Surviving 40 attempts

[Jisatsu]

Between now and this time last year I made a dumb amount of attempts, ending up in the hospital at least a dozen times for not fully committing to my own death . All of this is before I found this website btw so I had no real knowledge on methods. These are all pathetic attempts now that I look back ... but the intention was still there
I cutting open my veins, overdosed on oxycodone as well as so many tons of benadryl.
I hung myself over and over never getting far besides passing out and ending up on the floor a few times.

I succeeded 2 times by flatlining but was soon resuscitated. Death isn't pretty it's a nothingness no one could ever imagine.

I just suggest that if you want to CTB then make sure you are hundred percent down and don't mess around like I did.
I've given myself permanent brain damage from this and I don't want anyone else to fuck up like I did.

 

[deletednumber]

I hung myself over and over never getting far besides passing out and ending up on the floor a few times

I know how this feels....i thought hanging was more easy as on the suicide news it appears but when I tried it many times I failed and that left me so desperate.

I succeeded 2 times by flatlining but was soon resuscitated. Death isn't pretty it's a nothingness no one could ever imagine.

I am sorry,can you explain this better if it isn't uncomfortable?
How was dying?was it painful?
How were they able to resuscitate you?
Sorry for all the questions....

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you've suffered a lot, it's so cruel to me how trying to die can go wrong and just lead to more suffering, I wish there's the option to simply cease existing in peace and never suffer ever again. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[conflagration]

Death isn't pretty it's a nothingness no one could ever imagine.

Could you please say little bit more about it? Nothingness seems pretty cool - like there is no suffering.

 

[Jisatsu]

I know how this feels....i thought hanging was more easy as on the suicide news it appears but when I tried it many times I failed and that left me so desperate.


I am sorry,can you explain this better if it isn't uncomfortable?
How was dying?was it painful?
How were they able to resuscitate you?
Sorry for all the questions....

Dying feels like you're fading away , it hurts but you feel peace . They hooked me up with these stickers all over my body and shocked my heart back into rhythm.

Could you please say little bit more about it? Nothingness seems pretty cool - like there is no suffering.

Its the void , you just experience nothing .
It was like I skipped a moment in time and woke up.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I send you a big

 

[deletednumber]

Dying feels like you're fading away , it hurts but you feel peace . They hooked me up with these stickers all over my body and shocked my heart back into rhythm.

Its the void , you just experience nothing .
It was like I skipped a moment in time and woke up.

I can imagine how you felt when you had to come back to life.
I'm sorry
Death seems peaceful...I hope I succeed soon

 

[Salting the wounds]

Just out of curiosity, how has your family reacted to all these attempts?

 

[Jisatsu]

Just out of curiosity, how has your family reacted to all these attempts?

They cared for the time, now they don't