Suicide Letter

[SadGirl]

Write your suicide letter here. For anyone, say anything, let it out.

My letter: Mom, I'm sorry for doing this, I love you unconditionally, I swore that as long as you were alive, I wouldn't kill myself. But I could not endure so much pain, so much depression, anxiety, so much wrong in my life, in the world itself, seeing people suffer, it is a combination of everything that makes me so depressed that it leads me to this desire to not exist anymore.

My ex-girlfriend: I also love you unconditionally, I've always loved you, I've always been happy with you, I just wish everything had been different, it was a pity that our relationship didn't work out. I was very happy with you, we were happy together, I wanted everything to be as it was in the beginning, with our love for the skin, the intense feeling for each other. I still love you, I wanted you back, but that's one of the reasons I'm leaving this world. I love you and I will love you wherever I am.

 

[Joey]

I wish I would've been a better person. It seems like that I've let everyone in my life down and even my own parents. I know deep down that they're secretly disappointed in me on the type of person I've become. An immature 27 year old that's stuck in a shit job and feel worthless in his life.

I did alright in school and honestly, some of it was good times of my life. I wish I would've done better because I wouldn't be in the situation that I'm in currently. The job I'm in is just plain shit and has no future whatsoever and the wage is far from livable.

I used to live as a NEET for a couple of years because I was too afraid to face reality. Funny thing was though that those moments were the greatest times of my life and I've met some amazing ass friends on PS3 and PS4. Even on the Nintendo Switch.

I've always lived my life with mental health issues and when it came to depression, I knew I would get help and get on the right medication.

Back during September 2020, I've ran away from home and ended up on the news. I was gone for over 36 hours. I don't know why the fuck I did what I did but I wasn't in the right state of mind. I ended up in the psychiatric ward for 2 weeks and ended up paying $52,000. Yeah I ain't bothering to ask for help.

I've lost a close friend recently and I lied to her and she wants nothing to do with me. She would always check up on me to make sure that I was okay and was a good friend. She pushed me away and now I got nobody. I'm sorry Megan. I shouldn't have done that too you...

She was right all a long on giving me good advice but I was to stone-headed to listen and started following my own path which was full of depression and loneliness. You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves and that's something that I deeply regret.

For a couple of friendships that I've ruined here...I'm sorry for doing what I did too you and I wish I could've fixed it but it's sometimes hard to let go. They both want nothing to do with me and it sucks worrying about it all the time because it does more harm than good.

Im 27 right now and don't even have my life together. My Dad is always hanging onto my money and both my parents think I'm too immature to handle it which I'm not and told them many times that I want to gain control back. If I didn't cooperate with them, they threatened to kick me out..

The other day I told my Step Mom that I want to commit suicide and she was like "go ahead." Maybe it's better if I fulfill her promise and I don't have to worry about feeling like a worthless piece of shit all the time.

I got my SN ready and once June 13th most likely hits, I'm closing the curtain that's called life.

The good times however....MAN were they good!

I don't know what lies on the other side but I'm ready to face it. For all we know, there's no life after death. But if there's a way for me too, I'll send you all as many blessings as I can from the other side

Well that's my cue, time to live out the last remaining weeks of my life.

 

[WornOutLife]

My intro, at least, will be something like:

"I really did what I could. I certainly tried to live this unasked thing called life. I've experienced great and horrible moments: fun, sadness, love, depression, bipolar disorder, being fat, being slim, being handome, being ugly, joy, ecstasy and every single emotion you can think of. However, I was never really "here". I'm just not capable of grasping the idea of existing and be happy with a normal life. I need answers which I will probably never get such as "what are we? what's the universe? why is there something instead of nothing" and so on.

I thank all of you, who have been part of my life somehow. I really liked you but I decided that becoming a lonely person and ending my life was the answer.
Now, let me share some more words I've written exclusively for some of you:"

And then I'll write specific letters to my dad, brother, nephew, dog (he can't read but he's a good listener), some ex friends and my mom.

 

[nolongerhuman]

I love you. Every day I lived for the past several months was for your sake. Please forgive me. I'm so sorry. I was in so much pain every day.

(for a relative)

 

[Bedrock48]

A couple excerpts from my current letter, probably needs re-writing sometime but I haven't had the mental energy for that.

"Trauma building up over my developing years has damaged my brain beyond repair and paved the way to the mental illness that slowly broke and crippled me until I collapsed under the strain"

"Sometimes a community online was the only thing holding me above the water."

"As hard as it might be, I emplore you guys to think only of the happiest memories we've shared together. You're all going to do great things in life and have so many more happy memories in the years to come, even if I'm not here to witness it."

I hope my letter will at least partially explain why and provide some closure.

 

[Sslsh]

Nobody's responsible for my death.

That's all I'll write.