Sunday. Thinking about the past week

[RawPremadePizza]

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I had a very agitated week, but I'm now feeling okay. I started exercising, and studying a little bit more. I now have a cold and not feeling very well, but still treat myself softly. I'm seeing improvements inside and outside, it's slowly and many people wouldn't appreciate it, but I do, and I'm so proud of myself. I look at my vision board hanging on my wall and see how far I've come. I still have a lot to improve, but it's becoming easier and easier, like an exponential curve you know? I love those curves.​

I have an habit chart and it's going very well too.​

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Honestly... it's scary to have this mindset, it is out of my comfort zone, full of self-hatred, perfectionism, seeking outside validation, not feeling seen or cared for. But deep inside I believe this is what I need to finally improve my life and reach my dreams. When I imagine myself in my highest point, I know I have this mindset. I feel happy and complete, just as I am...​

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Nothing anybody says reaches me. I'm incredibly rooted in myself. I believe in myself fully. I'm my own safe space and love myself unconditionally. I improve myself with gentleness and kindness. I'm never harsh or brute to myself. I forgive myself for my mistakes, because I know I can and want to do better. People can misunderstand me. I know my truth, and validate my own life. All I need is already within me. I live calmly because I know I have my back. I know I can do everything I want. People can have their own idea of me, it doesn't reach me, it doesn't change me. ​

 

[moshimoshi]

Wow it sounds like you're doing a lot of stuff to try and heal, I'm so proud of you!! The vision board is a good idea, I imagine it must help carry you through the process and maybe give a little hope. I can relate a lot to it being a scary and unfamiliar mindset, it feels strange to feel better after being at such low points for so long. I think the last paragraph is really amazing to keep in mind

 

[RawPremadePizza]

Omg soulkitty hii!!

Wow it sounds like you're doing a lot of stuff to try and heal, I'm so proud of you!! The vision board is a good idea, I imagine it must help carry you through the process and maybe give a little hope. I can relate a lot to it being a scary and unfamiliar mindset, it feels strange to feel better after being at such low points for so long. I think the last paragraph is really amazing to keep in mind

View attachment 139346

I love that image!!! Actually, I have it on my wall too!! To remind me of what's important.
Yeah, it's hard and very scary, and self-sabotaging doesn't help, but with healthy habits and meditation it surely becomes easier to catch those traps. I also catch myself trying to run too fast and improve more than I am able to and end up two steps back... that's my main problem! The good thing is that now I will keep that in mind more often.

Thank you pookie

 

[moshimoshi]

Omg soulkitty hii!!



I love that image!!! Actually, I have it on my wall too!! To remind me of what's important.
Yeah, it's hard and very scary, and self-sabotaging doesn't help, but with healthy habits and meditation it surely becomes easier to catch those traps. I also catch myself trying to run too fast and improve more than I am able to and end up two steps back... that's my main problem! The good thing is that now I will keep that in mind more often.

Thank you pookie View attachment 139350

Aweeeee I love your vision board!!! Haha I was not expecting that, it's kind of a crazy coincidence the image happens to be on your wall :) self sabotaging is so hard not to do I find myself doing it in almost every aspect of my life it's hard not to get motivation and go fast then get burnt out, I have that problem as well. Of course no problem <3 it's nice to see your updates and threads and know how it's going with you I also have more sailor moon pics like that one if you ever want them

 

[Labyrinth]

No one will feel your pain or read your innermost thoughts. Life belongs to you alone. It is necessary to be rooted in oneself because this is the only soil we have -- often arid and parched. Even if you want to, you can't always do better. Accepting powerlessness requires inconceivable strength. If we looked at our finitude we would contemplate the beauty of smallness