Suicide ideation on a loop

[mini_weeny]

Hi, I have a history of OCD, anxiety and depression took Prozac for 5 years then stopped it and didn't know I would fall in a downward spiral of even more fucked up mental health issues and for the first time suicidal thoughts that are just with me all day all days. Can anyone explain me why we get stuck in this suicidal loop??? I guess it's for the same reason ppl keep trying to kill themselves even when they hurt themselves every time??? What's going on?? Why are we stuck in this loop??

 

[Mendex]

First time when i was 10 years old i thought that people who commit suicide are stupid and ignorant and that would be something gonna never do.
Now going back as a 12, 14, 17 years old, I've wondering as much i don't know about how the world works. I start understanding how much fuck up the thing really are to me and how little opportunies will gonna go ahead at me to change that. Now 20 years old living along the idea of suicide is like feeling in home.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Why are we stuck in this loop??

I have a history of OCD, anxiety and depression

I think you answered your own question. I have exactly the same conditions and feel ya bud.

 

[WornOutLife]

I wonder the same. This suicidal loop sucks so much! It's preventing me for doing a healthy life, meeting friends and girls, visiting my family, etc.
I hate it!

 

[wannago]

Crazy seeing this, I've been having the same issue over the past few days. I'm decided on EOL anyways, but I do know what you mean. Sucks. Huge distraction from getting anything done. Maybe it is something to do with depression as I have it in my past, but it doesn't feel the same at the moment. It just feels purely suicidal, and that I'm just so ready for it to be done with. Maybe it is just subconsciously to do with lockdowns etc, I do always notice a difference.