Suicide is only wishful

[BobMorane]

Live or die.
Continuum of cold existence or eternal warm oblivion.
Would I rather spend a meaningless life or give this end some meaning.
First choice is living with perpetual grief of who you once were, it's seeing your peers outgrow you while you're still stuck behind, still thinking when you were happy for the last time. It's seeing your parents grow old and you reaching the age of your parents when you were little. It's your little brother being your big brother. It's your colleagues/schoolmates not inviting you for beer because they don't recognise you anymore. It's your best friend you thought would never leave you losing interest in keeping in touch at all. It's all your ex-girlfriends wanting to see you and you wanting to preserve that glorious image they have of you so you're not seeing them at all. It's you looking in a mirror every morning and slowly forgetting who you once truly were.
It's you being a child the rest of your life.
The other option is quite simpler. A little moment of terror for eternal peace instead of a lifelong terror with no peace..
For the first time in my life, I'm truly scared of the dark.
But in the best of cases, I'm waking up to a better reality.

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide is difficult as we are programmed to survive. If it was easier, I would already be gone. The way I see it, we were all perfectly fine not existing before we were forced to live. Non existence is the complete absence of suffering as you simply cannot experience anything. It is the end of this pointless struggle called life. I have been suicidal for a long time and yet I am still here. I hope I will get the courage, as I cannot put up with this life for decades.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I relate to everything you said. It is a truly tough position to be in between choosing misery for a lifetime or going through the terror of ending onelife. I saw it up close when a friend of mine had to make that choice and it needs alot of courage maybe fuelled by the worst desperation one can possibly feel. I feel your pain. You are not alone

 

[forgotten15]

I totally get you, i feel like this for so long. I have been suicidal since I was very little and here I am at 30 years old…still here. I have been fighting this battle all my life - choosing between going through this hell of a life feeling empty and depressed or just gather all my power to ctb and stop the suffering. Dying by suicide is very hard, not only emotional wise, but also overcoming SI and finding the perfect method for you. I feel so jealous of people who did it, I think they are heroes.