”Taking the easy way out” and collective gaslighting

[idiotstillwantstodie]

Whoever invented this phrase was so completely full of shit. I think most people understand this too, but still it's a form of socially accepted, "collective gaslighting" to say killing yourself is easy. If suicide was socially accepted there would be a lot more people committing suicide, simple as that.

In fact this kind of collective gaslighting happens all the time, most people just don't notice it since they have never been properly introduced to how gaslighting works. The "hivemind" decides that this subject is something we will all lie about and those who dare to give an opposing view will be silenced. Most people wont even try to swim against the tide, they just change their direction without thinking about it as they are conditioned to do from childhood. How the aftermaths of different wars get handled by the societies involved in them is an another great example of this.

There is literally almost anything easier than killing yourself. Even with N it really goes beyond ones comfort zone. I don't have any sensible reason to live, but i get this weird shame when i try to get to the right mental state to ctb. This crazy aggression follows that feeling and then I no longer want to die, but want to harm the people responsible for my shame instead. I feel like people have had their disgusting tentacles inside my head all my life, feeding me their shit. That's why i refuse to talk with a "professional". All they do is they feed you false hope, but it's not because they care and want to help. It's because you are still young and can still be leeched on by the society. Even those who genuinely want to help have absolutely nothing to say, they just open their mouth and someone else talks through them.

It's true, it takes selfishness to do it. But it also takes a certain lack of narcissism. If i kept on living i could probably help some other suicidal people to ctb. But that's hardly a substitute for having a life, at least for me.

 

[demuic]

I don't know what would be wrong with taking the easy way out anyway. Why would you want the hard way out? What's the purpose? There's no reward or benefit to continuing to struggle needlessly.

 

[puppet_nihilist]

I don't know what would be wrong with taking the easy way out anyway. Why would you want the hard way out? What's the purpose? There's no reward or benefit to continuing to struggle needlessly.

Exactly. I often get lost in my overthinking trying to justify that it's not the easy way out but this thought eventually comes to my mind and it's really freeing. Paraphrasing what you said, even if it is the easy way out, what's the benefit of prolonging pointless torture?

 

[GentleJerk]

I don't know what would be wrong with taking the easy way out anyway. Why would you want the hard way out? What's the purpose? There's no reward or benefit to continuing to struggle needlessly.

Well said, good point! Even though nothing about it is easy. It's like some people don't even listen to what they're actually saying

 

[idiotstillwantstodie]

I don't know what would be wrong with taking the easy way out anyway. Why would you want the hard way out? What's the purpose? There's no reward or benefit to continuing to struggle needlessly.

I guess this is the narcissism thing i was talking about. Some people tend to see life and everything in it more or less as a competition of sorts. And i guess resilience is admirable, when followed with success. Rags to riches etc.
I think it takes this kind of almost "schizoid" indifference to the world to be able to completely free yourself from this kind of thought. Some kind of genuine absolute inability to connect with others, even through negative emotions.

I have been more or less sick all my life, yet i made it all the way in here. I had to fight because i had no choice, and now that i have a choice i can't stop fighting. I know very well that the shame and anger i mentioned are just a part of my survival instinct, but they are so damn hard to overcome. I used to be afraid of the pain, but now i find that i'm just unable to give up. Maybe i'm just looking at the whole thing the wrong way.

 

[Wingspan]

Exactly. I often get lost in my overthinking trying to justify that it's not the easy way out but this thought eventually comes to my mind and it's really freeing. Paraphrasing what you said, even if it is the easy way out, what's the benefit of prolonging pointless torture?

The most reproductive of cults are dependent on the collective fetishism of suffering. Its especially prevalent in religion, this idea that you should be grateful for the deity for granting you relief to the suffering it imposed onto you. To be thankful that you were granted fuel for your addiction, rather than be sour that you had the addiction forced onto you. People feel that they are somehow noble by enduring pointless suffering, since its pro-life sentiment. Its extremely performative.

 

[meetapple]

That's why i refuse to talk with a "professional". All they do is they feed you false hope, but it's not because they care and want to help. It's because you are still young and can still be leeched on by the society. Even those who genuinely want to help have absolutely nothing to say, they just open their mouth and someone else talks through them.

I agree that most therapists have nothing to say. I just finished therapy with a psychologist I hired for her expertise with social anxiety. Two years and a lot of money later she is saying she has helped as much as she can and that I should see a therapist who has more expertise dealing with psychoses. I don't think I am any better off with respect to my social situation than when I started. I don't think I'll be seeing a new therapist.

 

[eternalpeace]

Anyone who has tried and failed (especially more than once) can tell you that it is, in fact, NOT that easy. I'm so tired of the old "well if you REALLY wanted to die, you'd be dead by now". Well gee, "if you REALLY wanted to drive a Porsche, you would have one by now".

Most of us do not have ready access to lethal means, or can't get the privacy. Obviously people manage to do it, but it is not easy. Even the best of plans can go awry, and even the most lethal means can be survived.

As Susana Kaysen once said " A successful suicide demands good organization and a cool head, both of which are usually incompatible with the suicidal state of mind." ...

 

[Bleak]

It's one of those easy to say, emotional guilt trip phrases that people can use without thinking too hard. It's funny if you do stop and think about it though, are they admitting that life is harder than death? I think most of the time people would rather choose what is easier and less painful. I think there is an element of "I am miserable and suffering and therefore you should be too".

 

[tieiwi]

At this point I just agree with whatever is thrown at me.

 

[eternalpeace]

I agree that most therapists have nothing to say. I just finished therapy with a psychologist I hired for her expertise with social anxiety. Two years and a lot of money later she is saying she has helped as much as she can and that I should see a therapist who has more expertise dealing with psychoses. I don't think I am any better off with respect to my social situation than when I started. I don't think I'll be seeing a new therapist.

I have seen A LOT of therapists. I've lost count at this time. There were, in total, two that were amazingly helpful, and I think if I had been able to stay with either one of them longer, I might have had a shot at a decent life. The vast majority of therapists that I dealt with were helpful in a crisis, or easy to talk to in order to feel better for five minutes, but weren't really able to make any progress with the underlying issues (or even identify them). A few just annoyed me for no discernible reason. There were 2 that often said bizarre things, and were about as useful as a lighthouse in the middle of the desert.

I do believe therapy can be helpful, and that it is something that people (not just suicidal or depressed people, but all people) should try at some point. But finding the right therapist is difficult, and if you can't pay for one, or don't have insurance to cover it, you are not going to have as many options, if you can even get in to see one at all. (Wait lists here are at least 6 months).

And all the therapy in the world won't fix certain issues that make life difficult to tolerate (lack of affordable housing, lack of food security or income security, systemic discrimination, etc). People who spend their time preaching about therapy should use their time to advocate for publicly funded therapy (not just hotlines), or advocating for other causes that would make the world a better place to live, or just being a kind friend to someone in distress. I have had a lot of empathetic comments (and unsolicited advice) over the years, but I can count on one hand the amount of people who actually substantively helped me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Many people are very delusional. Of course there is nothing easy about suicide, all humans are programmed to survive, even know many of us want to die. Non suicidal people who have not planned or attempted will never be able to comprehend what it is like. Suicide should not be so stigmatised, in a world like this wanting suicide can be perfectly rational.

 

[sadeyesWA]

If ctb is the easy way out, that means death from old age is the hard way, and why the hell would anyone choose the hard way? The gaslighters admit that life is hard, and ctb, in their view, is easier than living 70+ years. I like to think of it that way. Naturally I want the easy way, I'm not stupid. :)