Discussion Suicide Reason? (Mine is: Lost around 40 lacs (INR) in stock market and different love story) what is yours?

[SAI1234]

Hi Anyone, would like to share their reason why would like to do suicide?
My reason is: I've lost around 40 lacs Indian rupees and made a debt of 25 lacs among them and which I need to pay in EMI which is very difficult and maintaining different and weird love story according to Indian Culture.
But main reason is MONEY!!!!
I am planning properly this time.

I HAVE NOT EVEN SHARED THESE THINGS WITH ANYONE, YOU CAN ALSO SHARE HERE TO FEEL RELAX A BIT ATLEAST

Would you like to share yours, just wanna know?

 

[Graytaichi]

I do have lots of them. Hell no im not suiciding becasuee of a number written on a paper. Thats what it is

 

[Brianiskillingme]

I lost the love of my life in 2015. He became very ill and got some sort of infection that lead to septic shock and death. I havent wanted to do much of anything since he died. Brian (hence my user name) is a narcissist and treats me like crap but I dont care enough to even bother to leave him. I will leave on my terms.....CTB.

 

[Smart No More]

I lost the love of my life in 2015. He became very ill and got some sort of infection that lead to septic shock and death. I havent wanted to do much of anything since he died. Brian (hence my user name) is a narcissist and treats me like crap but I dont care enough to even bother to leave him. I will leave on my terms.....CTB.

God, I can't stand narcissists! Self obsessed, selfish, pathetic creatures. Usually sociopathic or psychopathic too. All because they're too scared to admit or face their vulnerability.

 

[Lizzy2k22]

Hi Anyone, would like to share their reason why would like to do suicide?
My reason is: I've lost around 40 lacs Indian rupees and made a debt of 25 lacs among them and which I need to pay in EMI which is very difficult and maintaining different and weird love story according to Indian Culture.
But main reason is MONEY!!!!
I am planning properly this time.

I HAVE NOT EVEN SHARED THESE THINGS WITH ANYONE, YOU CAN ALSO SHARE HERE TO FEEL RELAX A BIT ATLEAST

Would you like to share yours, just wanna know?

I sold the apartment and gave the money to my husband, he invested it in the business. Now my husband considers me a slave, he does not beat me, but treats me badly. In addition, it is hard to live in Russia for people who do not support the authorities, persecution. Unfortunately, I can't get H and I'm still thinking about a way.

 

[deathbecomesus]

Lifelong trauma and mental illness. But the thing that really is pushing me over the edge is my stalker ex and the trauma associated with what he did. Also, the fact that he is going to go out and hurt other people the same way and there is next to nothing I can do about it. I feel so helpless. I see so much cruelty in this world and I feel so helpless I can't save everyone or everything. It is so painful to think about.

 

[waiting4thenextbus]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand why you feel this way. Especially in a world that revolves around money.

Lack of money is also a very big reason for me to CTB, although I have some others too:
-I'm losing the battle with mental health (Chronic insomnia, OCD, ADHD, C/PTSD, chronic depression and anxiety, social anxiety). I suspect I'm on the autism spectrum as I match most of the criteria, (which makes life extremely difficult in such an ableist world).
-I'm losing the battle with physical health (IBS which is progressively getting worse, end stage arthritis which causes chronic pain all the time), and as a result of all this - I am wasting away into nothing. I currently weigh 51kg and I'm a relatively tall male in my late 20's.

So sick of this shit show we call 'life'. I wish it would end. I'm gone the minute I have my affairs in order.

I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide, and please bare in mind that the stock market could take a positive turn and you might be able to make your money back eventually.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Lost lots in stocks and crypto. Finances were always shaky. Walls closing in. Hopeless.

 

[derletzteweg]

I do not really know the reasons. I dont have any problems that arent solvable. My Life isnt bad but feeling nothing feels temptious. I just cant get the thaught out of my mind.

 

[thankyouforthis]

I have had some good moments in life, but I do feel that, for the most part, those are over.
I have trauma from my past that has been hard to overcome.
I have extreme anxiety, particularly social anxiety; this makes me worry about losing my partner, who is very social.
I also have some kind of gastrointestinal disorder (suspected IBS but not clearly diagnosed yet) so that plus my anxiety equals my stomach is always in pain. I can't even enjoy food anymore because every time I eat, I can look forward to 1-2 hours, minimum, of extreme discomfort.
I also have occipital neuralgia, which basically means my neck is permanently stiff and constantly in pain.
I am flat broke and my life is slowly getting worse because of my poverty. I am losing some of the few things I had left that I truly loved: my privacy, my alone time, my "freedom." Because I have to live with strangers now because I can't afford to live alone or even just with my partner. So having already been confined to a small apartment I'm about to be confined to a small bedroom starting in a few days. We will all be living on top of each other, like rats. (One of VERY few things that gives me any hope these days is the obvious, imminent collapse of capitalism!)
The world is a horrible place full of racism, sexism, and so forth.
Finally, though I know this is no reason to ctb, I don't think I'll ever be happy (enough) with my appearance (I know most people aren't 100% happy about it, but they still go out and live their lives). Insecurity about my body causes me to miss out on things that might be "fun," like going to the beach. I just can't bear to be looked at by anyone, ever. I wish I were invisible.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Mental health, abuse, no "friends" or "family".

 

[SAI1234]

Lost lots in stocks and crypto. Finances were always shaky. Walls closing in. Hopeless.

similar to my situation

 

[lucy101]

Lifelong trauma from my father abusing my mother and then my brother and I. I think what really intensified the feelings of su*cide was definately how my father treated me towards the end as well as during high school. It felt like all the verbal and emotional abuse was mainly targeted towards me. And my mom just let me take it. I didn't sleep during that time bc of him. He'd always come back home late at night after a binge drinking and doing meth and take out all his anger on me. In a way, I feel like my mom used me as shield to lessen what she got. Used me, her teenage daughter, as the sacrifice lmao. I think that's what started my many mental issues and me ultimately wanting to end it all. Things just spiralled out of control from then on, I've never been the same. I'm just too sad at this point. I don't see the beauty of life anymore and that actually saddens me bc a part of does know how could good it could actually be. Sorry for rambling on and on btw.

 

[SAI1234]

Lifelong trauma from my father abusing my mother and then my brother and I. I think what really intensified the feelings of su*cide was definately how my father treated me towards the end as well as during high school. It felt like all the verbal and emotional abuse was mainly targeted towards me. And my mom just let me take it. I didn't sleep during that time bc of him. He'd always come back home late at night after a binge drinking and doing meth and take out all his anger on me. In a way, I feel like my mom used me as shield to lessen what she got. Used me, her teenage daughter, as the sacrifice lmao. I think that's what started my many mental issues and me ultimately wanting to end it all. Things just spiralled out of control from then on, I've never been the same. I'm just too sad at this point. I don't see the beauty of life anymore and that actually saddens me bc a part of does know how could good it could actually be. Sorry for rambling on and on btw.

Really so sad of you but anyway all the best for your trails which you will do get some peace

 

[la fin de tout]

I've been wrongly accused of something which caused my network of friends to banish me, I can't make an argument or defend myself, they aren't into creating restorative justice, and it's been over 2 years since I've spoken to any of them, too much silence and too much fear to attempt to be social. Over those years I spent in a relationship with someone who was really good to me, but also very expensive to keep around. A few months ago she hard stop moved out and broke it off with me, in turn leaving me high and dry in thousands of dollars of debt. She's now dating a Hollywood celebrity. I literally can't compete, they both live in my head, I think about the abandonment and isolation every day.

 

[FuneralCry]

I want to die as I do not see life as being worth living. I simply prefer the sound of non existence and I see no point to suffering for decades until old age just to die eventually. To me existing is so horrifying and I see consciousness as being a form of torture. There is nothing really positive about being alive, it is just unnecessary pain and misery and things could always get so much worse. In non existence nothing can hurt me and it is what I want the most. There are an unlimited amount of things that are wrong with being alive and for me the problem is life itself. I could never want to live no matter what.

 

[siray]

Hi Anyone, would like to share their reason why would like to do suicide?
My reason is: I've lost around 40 lacs Indian rupees and made a debt of 25 lacs among them and which I need to pay in EMI which is very difficult and maintaining different and weird love story according to Indian Culture.
But main reason is MONEY!!!!
I am planning properly this time.

I HAVE NOT EVEN SHARED THESE THINGS WITH ANYONE, YOU CAN ALSO SHARE HERE TO FEEL RELAX A BIT ATLEAST

Would you like to share yours, just wanna know?

Hi I'm from Pak, bohot dukh hua yeh sunn kar, mene bhi apne father ke 15 lakh zaaya kiyay hain, feeling very guilty, aaj dad payed my udhaars of total 2.5 lakh and I just wanna die right now, I'm so overwhelmed with extreme guilt.
I hope your debt doesn't get transferred to your family in case you CTB.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I've been wrongly accused of something which caused my network of friends to banish me, I can't make an argument or defend myself, they aren't into creating restorative justice, and it's been over 2 years since I've spoken to any of them, too much silence and too much fear to attempt to be social. Over those years I spent in a relationship with someone who was really good to me, but also very expensive to keep around. A few months ago she hard stop moved out and broke it off with me, in turn leaving me high and dry in thousands of dollars of debt. She's now dating a Hollywood celebrity. I literally can't compete, they both live in my head, I think about the abandonment and isolation every day.

I had a similar experience with a woman who made me forget my troubles but cost me a lot of money and then ditched me… Sorry

 

[Gaga786]

Hi I'm from Pak, bohot dukh hua yeh sunn kar, mene bhi apne father ke 15 lakh zaaya kiyay hain, feeling very guilty, aaj dad payed my udhaars of total 2.5 lakh and I just wanna die right now, I'm so overwhelmed with extreme guilt.
I hope your debt doesn't get transferred to your family in case you CTB.

Im from Pakistan as well. Childhood trauma which consisted of abuse, neglect and bullying has completely torn me apart. I don't wish to live anymore in a cruel world like this.

 

[Romeo1984]

I lost the love of my life. She died due to Covid.
All the plans and dreams I made in life were with her and now I don't want to live anymore.
I'm handsome, successful and I can relate to people easily. But nobody attracts me. Not the same connection and belonging I had with her. I don't know how to explain it, I just know that I'm discouraged from life and tired of living without meaning.

 

[HappyForever?]

Short and ugly, can't find girlfriend as a result.

 

[SAI1234]

Short and ugly, can't find girlfriend as a result.

Think once again, anyway its your decision

I lost the love of my life. She died due to Covid.
All the plans and dreams I made in life were with her and now I don't want to live anymore.
I'm handsome, successful and I can relate to people easily. But nobody attracts me. Not the same connection and belonging I had with her. I don't know how to explain it, I just know that I'm discouraged from life and tired of living without meaning.

I can feel your pain, take care bro

Hi I'm from Pak, bohot dukh hua yeh sunn kar, mene bhi apne father ke 15 lakh zaaya kiyay hain, feeling very guilty, aaj dad payed my udhaars of total 2.5 lakh and I just wanna die right now, I'm so overwhelmed with extreme guilt.
I hope your debt doesn't get transferred to your family in case you CTB.

Hey so sad to here as you're also same situation mine, I don't want my parents to pay my debts, as they cant pay and I cant pay EMI's as I have to work and earn for nothing, only to pay mistakes and as I am also in very fucked up situation in love...many depressions.
Yes, I hope my debts wont shift to my parents

 

[blue_muse]

Living for others, just so they can have a clear conscience.

 

[freedompass]

I fucked up my son's childhood in a big way, along with my mother, other family members, social workers, foster parents, schools and society in general. I can't forgive myself or come to terms with it. It's hard to forgive my mother too for her part in it, especially since she has never been accountable for what she did. I never meant to have a child but was psychotic and vulnerable at the time. Bad decisions were made by everyone. He shuns and hates me. I don't know if he will ever recover. Realising he was withdrawing from the world over ten years ago triggered a decade of serious suicidal ideation and crippling guilt. Now it's a habit. The situation hasn't materially changed. Something like that can definitely make you want out.

 

[jitendrabagaria786@]

Well money is my reason also beside depression, social anxiety and some other reasons also

 

[siray]

Im from Pakistan as well. Childhood trauma which consisted of abuse, neglect and bullying has completely torn me apart. I don't wish to live anymore in a cruel world like this.

I'm sorry to hear that, I also suffered childhood bullying, can we please talk on private message?

 

[thankyouforthis]

Lifelong trauma from my father abusing my mother and then my brother and I. I think what really intensified the feelings of su*cide was definately how my father treated me towards the end as well as during high school. It felt like all the verbal and emotional abuse was mainly targeted towards me. And my mom just let me take it. I didn't sleep during that time bc of him. He'd always come back home late at night after a binge drinking and doing meth and take out all his anger on me. In a way, I feel like my mom used me as shield to lessen what she got. Used me, her teenage daughter, as the sacrifice lmao. I think that's what started my many mental issues and me ultimately wanting to end it all. Things just spiralled out of control from then on, I've never been the same. I'm just too sad at this point. I don't see the beauty of life anymore and that actually saddens me bc a part of does know how could good it could actually be. Sorry for rambling on and on btw.

Feel free not to answer but I wonder, do you still have to live with these horrible people?

I want to die as I do not see life as being worth living. I simply prefer the sound of non existence and I see no point to suffering for decades until old age just to die eventually. To me existing is so horrifying and I see consciousness as being a form of torture. There is nothing really positive about being alive, it is just unnecessary pain and misery and things could always get so much worse. In non existence nothing can hurt me and it is what I want the most. There are an unlimited amount of things that are wrong with being alive and for me the problem is life itself. I could never want to live no matter what.

I think you hit upon something very important when you mentioned "consciousness as being a form of torture." I know all sentient beings are conscious, so for instance a cat can be depressed; but the specific human brand of consciousness, including an understanding of past, present, and future (I don't mean just having memories-- lots of animals do that--but rather understanding a sequence of events, the passage of time, etc.) is painful to the point of, I think, being a hindrance.

It's funny to me how widely accepted human supremacy is, for many reasons; but the one that's relevant here is that there's this assumption that being able to think the way WE do is somehow preferable to the thought processes of all nonhumans. People point to things like technology, art, language, and medicine to justify this; but there are actually examples of each (including art/aesthetics/things created JUST because they're pretty and serving no other function) in other animals as well.

So, what exactly is our advantage? What gives us dominion? Oh, right, I forgot-- some magical creature who lives in the sky. Because we look like it. Got it.

 

[mandyjohnuk]

Physical pain. Plain and simple. Which in turn messes with my head. I have just had enough of living in pain. Pain meds bung me up. Booze makes me I'll. Weed is the only thing to numb the pain but can't smoke it as it stinks. Either end of summer of during winter it will be time for me.

 

[Anonymus]

I just do not know how to continue... I do not really think about committing suicide, but I do not know what I have to do more in this life, I have nothing more to do... I just wait for my body to give no more of itself and that meanwhile things do not get worse, but they are getting worse every day that passes, hahahaha.

Seriously, I don't know how to go on... I thought that my beloved friend would be a point and apart and maybe a reason to go on, not for me that I am not worth a shit but for her, that in some way I could be a support or help her for whatever she wanted, as a kind of friend-servant available for life...
... but I couldn't take it anymore and I broke the friendship into a thousand pieces... and I find myself back at a similar point to a year ago and I'm afraid again.

I really don't know how to go on and I don't want to commit suicide either, but I just don't know how to go on living.

//

Jo es que simplement no se continuar... realment no penso en suïcidar-me, però es que ja no se que he de fer mes en aquesta vida, no em queda res més per fer... em limito a esperar a que el cos no doni mes de si i que de mentres les coses no vagin a pitjor, però van a pitjor cada dia que passa, jajaja.

De debó que no se continuar... pensava que la meva estimada amiga sería un punt i apart i potser un motiu per seguir endavant, no pas per mi que no valc una merda sinó per ella, que d'alguna manera li pogués servir de suport o d'ajuda pel que volgués, com una espécie d'amic-servent disponible per tota la seva vida...
... però no ho he pogut suportar més i he trencat l'amistat en mil bocins... i em torno a trobar en un punt semblant a fa un any i torno a tenir por.

De de bó que no se continuar i tampoc em vull suïcidar, però es que no se continuar vivint.

 

[Banshe]

I'm just so tired. I'm tired of feeling anything. I just want to rest my eyes and not have to worry. I'm also scared of where my country is going. It may sound hyperbolic but it won't be long before people are actively hunting down folks like me.

I have everything I need in a drawer. And I feel ready.