Venting “Support” from my friend after my last attempt

[Uninfluential_Karma]

This all happened shortly after my last attempts, which was literally last night. After I finally gave up, I texted one of my friends, (I'll just call him Puppy), and explained what was happening. He asked why I was trying to CTB and I tried to summarize everything that led up to it. I asked if we could call and he agreed. He was explaining how distressing this all was for him and the other friends who knew and then asked if he could give me tough love. I asked what he meant by tough love and he didn't explain anything so I just said fine. He went on this little rant about how my friends aren't my therapist and that I need to find ways to help myself. I was really confused by all that, so I challenged that idea and asked how I made them feel that way. It's been like this with different friends in the past, where if I even ask for clarification or challenge their thinking, they just backtrack and suddenly I'm interpreting what they said wrong or it wasn't actually their idea. This time, Puppy avoided most of my questions and said how another friend (I'll call them Bunny) was actually the one who felt this way. Bunny was supposed to be sleeping and supposedly knew very little about what was going on. If it was really Bunny's idea, why didn't they tell me this and why did they make Puppy do it?

Anyway I'm just very confused about everything. I was expecting concern or emotional support, but instead I felt guilt tripped and like I was the problem. I love these friends but they're trash at emotions. I can understand them feeling how they do, but the way it was expressed made me feel awful and I think that's probably the last thing to say after someone attempts. At least they're better than my father I guess, every time I expressed wanting to die, he basically told me to kms. Everyone says they care about me but they don't care about what I say, do, feel, think, express, talk, and when things are bad they say things that hurt. Is it bad that I feel like I stopped caring about them too?

 

[tsykoais]

Is it bad that I feel like I stopped caring about them too?

no it's not, op. yeah your friends "aren't supposed to be your therapist" but your friends are supposed to be there for you to support you and comfort you. i've gone through this and whenever i see a post like this it's another reminder that we truly have no one but ourselves in this life. sending you love, godspeed <3

 

[banger12]

I'm so sorry you went through this. For starters, one can understand the value of "tough love" in some circumstances but after someone tries to CTB is clearly not one of them. From there people can be really shitty, they don't communicate directly at all, play the blame game when they're caught in lies or being rude, and will express sympathy or liking of people that they don't have. It sucks but I've found this to be true and how you were treated was shitty and wrong but it seems like a prerequisite to having anyone in your life is the willingness to put up with a lot of unfair bullshit. That's the lesson I've been living anyway. As for whether the sentiment is Puppy's or Bunny's it's hard to tell from the info you provided, but God damn that prob aggravates some trust issues. I'd try to talk to all those involved and sort out who's really saying what. That's so upsetting and I'm sorry your friend was rude and unsupportive while you were in crisis.