Suicide when you have children

[depressedsally]

I have two children I have lost all my family this year.
I just feel like I can't and won't go on at all.
im I selfish to want to go and leave my children. I do not know what will happen to them once I have gone.

i want to commit in feb 21.

 

[sadworld]

May I ask how old your children are? It's a really hard decision when you have children...

 

[depressedsally]

May I ask how old your children are? It's a really hard decision when you have children...

they are both under 5

 

[sadworld]

they are both under 5

I don't want to encourage you to ctb but if you find a place for them to stay they might forget about you in the future cause they are still pretty young.

 

[depressedsally]

I don't want to encourage you to ctb but if you find a place for them to stay they might forget about you in the future cause they are still pretty young.

yes that's my thoughts they are both to young to really understand.The problem I have is I don't have any family left now and don't know anyone who will take the both of them together for the rest of there life's. It doesn't make my decision easy one bit.

 

[Dead beat dad]

I feel your pain my friend. The conundrum of suffering physical, emotional and mental pain to the point where you want to end it all and having children bears a burden on the soul that is the torture of the dammed.
The loss of a parent will almost certainly and deeply impact your children, no matter what age.
There may be parental care and financial arrangements that can at least go some way to providing security if you choose to ctb, but there is no denying that there will be a hole that cannot be filled if this is the case.
I am in a similar situation to you and daily I wrestle with this conundrum.
I wish I had some helpful and practical advice to offer, but alas this is a square peg to a round hole question.
The community here are really kind and supportive and I hope that by discussing things maybe some light and peace can come to you.
Love and respect my friend
DBD

 

[depressedsally]

I feel your pain my friend. The conundrum of suffering physical, emotional and mental pain to the point where you want to end it all and having children bears a burden on the soul that is the torture of the dammed.
The loss of a parent will almost certainly and deeply impact your children, no matter what age.
There may be parental care and financial arrangements that can at least go some way to providing security if you choose to ctb, but there is no denying that there will be a hole that cannot be filled if this is the case.
I am in a similar situation to you and daily I wrestle with this conundrum.
I wish I had some helpful and practical advice to offer, but alas this is a square peg to a round hole question.
The community here are really kind and supportive and I hope that by discussing things maybe some light and peace can come to you.
Love and respect my friend
DBD

Thank you for your kinds words.
it's hard that's the only thing that has stopped me. I mainly always have them in my care and could never do it to them where they would find me never in a million years. the only option I have In when there in school/ nursery. I literally have no one who will take care of them once I've gone. My mum and brother took there own life's this year and I feel It's almost my time. I love my children with all my heart and I have been such a lucky person to have them but I just can't deal with the pain anymore. I wake and sleep suicide

 

[victoria91]

Hi .
This plays on my mind every single day now. I have 4 children ( young) . Feel free to message me :)

 

[BLUE1970]

The hard truth is your children will end up wards of the state if you have no family or friends to take care of them, likely in a state run home or fostered out and switching home often, chances are they will be seperated. If they are lucky they may be adopted and if very lucky, they may be adopted together. They will always have a million and one questions about why. I've held off for many years so when I go next year my youngest will be 18 and my eldest 29, I will have paid for our home outright by then so they will have financial security and always a home. It's a tough decision and I feel for you.

 

[Time to fly]

Thank you for your kinds words.
it's hard that's the only thing that has stopped me. I mainly always have them in my care and could never do it to them where they would find me never in a million years. the only option I have In when there in school/ nursery. I literally have no one who will take care of them once I've gone. My mum and brother took there own life's this year and I feel It's almost my time. I love my children with all my heart and I have been such a lucky person to have them but I just can't deal with the pain anymore. I wake and sleep suicide

If you could have anything apart from ctb what would you want to have in your life to make the pain go and allow you to sleep peacefully

 

[DontGiveAshiit]

I don't want to encourage you to ctb but if you find a place for them to stay they might forget about you in the future cause they are still pretty young.

I dont think that 5 years old is that young, above 3 years the kid is definitely matured enough to understand, and a parent suicide will definitely effect him badly.

OP Im sorry for your situation and definitely can relate to being suicidal, but I have to say, I dont understand why would a depressed/suicidal person ever bring children to the world.... I have been in depression most of my life and never even thought to bring children, that will might suffer as well through their life (and much more if I kms after I have them)

 

[depressedsally]

The hard truth is your children will end up wards of the state if you have no family or friends to take care of them, likely in a state run home or fostered out and switching home often, chances are they will be seperated. If they are lucky they may be adopted and if very lucky, they may be adopted together. They will always have a million and one questions about why. I've held off for many years so when I go next year my youngest will be 18 and my eldest 29, I will have paid for our home outright by then so they will have financial security and always a home. It's a tough decision and I feel for you.

thank you am in the U.K. so yes I feel it will be the Same here also. It's so hard I love my babies but I hate the pain

If you could have anything apart from ctb what would you want to have in your life to make the pain go and allow you to sleep peacefully

I really don't know

 

[BLUE1970]

thank you am in the U.K. so yes I feel it will be the Same here also. It's so hard I love my babies but I hate the pain

I really don't know

I'm in the UK too. xx

 

[depressedsally]

O

I dont think that 5 years old is that young, above 3 years the kid is definitely matured enough to understand, and a parent suicide will definitely effect him badly.

OP Im sorry for your situation and definitely can relate to being suicidal, but I have to say, I dont understand why would a depressed/suicidal person ever bring children to the world.... I have been in depression most of my life and never even thought to bring children, that will might suffer as well through their life (and much more if I kms after I have them)

I have been depressed the whole of my life and my circumstances have changed a lot since I have had my babies. You don't choice your life and the people you lose! My life have changed a lot in this past year and I don't ever see me coming threw it children or not

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I always say the same thing to these types of threads:it's completely your choice what is and is not worth living for. The facts are that yes your children likely will suffer both from the loss of a parent and the instability it brings to their lives. You can choose to continue living for them, but ultimately if this is not enough to motivate you to live that is just the reality, and you can't blame yourself for not hanging on.

 

[Givingupandgivingin]

I have two children, 11 and nearly 5.
I am trapped in an unhappy marriage. Well. I'm unhappy. He's fine. I want out. But I can't stand to put them through a divorce. I've come to the conclusion that they are better off if I'm dead. They won't have the upheaval in the same way. They can stay in this house. With their dad. No back and forth. They won't see my parents anymore because my husband doesn't get on with them which they will be upset about too. They are very close to my parents. But I believe everyone will get over it. It'll be a bit rubbish for a few months and then everyone gets on with their lives.
I don't do anything that someone else couldn't do. Maybe my husband will meet someone else. Someone better. I've not set the bar terribly high so it shouldn't be hard.
They'll get over it.

 

[Ghost2211]

I understand how you feel. My kids are 2, 6, and 8. I stay strong and keep going for the purpose of the children's well-being. I understand and respect if other parents are not able to do this, as it is a daily struggle. If you ever want to talk feel free to reach out. in the end only you have to live your daily life and only you can know what is the right thing to do for you and your little ones.

 

[Givingupandgivingin]

Oh and I've got them some special Christmas presents. I've sold some of my jewellery and possessions because no point in keeping them and I've bought them some things that they can remember me by.

 

[Not_Quite_Dead_Yet]

Oh and I've got them some special Christmas presents. I've sold some of my jewellery and possessions because no point in keeping them and I've bought them some things that they can remember me by.

I understand how you feel. My kids are 2, 6, and 8. I stay strong and keep going for the purpose of the children's well-being. I understand and respect if other parents are not able to do this, as it is a daily struggle. If you ever want to talk feel free to reach out. in the end only you have to live your daily life and only you can know what is the right thing to do for you and your little ones.

Such a hard place to be in and such a difficult decision. Don't know if there is any right answer that would provide any degree of comfort of peace to you. I've had no family for years and years and it has made me sad at times, but there is relief in not having to feel responsible for anyone else's re-action to what choices I make. How wringing emtionally this must be for you. I wish you and the children the least painful outcome.

 

[depressedsally]

It's hard isn't it

 

[Dead beat dad]

I have two children, 11 and nearly 5.
I am trapped in an unhappy marriage. Well. I'm unhappy. He's fine. I want out. But I can't stand to put them through a divorce. I've come to the conclusion that they are better off if I'm dead. They won't have the upheaval in the same way. They can stay in this house. With their dad. No back and forth. They won't see my parents anymore because my husband doesn't get on with them which they will be upset about too. They are very close to my parents. But I believe everyone will get over it. It'll be a bit rubbish for a few months and then everyone gets on with their lives.
I don't do anything that someone else couldn't do. Maybe my husband will meet someone else. Someone better. I've not set the bar terribly high so it shouldn't be hard.
They'll get over it.

Feel this to the core sister

DBD

 

[Final Escape]

I have two children I have lost all my family this year.
I just feel like I can't and won't go on at all.
im I selfish to want to go and leave my children. I do not know what will happen to them once I have gone.

i want to commit in feb 21.

You may not have to wait that long. They are trying to force vaccinate everyone in January. The vaccines are not like other vaccines. They will maim, kill, and sterilize most people. I'm not sure what the timeline is for other countries but this is what is coming in the US. I would try to make the best of it for now since many of us will not be here anyway sometime in the near future. Enjoy being with your kids as much as u can for the little time we got.

 

[Railiah P]

I have two children I have lost all my family this year.
I just feel like I can't and won't go on at all.
im I selfish to want to go and leave my children. I do not know what will happen to them once I have gone.

i want to commit in feb 21.

I don't have children but I often think about the same thing. Sometimes I feel like having children will give me hope and a reason to stay here....but I know deep down that these feelings will remain. Then I will have a new conflict.

 

[dropdeadfred]

I have two children I have lost all my family this year.
I just feel like I can't and won't go on at all.
im I selfish to want to go and leave my children. I do not know what will happen to them once I have gone.

i want to commit in feb 21.

So sorry for your losses. Grief is a wrecker. I am also a mom of an adolescent in turmoil for various reasons. I hope you make the best decisions you are able to. Feel free to reach out if ever needed. It's hard to come out & say, "I have kids," so I hope you ignore any negative feedback if it comes. No one knows the future & we all struggle.

 

[depressedsally]

So sorry for your losses. Grief is a wrecker. I am also a mom of an adolescent in turmoil for various reasons. I hope you make the best decisions you are able to. Feel free to reach out if ever needed. It's hard to come out & say, "I have kids," so I hope you ignore any negative feedback if it comes. No one knows the future & we all struggle.

Thank you for understanding and your kind words ill always be honest if people like my response or not x

 

[dropdeadfred]

Thank you for understanding and your kind words ill always be honest if people like my response or not x

Yep & one thing I've learned throughout life is that people often give feedback on things they know nothing about/don't have personal experience with. I don't take things personally anymore because of it.

 

[GreenTree]

Feel your pain. I have 19 year old daughter. Breaks my heart.