Suicide due to heartbreak

[LoverofDeath]

We all have our reasons, your reason is not stupid. People receive pain in different ways and this experience that is really painful to you, won't be a big deal to someone else who has gone through this. Do what you think is right for you.

 

[FairyAlys]

I'm sorry for what you are going through. Some people are able to get over heartbreak and others aren't. It is one of my reasons too. My second husband left me after nearly 20 years , ripped me off financially and did a lot of terrible things that I really didn't deserve. But I had a lovely friend , just a friend, who was there for me and helped me and made me laugh. I started dating and having fun again when the friend confessed his love for me and how he was going to leave his wife ( on verge of divorce before we were friends)and move in with me ...... that was September 2016.
September 2017 he decided his parents and her parents and his job were more important .... well any and every excuse really ... I couldn't be friends anymore and a year later here I am. I've tried and tried but I can't get past it. I've tried being grateful for what I have , but every time I'm alone and not busy he's in my head. I'm pretty disgusted with myself for being weak . For the first time in my life I'd felt loved , I understood love songs and poetry and passion.
"It's better to have loved and lost"
I disagree. I was safe before now I'm hollow and flaccid.
It's the most overwhelming pain.
So I understand why you're here and it's not for anyone else to judge you.

 

[creatureoflight]

Ouch, that sounds really hard! I am really sorry to hear what happened to you. I also had a really bad breakup 6 years ago and still love that guy, but was able to find someone new. Maybe there is still some hope left for you? Suicide is always an option, maybe there is someone else out there for you? I thought it would never be possible for me but I was able to find someone else who is a great match.

 

[Broken Widow]

It's an indescribable pain. It eats you up everyday from the inside. I am crying while I'm writing this. I can't stand it.

I lost my husband from cancer. I wish I would die of heartbreak.

I've been through the heartache of breakups, in fact I'm going through that right now in my first post-loss relationship. As brutal as that is, nothing beats loss from death for me. His death changed me as a person. And seeing as he was my soulmate, and I will never have that again, it seems that my options are to be miserable in the years I have left, or leave sooner, rather than later.

 

[Life sucks]

I really understand. Its not silly or anything like that. Loss of others is one deep suffering and not uncommon thing. Not everyone also can let it go because sometimes its very deep. I've lost many ppl and I can be very sad for losing online people also.

I think sometimes the person realize how life is a cruel and brutal joke. Even when inside the relationship one can be afraid of external factors, time moving and many other things. And the worst part is if something ends, end is something like death, its like something or someone are dead in your eyes even if they are biologically alive.

Loss of others is something very deep and mix it with other negative aspects of life and it become very big suffering. Not many understands it sadly

 

[FairyAlys]

I lost my husband from cancer. I wish I would die of heartbreak.

I've been through the heartache of breakups, in fact I'm going through that right now in my first post-loss relationship. As brutal as that is, nothing beats loss from death for me. His death changed me as a person. And seeing as he was my soulmate, and I will never have that again, it seems that my options are to be miserable in the years I have left, or leave sooner, rather than later.

I'm so sorry for your loss

 

[NeverEndingCircle]

I know many of you will read this and think, oh you want to commit suicide due to heartbreak? Thats probably such a stupid reason. But for me, it means everything.

I have been on this forum for 3 months now, and I have done nothing but think about it. I already have attempted and failed. But I think im ready. For someone to be so integral in your life to just treat u so cruelly out of the blue, say the most disgustingly hurtful things, for friends who don't care or understand, and just say move on, for that person to treat you like your existence doesn't matter. It just adds more fire to the flame.

I have been to the therapist twice, which was a huge failure. I have tried random free counseling websites in which three out of four people after telling them my situation told me I was "fucking stupid" and signed off. I feel I have no where to go. No one to ease my pain.

He came over today and dropped off all of my stuff. Told me he "he misses me from time to time" then proceeded to say he had to go. He went on vacation that we were supposed to go on and he bought me a shirt. Like wtf are u serious?

He was my best friend for 9 years. My bf for 6 years and 5 months. He has been such an integral part of life that it feels worse than anything you can imagine. He was my person, my confidant, and then I am nothing. I have tried to get over him, drank, went out, partied but my light has flickered out. I dont see the point. I don't want to live. I don't care. What makes things worse is that I wanted to go into medicine to help people. But if I get prescribed medication then it goes on my record and ruins my chances into gettin into it. Such bullshit in this American system.

I feel isolated with these thoughts. I feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. I feel dead already. I don't want to continue. And I appreciate this forum for being pro-choice. And I wish that I am successful next time.

I feel this exact same way. My wife leaving me out of the blue has just confirmed what i already knew. Im pointless.

 

[misunderst0od]

I want to thank everyone who replied to this and shared their pain. I have felt hesitant to write this because I felt I would get judged. Please if anyone wants to talk send me a message. I am severely depressed and I dont know what else to do. Reading everyones kind words have helped me to know im not the only one. I wish you all were here so I could hug you, and we could get drunk on wine and talk but this is the internet and you all are probably from all over the country.

Everyday is a living nightmare and everyday I am the same. The hours fly by and I feel the world still is going on without me and I feel so lost.

 

[NeverEndingCircle]

im getting real tired of dragging myself through each minuet. im avoiding social media cuz i just see things that make it harder. my ex is emptying our house and i have things there i need to get but cant cuz i cant be in there more than 5 minuets without having a panic attack or breaking down. i have knowone to help.i occassionally feel like im floating and people are whirling around me. im in the uk btw

 

[FairyAlys]

im getting real tired of dragging myself through each minuet. im avoiding social media cuz i just see things that make it harder. my ex is emptying our house and i have things there i need to get but cant cuz i cant be in there more than 5 minuets without having a panic attack or breaking down. i have knowone to help.i occassionally feel like im floating and people are whirling around me. im in the uk btw

Avoiding social media is very wise . It serves only to keep the gaping wound open and fills your head with pictures that are hard to forget. I'm in the U.K. too.

 

[misunderst0od]

I deleted all of my accounts accept for fb messenger. It has helped a lot. But again I feel my isolation is still the same.

 

[StarDust]

I understand you. No reason is stupid and that mentality should disappear. The pain of losing something loved can be so great than I completely understand why you are feeling like it. I'm sorry of your loss.



If you never lost somebody really important I doubt you can understand it.

I understand where you are coming from. Once upon a time, a very long long time ago....I too went through something eerily similar...then again we probably all have at one point or another. Either way after such a long relationship with someone you care about deeply, come a sink pain like not other...and it can be all consuming. Honestly back then, I thought I would never get over it...but with time and a year or so after, I did...I moved on but it took a lot of time and the pain and the thoughts were all consuming. So I do understand and I am not saying that it will get easier or anything like that, just that I have been there and eventually...it did get better. I can no think back on times (when I bother to do so which is very very rare) and I can view it in a detached manner and as the years have passed, surprisingly I don't remember much of our memories or our time together. (minds way of healing)

At the time, I honestly thought that was the end of me, that that was the most painful thing I could ever go through. Boy was I wrong....dead wrong. That came much later and it has destroyed me completely as a person, 4 years later and there is still no getting over it....but that is another story. (and no, it wasn't over a partner, in case you were wondering)

They say time heals all wounds...that is just not true...time creates scars that sometimes still hurt.

 

[Tiburcio]

I'm really sorry of your loss.

They say time heals all wounds...that is just not true...time creates scars that sometimes still hurt.

Unline other people say, time doesn't heal anything. It opens more your wounds anf rot them. With time the pain increases more and more... I feel you...

 

[StarDust]

I'm really sorry of your loss.


Unline other people say, time doesn't heal anything. It opens more your wounds anf rot them. With time the pain increases more and more... I feel you...

I like what you wrote...that is so very true