Discussion Suicide Note.

[SkyExists]

Is anybody else just, absolutely pissed they'll never be able to void all of their emotions into a couple of pages? cause there's just too much, or it's so hard to explain? had personal experience with this, makes me so fucking angry I just wanna cry, shame.

 

[90starve]

why does it only have to be a couple of pages? :)

 

[mlcs]

Is anybody else just, absolutely pissed they'll never be able to void all of their emotions into a couple of pages? cause there's just too much, or it's so hard to explain? had personal experience with this, makes me so fucking angry I just wanna cry, shame.

It's so complex I wouldn't be able to explain to anyone. Couple of years ago I ve had a need to talk about what's bothering me, but after realising there are no right words that could make other person to understand any of it, I just quit. Not that it would help me in any way so it didn't bother me that much. 20 people would have 20 different understandings of my suicide so I just stopped worrying about that and focused on my only problem - to stop existing. Everything else is not my problem.

 

[day]

I've slowly been drip feeding my trauma to my peers over the years so that way my note can basically be a TL;DR of why I'm there though I expect when my time for CTB has came everyone will have expected it. Some have told me it's like I'm already gone and haven't been there for awhile.

 

[exhaustedanonymous]

mhm, that's why i\m not leaving a note or anything. i might say bye to a couple people, but.. my brains too complicated to explain in as many sheets of paper as i could find, and honestly, i don't really feel like trying to explain anymore anyway.

 

[Catastrofe]

I will write a note for sure, but not too long. People who cannot understand and only judge will even if I write a million pages, whereas people that knows and will understand will anyway, even with few words.

 

[MrDarkness]

The note is your last message, the last thing you want to say or heard, it's your final spirit and will on paper, if you need to express yourself by writing a book, go for it, there is no shame in writing your final goodbyes as long as you want

 

[AnaKat]

If you want to write 100 pages you do so. If it's important to you to say what you feel then who cares how much space it takes up.write a book the length of war and peace of you want.

Personally, I've never considered writing a note. I know that's selfish, but I feel like I don't owe anyone an explanation.

 

[whorl]

In my case, I have written for years into my diary's. At the peak I wrote just within a couple months about 700'000 characters down. The world probably will just get a few sentences, when not just a `i finally extinct`, if maybe not even anyhing at all

 

[Gonnerr]

I will leave no note. There is nothing i want to explain.

 

[SkyExists]

why does it only have to be a couple of pages? :)

More so it would be hard to explain everything..

I will leave no note. There is nothing i want to explain.

Sorry for what you've been thru buddy.

In my case, I have written for years into my diary's. At the peak I wrote just within a couple months about 700'000 characters down. The world probably will just get a few sentences, when not just a `i finally extinct`, if maybe not even anyhing at all

Damn, solid idea.

 

[Octopixie]

Is anybody else just, absolutely pissed they'll never be able to void all of their emotions into a couple of pages? cause there's just too much, or it's so hard to explain? had personal experience with this, makes me so fucking angry I just wanna cry, shame.

I wouldn't say pissed, but I don't think it's going to make a difference if I try to write it all out because I know from experience that my words get misunderstood. It's a huge part of the problem that is me, and why in my last few days I am utterly alone. I have zero desire to hurt anyone on my way out, but I know that if I started writing to certain people and telling them how I truly feel I wouldn't be surprised if they joined this site to ctb

I also have several journals that explain some of how I got to this point, so if they are that desperate to know they can try to find those. I've spent most of my life trying to explain my thoughts and experiences, so 2 pages or 50 pages wouldnt even scratch the surface

 

[SkyExists]

I wouldn't say pissed, but I don't think it's going to make a difference if I try to write it all out because I know from experience that my words get misunderstood. It's a huge part of the problem that is me, and why in my last few days I am utterly alone. I have zero desire to hurt anyone on my way out, but I know that if I started writing to certain people and telling them how I truly feel I wouldn't be surprised if they joined this site to ctb

I also have several journals that explain some of how I got to this point, so if they are that desperate to know they can try to find those. I've spent most of my life trying to explain my thoughts and experiences, so 2 pages or 50 pages wouldnt even scratch the surface

Damn that's tough, I feel you there, I'm sorry for what you've been through, seriously, feel free to DM me anytime if you need it.

 

[ihatethisplanet]

I wrote a test one and it was about a page. After thinking about it, I don't think I'll write anything but, "I'm sorry, but I don't want to live this life." (Borrowing the title of the book about Nancy Spungen.)

It would all be self-explanatory. My life has been in the crapper since Covid and the lockdowns wreaked their havoc and has only gotten worse this year with an upcoming divorce and my dog dying. I feel too tired and dead inside to write more than that.