Survival Isn't Strength

[Anonymoususer1234]

I get praise from therapists and the like because I have been though hard times and yet somehow managed to stay alive. I get why they say it but I don't think about things that way at all.

I could've killed myself, sure. But it's not like I was actively choosing not to. It's more like... any time I came close to making an attempt my survival instinct would kick in and I would be unable to go though with it.

I didn't survive because I was uniquely strong. I survived because that's what the human body is built to do.

 

[The anhedonic one]

When it comes to CTB, I view survival instinct as a weakness as opposed to strength.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Going along with inertia isn't strength. It's passive. It's going along for the ride. Living is ideal for non- confrontational pussies basically, which is paradoxical given that life can be really hard and requires resilience at times.

 

[FuneralCry]

I never understand those people who say that someone is strong for continuing existing, as if someone doesn't find a way to leave they basically have no choice but to stay here and suicide really is difficult in this world. I bet that if suicide was as easy as just choosing to be gone many people would choose to leave over enduring this pointless existence, I could never see any benefit to suffering so unnecessarily which is all that existing is.

 

[tiny_dancer]

So accurate. It's like pushing through hard times and suffering just to stay alive deserves some badge of honour to most people. Personally I think it takes much more strength to choose quality of life and end things when it's no longer there, and to overcome SI of course.

 

[Sweet Tart]

I used to pride myself on my perseverence, how much I could withstand and just keep going. Probably a result of childhood trauma, etc. The "push forward at all costs" mentality sunk me further and further into depression until I got to the point of not seeing any way out or having the energy to do anything. This is such an interesting topic, there's so much to it.

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Yeee like the above comment said there's so much to this topic.

I really hate people that comment on my strength through shitty situations as if I had a fucking choice. My motivation for moving on my own was literally to kill myself like...

It just so happened that some parts of life I never got to experience like love & self love & joy/peace came with it. So for awhile I thought well maybe it was worth it... but honestly? Nah...

Its not right to celebrate hardship and it doesn't fucking make one stronger and tbh even if it does it doesn't make life easier. It doesnt make it hurt less. No one wants to live through hardship. If you asked someone to switch places no one would. So its fucking bullshit and quite frankly insulting at this point.

I'm not gonna allow this narrative to continue tbh. I'm gonna be throwing this question of "would u switch places and choose to live like this?" To people that are tryna get me to live and shit bc honestly im sick of the blatent hypocrisy. Don't tell me to live when you would feel the exact same if you had been through like half of what I've been through!!

But im expected to live with all of it?? Fuck that.

I have a meeting with 3 of my workers on Tuesday and if I even bother to make it I will be asking them this. I know its just an asshole thing bc I can already see em squriming and struggling to respond. But it isnt fair to expect someone to live/encourage it if you aren't even willing to answer the hard questions. Imo. Ik they are just doing their job but I'm fucking 24 don't bullshit me and pretend like I'm some naive person.

Anyway this was a semi-rant but I've really been thinking about this lately. It doesn't make sense. Why do we encourage people to live through horrible fucking things. I mean if they want to live then yes pour on the encouragement but don't fucking try to guilt, shame, placate etc etc someone into living.

I shall end it here but yee. Interesting topic.