage of sexual harassment, fetishization and objectification, no matter how clear you make it on your profile that you only want a serious relationship. Digging through endless pornsick trash for the distant possibility of finding one decent-ish man becomes less and less worth the effort as time goes on, hence why so many women just jump ship on these apps (Tinder's userbase is reportedly 80% male and other apps have similar stats).

It varies between countries. Some countries in Europe have an even 50/50 split of male/female. The US is mostly male as you say.

I mean if you want a serious relationship, why would you even make a Tinder profile? There are serious dating websites for people who want to get married. Like the person above just said, "it sucks for everyone", except for those who want and are able to get laid.

I always thought that we should take the frustrated women and the frustrated men who complain about men and women online, put them in a room and let things happen.

In the end it's a much deeper issue of expectations, attitude and culture(?). People don't seem to want a forever relationship, marriage, children. So everyone adjusts their behaviour accordingly and it gets worse and worse.

I've met some shitty people off tinder, but I've had a decent experience. "Dick on demand" is how I phrase it. For years, I could jump on tinder and be in someone's bed in an hour.

I don't want to do anything but have sexy time when I meet someone from tinder. So I like the idea of coming over, doing the things, and never talking again.

Horrible for real relationships imo.

The frustrated people in here should read this and burn it into their brains. It's for hookups and if you're not attractive enough or not DTF, forget it and find a relationship instead.

Especially the guys and OP: if you are not already hooking up within a week, you're not in demand, just forget it.

 

[pyx]

I mean if you want a serious relationship, why would you even make a Tinder profile? There are serious dating websites for people who want to get married. Like the person above just said, "it sucks for everyone", except for those who want and are able to get laid.

if you have no presence in society then no wonder people will turn to a platform which is deeply embedded within our culture

I always thought that we should take the frustrated women and the frustrated men who complain about men and women online, put them in a room and let things happen.

lmao this would end terribly

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Have you ever had an online female friend?

Sure. I've even had lots of irl female friends. Just friends though.

 

[astr4]

Sure. I've even had lots of irl female friends. Just friends though.

not saying to be friends with women just to date them, but tbh, that's not a bad place to start. idk at least for me i find it much easier to date a friend than a stranger? of course ymmv.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

not saying to be friends with women just to date them, but tbh, that's not a bad place to start. idk at least for me i find it much easier to date a friend than a stranger? of course ymmv.

I've never been romantically interested in any of my female friends except for one from nine years ago and she said she would have accepted me if I just hadn't been too slow. She had a boyfriend at the time and she would always complain to me about him but at some point I had to cut her off because it hurt seeing her choose someone else over me which I know makes me selfish and evil and horrible to women. Truthfully I don't really deserve anyone and I definitely don't want to have to hurt any of my friends female or not.

 

[Cinnamorolls]

There are serious dating websites for people who want to get married.

What are they? I only know of Match which is well known to be super dead and hardly have anyone on it these days.

 

[ms_beaverhousen]

On the male side of things, my experience was almost entirely negative. At least 750+ swipes with no dates or anything, and only a handful of messages exchanged. Not to sound arrogant, but nothing about my profile should've been a red flag: lawyer, 6 feet tall, independent, range of hobbies, pretty decent looking, athletic frame . . . and it was like I was the most useless piece of trash there was, lol. What else do you do? You just feel broken. All day, seeing pictures of these women and thinking "maybe..." just to never hear anything. Or they do match and just never answer your messages... that one might be worse. Different apps: hookup, long term, etc., same experience. You start naturally feeling completely inferior as a being.

It was the first time I had been single since early undergrad, and it completely turned me off of dating. I really wanted to do like they used to in the good old days: meeting someone for coffee/dinner/drink without much pressure. Could do that with a few people, not looking for hookups or anything, just to get to know them and get a feel for interacting with different types of people. Then, you follow up with someone you really hit it off with to go on a second. Doesn't that sound nice?

No. Even if you manage to get one woman out of literal hundreds to respond to your first message, probably with just "hey", there is all this pressure. You gotta nail it, or you'll get tossed back in the trash can.

It is really, really bad for your brain, imo. Gives you this natural reaction to people like your existence is a burden to them, and every word out of your mouth you're worried about ruining the relationship - not by messing up, but by simply not being good enough to stand out. Because, average or above average might as well just rot away.

But, then I did get one date and we're getting hitched so ... I guess I can't complain too much. She's incredible, and I got very lucky. But boy when we were going out for like the 4th date and decided to be exclusive I was happy to erase that cancer from my phone.

Ha I forgot about this. Lol my best experiences were from me mssging first I am so old... I did "site dating" before apps were out The design resembled a more modern Myspace

 

[Sulyya]

I did end up finding someone from Bumble soon after posting this thread...been almost 3 weeks and going well, I think... still feeling suicidal regularly though but it might be helping a bit.

 

[LunarLight]

Met my wife on Tinder, AMA.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Met my wife on Tinder, AMA.

How tall are you?

 

[LunarLight]

How tall are you?

1m77 / 5′10″ (I'm a woman).