Suicide Statistics

[Paizen]

5% of people in the world want to kill themselves, which 1 in 20 people.

Yet, less than 0.009% actually commit suicide. The number is closer to 1 in 150,000.

That's too extreme of a number for me to feel like it's rational anymore. I don't really feel like suicide is the answer. Major depression is a serious problem and that statistic is not including things like accidental overdose which is usually people coping with a depressing life. Life is very short anyways so I just try my best to get through the worst parts, especially the "transitional periods," and also trying to change whatever I can for the better. I'm focusing on wellness models like sunlight, nutrition, community, meditation, etc. If there's anything this site has taught me, it's that suicide is messy, risky and maybe even more difficult than just fixing your life. It has a lot to do with the space you're in and people you're around. Parents for example are consistently assholes, and even if nobody cares about me, I have to care about me.

I also realized that suicide is much more common in young people, especially teenagers, which gives meaning to the phrase "it gets better." I agree, it does get better, and then it gets worse, and then it gets better again, etc. Life is a rollercoaster.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Many people want to escape their problems, but most don't want the baggage of having to question what happens after death, if it will be worse, cope with uncertainty, etc. Wanting to die comes from wanting to escape the pains of fixing your life. Actually dying requires asking philosophical questions, overcoming a survival instinct, losing the good parts, and disappointing the people you're close to. Also the stigma.

I can't say I agree that the act of suicide is more difficult, but the philosophical questions about "what if would be worse after death" do bother me a lot. In life, there is certainty. Death is the antithesis of certainty.

I have also struggled with how many times I get better, then get worse again. I wonder, once my adult life becomes more stable and is just routine and monotonous, will I be able to stop with those transitional periods and have emotional stability? I have yet to find out.

It's nice that you already have ideas on how to change and are trying to commit to living. Community did a lot for me, though it's probably one of the hardest things to obtain. If you don't mind me asking, what exactly started your depression? Maybe you can use that as a starting point to figure out why you haven't wanted to live, and work on that first.